I'm gonna start off with misrepresentation.
These are my ponderings from the day, if you're uninterested, that's ok, I'll never know.
Unless you tell me, but that would be rude.
There have been times where I thought myself, a good, and effective communicator. I have since altered my thinking. I have now come to the conclusion, that I have been around many great communicators who have made me feel like a great communicator. Those people have been in church, in school, and family. I realize now, that there are many times I come home thinking, not in these words exactly, but basically, I think, I misrepresented myself. Maybe this is because I was around less effective communicators and maybe I could still hold on to a little hope that I do know how to communicate somewhat effectively. Maybe not. But I do know this, (this too adds to the previously stated hope) there are only a few real rules to being a good communicator. Thus making others feel well-represented, and also giving yourself a chance to well-represent.
#1- First and foremost, Shut Up! For 5 seconds (at least, but hopefully you can hold out a little longer) let the other person talk. This is key. Communication can really only occur between 2 or more people. Not a 1-way street folks. So just shut up. Zip your mouth closed, Glue your lips together, and/or use some duct tape. And then refer to rule #2.
#2- Listen. You may have a point inside your head that's realllllllllly good. Like so good that it could be like candy. Or baked goods. Your point may altogether win out everyone else's point by a long shot. You may be thee most educated person in the room on a specific subject and you are just dying to get your chance to say what you have to say. But you must first listen. No one will really listen to you if you don't first listen to them. Because if your response comes and you have not paid attention first and listened, you may find that the words you so carefully put together in your head have no weight or importance at all to anyone else in the room because you clearly had no intention of giving credit to what anyone else wants to say. So just listen.
Listen and Silent contain the exact same letters....interesting.
#3- Then, when it's your turn, speak clearly. Emphasis on when it's your turn. When you interrupt someone, even during a light-hearted conversation, it's like you took a very large broom and you came a swingin' and by golly you smacked their soapbox right out from underneath them. By doing so, you may not realize it at first, but you lose your own soapbox, and so at that point--again, no one cares what you say. Interrupting is rude, not just because mama said so, but because it shows your lack of interest in not only what the other person is saying, but really, your lack of interest in that person.
So, there are only 3 rules. I try to follow them. There are many times I sit in silence because there is no room for another soapbox, or another podium, or a microphone. I'm happy to sit in silence, and there are many times I wish I would have just continued to sit in silence...but regretfully I opened my mouth too soon. I think of Mark Twain who said that it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're stupid, than it is to open it and confirm it (a rough paraphrase).
Don't we all want to be able to represent ourselves well? Explain our thoughts and feelings exactly, so that others can understand us and maybe we can understand them better? If we want that, we have to let others do the same. We have to seek understanding first, and then sharing our opinions can be worthwhile. Oftentimes, someone will make a comment and it immediately frustrates us. Why? Because we interpret it with our experiences, our understanding, and our perspective. This is too narrow of a view. We have to open our minds, hear what others say, and then make a decision. But can we ever really broaden our views? Just because we decide to agree with something we normally wouldn't does that mean our view broadened? I don't believe so. My thoughts are this, we only have our experiences, our understanding, and our perspective. And when we listen to others we can only then add to our own, but we can't literally take their perspective because it's in their brain mapped out the way they drew it. But what we can do is seek understanding, and love others. The word love can be a powerful word in every situation. When we truly love others, we let them represent themselves because that's what feels loving. That's what feels right, and our opinions,or our justifications for being right don't credit us the ability to take away someone else's opportunity to present themselves and/or effectively communicate.
I would rather let the other person talk. I prefer peace to confrontation. However, it is frustrating when others will not let me or anyone respond. By all means, I've done my fair share of interrupting, not truly listening, and setting up situations where others are forced to misrepresent themselves because I didn't let them do so correctly. I've learned that my favorite people to talk to are those who let me be me. So I try to do the same with others. That has never meant I am forced to agree. I just have to hope that they will try to understand me, and I'll try to understand them. And if both sides agree to disagree then my hope is that all is still well.
It's funny how I've left some conversations with a renewed thirst. It's that thirst, or hunger, for knowledge. These can be from awesome conversations--the ones where I leave feeling like I just want to know more, a lot more. Those conversations are so good. But sometimes I feel that thirst out of spite...I'm gonna learn so much more on that subject, you'll see then I'll really tell ya whats up...but that's a dumb reason.
Henry David Thoreau said, "Society is commonly too cheap. We meet at very short intervals, not having had time to acquire any new value for each other. We meet at meals three times a day, and give each other a new taste of that old musty cheese that we are. We have had to agree on a certain set of rules, called etiquette and politeness, to make this frequent meeting tolerable and that we need not come to open war. We meet at the post-office, and at the sociable, and about the fireside every night; we live thick and are in each other's way, and stumble over one another, and I think that we thus lose some respect for one another. Certainly less frequency would suffice for all important and hearty communications."
Haha I'll let you ponder that one and see how it relates or how it doesn't. I'm not tying this to a close very well, but I think I'm done. Bottom line, we must be better. We must love others first and foremost because it makes us better communicators. Education can do that to- as we open our minds for knowledge suddenly we see that people think differently than we do, and it's okay. We can still love them, and given the right opportunities maybe we can teach them. But the best communication also happens spirit to spirit. That's stronger than any sentence, any speech, and certainly any moment on a soapbox. Spiritual communication requires extra listening though, and that's hard to do. But we have to try, we have to listen and then speak when moved upon by the Spirit. The times I've walked away with regrets about opening my mouth, were often times when I ignored the spiritual prompting to shut up. So I'm working on it. As I hope we all do.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
Almost done and some good thoughts.
38 weeks. and 1 day. My favorite number is 4. However, at this time in my life I don't want to see anything with a 4 or a 0 in it, because I do not want to go another 2 weeks. I'll be glad if she comes tomorrow, 12-4-12. That'd be sweet. Cross your fingers.
I just have to say, its amazing how much pregnancy changes you. Over the course of the year, I have become a different person in so many ways. I can't yet even imagine how motherhood will change me.
But I know it will, and I know it will be for the better.
Before we got pregnant, and before we had decided to try doing so, I was kinda...unsatisfied. I just kept rehearsing in my mind why I wasn't good enough, or hadn't done enough with my life up until that point...(because I was so old...not) But I think to a point I had that mindset. Then the Lord made it clear we were to have a baby. And thus we are going to have a baby. And it's amazing how my mindset has completely changed. I still have dreams and goals that will help me in other ways to become a better person. For example, I don't think I'm done with school. Surprisingly, I enjoy it too much to be done. And who knows what else lies in store for me individually. But, my life as a whole is, and will be forever for someone else. I felt a little of this change when Colten and I got married, but I was more selfish then, (emphasis on more, I'm still working on that part) and I knew that my life would be lived with him and shared with him, and that our new journey was going to be forever---but I still had a strong sense of my own identity, and my own journey. Since becoming pregnant that journey and that identity are not gone, but they are not focused on me anymore. And it feels good. I have yet to see this little baby girl's face, but she is a part of me.
How amazing is that?
She is everything and more to me. And my heart honestly fills with gratitude, that my husband could give me such a precious gift. I don't quite know how to be a mom. In so many ways I'm just wingin' it. But my biggest hope, my biggest dream, and the goal of my lifetime is that the epitome of my success will have been motherhood. Because other than our individual ability to come unto Christ, and be perfected in Him, and our journeys to become like our Father in Heaven, does anything else matter? I mean seriously, our spiritual journeys, and our relationships with our spouses and children, does anything else hold that much weight or that much importance? I could list the hundreds of things we are supposed "to do" as Latter-Day-Saints. But if we lack the perspective in which our family comes first, then where have we gotten? Heavenly Father's work, and His glory is to bring to pass the eternal life of man. (Moses 1:39). His work, and His glory, is His family. Our family. (hence why temple work, family history work, and missionary work are all so extremely important). So, I too have now made it my work, and my glory, to teach this little girl all the good things. To help her become her very best self, and help her know her Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. That is what matters. So, if I never finish school, it's okay. If all I ever do in this life, is be a great mother, and a great wife, and by doing so serve my Father in Heaven, then I'll have done pretty good. If I can do a couple of things here and there for my friends and neighbors, that's great. But before anyone else, I will serve my Heavenly Father, and my family.
I have so many great examples around me. Amazing family members, amazing in-laws. I will tell ya this much, I'm no longer unsatisfied. I am so thrilled, and so excited to be a mom.
And now that I have shared thoughts as deep as the ocean itself, I really wish I would just go into labor.
And I keep hearing this word over and over, but I don't know what it means. Can you guys help me? I think it's spelled....patience?
I just have to say, its amazing how much pregnancy changes you. Over the course of the year, I have become a different person in so many ways. I can't yet even imagine how motherhood will change me.
But I know it will, and I know it will be for the better.
Before we got pregnant, and before we had decided to try doing so, I was kinda...unsatisfied. I just kept rehearsing in my mind why I wasn't good enough, or hadn't done enough with my life up until that point...(because I was so old...not) But I think to a point I had that mindset. Then the Lord made it clear we were to have a baby. And thus we are going to have a baby. And it's amazing how my mindset has completely changed. I still have dreams and goals that will help me in other ways to become a better person. For example, I don't think I'm done with school. Surprisingly, I enjoy it too much to be done. And who knows what else lies in store for me individually. But, my life as a whole is, and will be forever for someone else. I felt a little of this change when Colten and I got married, but I was more selfish then, (emphasis on more, I'm still working on that part) and I knew that my life would be lived with him and shared with him, and that our new journey was going to be forever---but I still had a strong sense of my own identity, and my own journey. Since becoming pregnant that journey and that identity are not gone, but they are not focused on me anymore. And it feels good. I have yet to see this little baby girl's face, but she is a part of me.
How amazing is that?
She is everything and more to me. And my heart honestly fills with gratitude, that my husband could give me such a precious gift. I don't quite know how to be a mom. In so many ways I'm just wingin' it. But my biggest hope, my biggest dream, and the goal of my lifetime is that the epitome of my success will have been motherhood. Because other than our individual ability to come unto Christ, and be perfected in Him, and our journeys to become like our Father in Heaven, does anything else matter? I mean seriously, our spiritual journeys, and our relationships with our spouses and children, does anything else hold that much weight or that much importance? I could list the hundreds of things we are supposed "to do" as Latter-Day-Saints. But if we lack the perspective in which our family comes first, then where have we gotten? Heavenly Father's work, and His glory is to bring to pass the eternal life of man. (Moses 1:39). His work, and His glory, is His family. Our family. (hence why temple work, family history work, and missionary work are all so extremely important). So, I too have now made it my work, and my glory, to teach this little girl all the good things. To help her become her very best self, and help her know her Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. That is what matters. So, if I never finish school, it's okay. If all I ever do in this life, is be a great mother, and a great wife, and by doing so serve my Father in Heaven, then I'll have done pretty good. If I can do a couple of things here and there for my friends and neighbors, that's great. But before anyone else, I will serve my Heavenly Father, and my family.
I have so many great examples around me. Amazing family members, amazing in-laws. I will tell ya this much, I'm no longer unsatisfied. I am so thrilled, and so excited to be a mom.
And now that I have shared thoughts as deep as the ocean itself, I really wish I would just go into labor.
And I keep hearing this word over and over, but I don't know what it means. Can you guys help me? I think it's spelled....patience?
Thursday, November 29, 2012
1 part funny. 2 parts serious.
Ok, so I stopped doing the dishes, mid-dishes, to sit and write this. So I think it's funny. If you don't thats ok. I'll only dislike you for a day. or two. just kidding.
This was my conversation with the cashier today.
She holds up the little newborn sleeping outfit (that I was buying because I wasn't sure I have enough clothes for a newborn, and because it was cheap, and cute....) and she says
"Oh this is cute"
Me: "Thanks, I thought so too"
"Except it has a ruffle" ......
Awkward pause....(in my head I said, "Is she for real right now?")
Then she jumped in with, "i have all boys"
I awkwardly laugh and say "oh"
She then says, that could work for a boy or a girl except for that it has a ruffle.
I awkwardly agree, but thought to myself, I personally wouldn't choose to dress my boys in leopard print, but I guess that could just be me................
(it's literally all leopard print, not just a little)
Oh well, no biggie, she's still nice right?
Then, we awkwardly talk about my pregnancy and I say how I'm ready to be done being pregnant and excited to have baby.
She then responds, "Yep, looks like your getting all ready! You've got your nursing bras!"
Why yes, ma'am I do in fact have them now, thank you for letting everyone else in line know too. Maybe you could tell them what size I am, or even show them in case they're wondering what brand to buy next when they need nursing bras.
Pretty sure that no matter what kind of bra a woman is buying, a cashier isn't supposed to say anything about it. They're not supposed to comment on any form of underwear. Just sayin.
On a more serious note, it looks like a C-section is in my future. I have not lost all hope, I have a small feeling she could turn right before the excitement begins. But either way, I won't be getting my out-of-hospital birth. And my midwife will only get to be my doula which means she won't catch the baby but she can at least be there through the whole birth. If it's a C-section though, she will have just been my prenatal care person. Which I have still very much enjoyed, I love that I made every appointment through her, I had her home phone, cellphone, and email, and she taught classes once a month. She is awesome.
I have come to terms with either one. I'm still just so excited to bring this baby girl into the world that I don't care anymore how she comes, just as long as it's the best option for her. She is still chillin on her bum, and thats ok. If she turns, thats ok. I just want something to happen. I'm almost 38 weeks. And I don't think being pregnant the last few weeks is very fun. So,
baby girl, we'd like to meet you, come on down! Preferrably head first--but if thats too scary mama understands!
This was my conversation with the cashier today.
She holds up the little newborn sleeping outfit (that I was buying because I wasn't sure I have enough clothes for a newborn, and because it was cheap, and cute....) and she says
"Oh this is cute"
Me: "Thanks, I thought so too"
"Except it has a ruffle" ......
Awkward pause....(in my head I said, "Is she for real right now?")
Then she jumped in with, "i have all boys"
I awkwardly laugh and say "oh"
She then says, that could work for a boy or a girl except for that it has a ruffle.
I awkwardly agree, but thought to myself, I personally wouldn't choose to dress my boys in leopard print, but I guess that could just be me................
(it's literally all leopard print, not just a little)
Oh well, no biggie, she's still nice right?
Then, we awkwardly talk about my pregnancy and I say how I'm ready to be done being pregnant and excited to have baby.
She then responds, "Yep, looks like your getting all ready! You've got your nursing bras!"
Why yes, ma'am I do in fact have them now, thank you for letting everyone else in line know too. Maybe you could tell them what size I am, or even show them in case they're wondering what brand to buy next when they need nursing bras.
Pretty sure that no matter what kind of bra a woman is buying, a cashier isn't supposed to say anything about it. They're not supposed to comment on any form of underwear. Just sayin.
On a more serious note, it looks like a C-section is in my future. I have not lost all hope, I have a small feeling she could turn right before the excitement begins. But either way, I won't be getting my out-of-hospital birth. And my midwife will only get to be my doula which means she won't catch the baby but she can at least be there through the whole birth. If it's a C-section though, she will have just been my prenatal care person. Which I have still very much enjoyed, I love that I made every appointment through her, I had her home phone, cellphone, and email, and she taught classes once a month. She is awesome.
I have come to terms with either one. I'm still just so excited to bring this baby girl into the world that I don't care anymore how she comes, just as long as it's the best option for her. She is still chillin on her bum, and thats ok. If she turns, thats ok. I just want something to happen. I'm almost 38 weeks. And I don't think being pregnant the last few weeks is very fun. So,
baby girl, we'd like to meet you, come on down! Preferrably head first--but if thats too scary mama understands!
Monday, November 5, 2012
Pregnancy
I can handle all of the symptoms I have right now. They are better than nausea. BUT...
-I wouldn't mind going a whole night without having to get up to pee.
-I do not know why, but my body wants to wake up at 530 AM. I'd be okay just sleeping right through that time frame again...although I know sleeping I said goodbye to voluntarily--and a long time ago---clear back in the springtime.
-I wouldn't mind being able to slouch comfortably again. Working at a desk and typing while trying to lean back in your chair...not easy.
-I am now to the stage where tummy has no room. I want to eat, but yet have no room. I am so excited to have normal eating habits again............one day..........
-Eating automatically affects my breathing now. One bite too much means gasping for air.
-I am excited to walk up the stairs at work without having to catch my breath for what feels like 20 minutes after reaching the top.
-More than anything else, I want this sweet, wonderful baby girl to turn. I want her to be adventurous and think to herself "Hmmm, I think it'd be fun to go HEADFIRST!" It's life's first adventure if you think about it.
-I wouldn't mind going a whole night without having to get up to pee.
-I do not know why, but my body wants to wake up at 530 AM. I'd be okay just sleeping right through that time frame again...although I know sleeping I said goodbye to voluntarily--and a long time ago---clear back in the springtime.
-I wouldn't mind being able to slouch comfortably again. Working at a desk and typing while trying to lean back in your chair...not easy.
-I am now to the stage where tummy has no room. I want to eat, but yet have no room. I am so excited to have normal eating habits again............one day..........
-Eating automatically affects my breathing now. One bite too much means gasping for air.
-I am excited to walk up the stairs at work without having to catch my breath for what feels like 20 minutes after reaching the top.
-More than anything else, I want this sweet, wonderful baby girl to turn. I want her to be adventurous and think to herself "Hmmm, I think it'd be fun to go HEADFIRST!" It's life's first adventure if you think about it.
Friday, November 2, 2012
No sense in barkin' at what ya can't see.
A couple nights ago, I was sitting inside our house eating a bowl of cereal when I heard a dog barking in our front yard. I knew Colten had just gotten home, but I didn't think it was Broni behind the barking because it sounded like a big dog. I went outside to check and found that our little puppy must be hitting puberty because it was him! I also found that he was going haywire over a bucket. Yes folks, a bucket. When I turned on the porch light and called to him he settled right down and ran over to me.
This morning, as I was letting him out to do his...morning business... when he got done he came to me and I told him how wonderful of a puppy was. Then we heard some children playing in the distance and he whipped around and did a little head-shake-mini-aggressive-bark-thing. (I think he's finding some aggression from being around my mom's Dachsund who acts like a complete turd everytime someone knocks on the door) (we will be teaching Broni the proper way to respond)... Anyway, I got up and told him to come in the house and in my mind I thought, "No sense in barkin' at what ya can't see." And then it hit me, just how full of wisdom that advice for a dog really is.
I again was caught up in a moment where it's like the Lord put a label on the lessons being learned in my life. He finally summed it up this morning just in that little phrase. Think about it folks, do we bark at things we can't see? I hope we don't actually bark, but ya know, figuratively speaking, don't we all jump to conclusions now and again, and choose a side when we never really saw the other one?
In recent years, meaning like, age 20 ish, I think I got to a point of knowing everything. Especially at work. I found every problem I could find with the business and I did my share of complaining. Then things switched up on me, management changed, and boy if I could only tell you how many times I wish even still that I could take back every complaint I ever found before. Now my job has found its way back to moving forward again, and I like my job, I like my fellow employees, and my boss. Not a single one of them are perfect. And thank goodness, because neither am I.
I also believe that in my family relationships, I was more judgemental. (maybe a problem engrained in my DNA, can have good side effects, but can also be very negative) I then took classes by one of the coolest men on the planet who has a bit of a hippi look, but I still wish I could sit and listen for 2 hours once a week--and learn of his wisdom. I've been taught things about relationships from the church my whole life. But it took a nonmember to teach me in another way- a way that made sense to me--how to be a good person, specifically in relationships with family and close friends. He helped me really understand that most of the time, if there's a problem... it's probably me. And that if I want a problem fixed in a relationship, I can't just tell someone else how to be better or what to do, I have to start with me, because I'm the only one who can control any real changing. So I changed. I started to see family members and friends with a different set of eyes. I started to see them better as children of God. I stopped resisting and I sincerely changed inside. I still have a long way to go- but I've already seen how because I changed, others can change. And maybe they were always good- I just couldn't see it. yep, probably so.
So, as other life events have occurred since those happenings, and since I've been pregnant, (thus making me more sensitive) it all wraps up into learning that major lesson. There's NO SENSE IN BARKIN AT WHAT YA CAN'T SEE. 99% of the time you won't know what the other person is dealing with. Even if they sit down and y'all have a good, deep, well-communicated discussion about a problem in the relationship, you'll still never be able to jump into their mind, see and feel their true perspective, and understand them right down to the core. Only Heavenly Father understands us like that. He knows every experience we've had. He knows every lie we've told, and every good deed gone unnoticed. He knows how our life's events shape our understanding and He understands why we choose the choices we make. Thank goodness that He does. And thank goodness His Son understands all the hurt, pain, and brokenness we all feel at some point or another.
Last summer, my hubby and I were swimming up at his parent's pool. A bunch of our nieces and nephews were there, and clash, bang, boom, however it happened one of the little girls got hurt. She got out and went to her own corner and just cried. This happened more than once that particular day, and each time I went over to console and encourage her to get back in and play. My husband's first response was that I was teaching her to be a baby. His opinion at the time was that she was doing it on purpose for attention. On our way home, I actually had some good advice that I should've applied more throughout my life but sometimes we even forget our own advice...I said, "But ya know what? She was crying. And whether it was for attention or not we won't know. But she was crying. She was showing us that in some way she was hurting. Maybe it was that she wanted attention! Maybe it was that she wasn't really physically hurting at all! But my efforts to console still worked whether it was for physical or emotional pain she was dealing with. And that's all I care about" He agreed...:) Cuz I have an awesome husband who listens very well and teaches me life lessons all the time too.
Isn't that the truth though? I hear people (including myself) accusing "so&so" of not really being in pain. Accusing them of maybe being a hypochondriac. Accusing them of the same thing- attention seeking. And the truth is, maybe that applies for some people. But aren't they still calling out for help? Aren't they still telling the world that they are in pain? Even if it's technically not actually physical? Yes! And so why should we withhold our love because we think we know all and they deserve to be ignored since they're just attention-seeking. I chose at that moment last summer, to not assume that people were lying about their pain level. I chose to not take on that judgment because it's too big for me to take. I'll let Heavenly Father judge and I'll just keep trying to console. Again, this is a life lesson I'm still working on, but one that impacted me for good.
I could go on forever about how this applies to our lives. But I won't. I hope I summed up my point so i can learn from it again. There's no sense in barkin' at what ya can't see. There's no point in reacting badly to things we don't understand, or making hard-fast judgments on people when we'll never really know what's on the inside. If we could see all, as our Heavenly Father does, then maybe we'd have a valid point to make regarding someone else and their imperfections. But are any of us ready for that? No. It takes more than a lifetime to become like our Heavenly Father. We have to learn from him first, and when we have finally become like Him, and when we have the Savior right there with us teaching us the way, I think our judgments would be a lot different than what they are now. So don't waste the energy barking just yet, obtain His word first--and then you can start teaching it. I sure thank my Heavenly Father for still trying to teach me even though I fail so often and don't always grow the way I ought to from the lessons taught. Hopefully I can use this one and try to move forward and be better.
This morning, as I was letting him out to do his...morning business... when he got done he came to me and I told him how wonderful of a puppy was. Then we heard some children playing in the distance and he whipped around and did a little head-shake-mini-aggressive-bark-thing. (I think he's finding some aggression from being around my mom's Dachsund who acts like a complete turd everytime someone knocks on the door) (we will be teaching Broni the proper way to respond)... Anyway, I got up and told him to come in the house and in my mind I thought, "No sense in barkin' at what ya can't see." And then it hit me, just how full of wisdom that advice for a dog really is.
I again was caught up in a moment where it's like the Lord put a label on the lessons being learned in my life. He finally summed it up this morning just in that little phrase. Think about it folks, do we bark at things we can't see? I hope we don't actually bark, but ya know, figuratively speaking, don't we all jump to conclusions now and again, and choose a side when we never really saw the other one?
In recent years, meaning like, age 20 ish, I think I got to a point of knowing everything. Especially at work. I found every problem I could find with the business and I did my share of complaining. Then things switched up on me, management changed, and boy if I could only tell you how many times I wish even still that I could take back every complaint I ever found before. Now my job has found its way back to moving forward again, and I like my job, I like my fellow employees, and my boss. Not a single one of them are perfect. And thank goodness, because neither am I.
I also believe that in my family relationships, I was more judgemental. (maybe a problem engrained in my DNA, can have good side effects, but can also be very negative) I then took classes by one of the coolest men on the planet who has a bit of a hippi look, but I still wish I could sit and listen for 2 hours once a week--and learn of his wisdom. I've been taught things about relationships from the church my whole life. But it took a nonmember to teach me in another way- a way that made sense to me--how to be a good person, specifically in relationships with family and close friends. He helped me really understand that most of the time, if there's a problem... it's probably me. And that if I want a problem fixed in a relationship, I can't just tell someone else how to be better or what to do, I have to start with me, because I'm the only one who can control any real changing. So I changed. I started to see family members and friends with a different set of eyes. I started to see them better as children of God. I stopped resisting and I sincerely changed inside. I still have a long way to go- but I've already seen how because I changed, others can change. And maybe they were always good- I just couldn't see it. yep, probably so.
So, as other life events have occurred since those happenings, and since I've been pregnant, (thus making me more sensitive) it all wraps up into learning that major lesson. There's NO SENSE IN BARKIN AT WHAT YA CAN'T SEE. 99% of the time you won't know what the other person is dealing with. Even if they sit down and y'all have a good, deep, well-communicated discussion about a problem in the relationship, you'll still never be able to jump into their mind, see and feel their true perspective, and understand them right down to the core. Only Heavenly Father understands us like that. He knows every experience we've had. He knows every lie we've told, and every good deed gone unnoticed. He knows how our life's events shape our understanding and He understands why we choose the choices we make. Thank goodness that He does. And thank goodness His Son understands all the hurt, pain, and brokenness we all feel at some point or another.
Last summer, my hubby and I were swimming up at his parent's pool. A bunch of our nieces and nephews were there, and clash, bang, boom, however it happened one of the little girls got hurt. She got out and went to her own corner and just cried. This happened more than once that particular day, and each time I went over to console and encourage her to get back in and play. My husband's first response was that I was teaching her to be a baby. His opinion at the time was that she was doing it on purpose for attention. On our way home, I actually had some good advice that I should've applied more throughout my life but sometimes we even forget our own advice...I said, "But ya know what? She was crying. And whether it was for attention or not we won't know. But she was crying. She was showing us that in some way she was hurting. Maybe it was that she wanted attention! Maybe it was that she wasn't really physically hurting at all! But my efforts to console still worked whether it was for physical or emotional pain she was dealing with. And that's all I care about" He agreed...:) Cuz I have an awesome husband who listens very well and teaches me life lessons all the time too.
Isn't that the truth though? I hear people (including myself) accusing "so&so" of not really being in pain. Accusing them of maybe being a hypochondriac. Accusing them of the same thing- attention seeking. And the truth is, maybe that applies for some people. But aren't they still calling out for help? Aren't they still telling the world that they are in pain? Even if it's technically not actually physical? Yes! And so why should we withhold our love because we think we know all and they deserve to be ignored since they're just attention-seeking. I chose at that moment last summer, to not assume that people were lying about their pain level. I chose to not take on that judgment because it's too big for me to take. I'll let Heavenly Father judge and I'll just keep trying to console. Again, this is a life lesson I'm still working on, but one that impacted me for good.
I could go on forever about how this applies to our lives. But I won't. I hope I summed up my point so i can learn from it again. There's no sense in barkin' at what ya can't see. There's no point in reacting badly to things we don't understand, or making hard-fast judgments on people when we'll never really know what's on the inside. If we could see all, as our Heavenly Father does, then maybe we'd have a valid point to make regarding someone else and their imperfections. But are any of us ready for that? No. It takes more than a lifetime to become like our Heavenly Father. We have to learn from him first, and when we have finally become like Him, and when we have the Savior right there with us teaching us the way, I think our judgments would be a lot different than what they are now. So don't waste the energy barking just yet, obtain His word first--and then you can start teaching it. I sure thank my Heavenly Father for still trying to teach me even though I fail so often and don't always grow the way I ought to from the lessons taught. Hopefully I can use this one and try to move forward and be better.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Bad News Week.
Last week I should've moved to Tahiti, and left someone else to deal with what I experienced. But, then I guess the Lord would've given me other experiences to teach me similar lessons...so just as long as I don't have a repeat that'll be great.
On Monday, found out I had pink eye. Got a sore throat within a few hours, and had a fever throughout that night and barely slept. Went to InstaCare on Tuesday, found out I had strep throat. Tuesday night, Broni got a crack in one of his leg bones, and long story short, we spent a few hours at the Emergency Vet. (many people would call us crazy for doing that, but my motherly instincts were not about to allow my puppy to cry all through the night just to see if he'd be better in the morning, so we did what was best for him)
So, then I couldn't go to work, because of strep. So then I spent this whole week feeling a bit like a bum, but more like "why isn't my body better yet" and enjoying every moment...........sarcasm.
Every night was filled with no sleep, baths, attempts to breathe, and wishing I was asleep.
I had an ultrasound on Thursday, and I scheduled it about a month ago. I didn't need another one, but for some reason I kept feeling like I needed to make sure everything was okay in there. I was so glad I scheduled it because after finding out I had strep I REALLY wanted to make sure baby girl was okay. Good news is that she is perfectly healthy. Our ultrasound tech (who i really like--older man covered in tattoos and so chill and because he works privately now he can tell you whats wrong instead of having to wait for a doctor's permission) said she has a "beautiful spine" a "heart that has everything right in place" and "big feet".... I thought the big feet comment was weird seeing as how Colten and I both have small feet and I still shop in the kids department for footwear. So I have noooo idea where that came from.
Bad news: Baby girl is breech.
Worst case scenario: she stays breech and I get the complete opposite birthing experience from everything I have planned and dreamed of--a C-section. This would be heartbreaking. I don't want to be on any form of medication when delivering, and so going in for surgery is kindof an obvious no thanks. I mean yes, I can't say totally that the no pain thing would be horrible, but the extensive pain from healing afterward is also what I did not want. I do not want my head behind a tarp in an operating room knowing that someone is cutting me open, and then bringing baby around the tarp so I can see her, but then taking her away. Seriously the idea just makes me want to cry...for a really long time. I was a C-section baby, and I don't feel less bonded with my mom, or like I missed out in any way since my head didn't get shoved down a birth canal. But the more I study natural birth, the more I want that for me and my baby. And I want my baby to come into this world NOT by C-section.
However: #1: I want my baby to be safe. If that means for me to sacrifice a bit more, by sacrificing the birth that I want, so that she can come here safely, then obviously that is what I choose.
However #2: I still have about 4-6 weeks before it becomes crunch time. Thus she has plenty of time to decide to be a righteous baby and turn instead of being rebellious and sitting on my bladder.
However #3: I can't blame her too much, I didn't want to sit on my head either. Nor did I want my head pushed through a pelvis. I was rebellious. I was breech. Can I be angry with my daughter for wanting the same thing? No....
I knew I needed an ultrasound. Not that my midwife wouldn't have noticed the same thing, but I think its good that my mind wander to the real possibility of not having the birth go exactly how I planned. That way if it doesn't, it'll be less of a hit. I will never want a C-section. I don't know if anyone does though? Maybe they do. But ultimately I can only do so much to try to get baby girl to turn, and if she really doesn't want to I'll have to get her here the safest way possible.
On another note, I think I may delete this blog. I think maybe i'll finish out this year, essentially to the birth of baby girl, and then I'm gonna let the mysteries of life and all of our adventures stay in our family. It's been a long time comin... but yeah, I think that's what I want to do.
On Monday, found out I had pink eye. Got a sore throat within a few hours, and had a fever throughout that night and barely slept. Went to InstaCare on Tuesday, found out I had strep throat. Tuesday night, Broni got a crack in one of his leg bones, and long story short, we spent a few hours at the Emergency Vet. (many people would call us crazy for doing that, but my motherly instincts were not about to allow my puppy to cry all through the night just to see if he'd be better in the morning, so we did what was best for him)
So, then I couldn't go to work, because of strep. So then I spent this whole week feeling a bit like a bum, but more like "why isn't my body better yet" and enjoying every moment...........sarcasm.
Every night was filled with no sleep, baths, attempts to breathe, and wishing I was asleep.
I had an ultrasound on Thursday, and I scheduled it about a month ago. I didn't need another one, but for some reason I kept feeling like I needed to make sure everything was okay in there. I was so glad I scheduled it because after finding out I had strep I REALLY wanted to make sure baby girl was okay. Good news is that she is perfectly healthy. Our ultrasound tech (who i really like--older man covered in tattoos and so chill and because he works privately now he can tell you whats wrong instead of having to wait for a doctor's permission) said she has a "beautiful spine" a "heart that has everything right in place" and "big feet".... I thought the big feet comment was weird seeing as how Colten and I both have small feet and I still shop in the kids department for footwear. So I have noooo idea where that came from.
Bad news: Baby girl is breech.
Worst case scenario: she stays breech and I get the complete opposite birthing experience from everything I have planned and dreamed of--a C-section. This would be heartbreaking. I don't want to be on any form of medication when delivering, and so going in for surgery is kindof an obvious no thanks. I mean yes, I can't say totally that the no pain thing would be horrible, but the extensive pain from healing afterward is also what I did not want. I do not want my head behind a tarp in an operating room knowing that someone is cutting me open, and then bringing baby around the tarp so I can see her, but then taking her away. Seriously the idea just makes me want to cry...for a really long time. I was a C-section baby, and I don't feel less bonded with my mom, or like I missed out in any way since my head didn't get shoved down a birth canal. But the more I study natural birth, the more I want that for me and my baby. And I want my baby to come into this world NOT by C-section.
However: #1: I want my baby to be safe. If that means for me to sacrifice a bit more, by sacrificing the birth that I want, so that she can come here safely, then obviously that is what I choose.
However #2: I still have about 4-6 weeks before it becomes crunch time. Thus she has plenty of time to decide to be a righteous baby and turn instead of being rebellious and sitting on my bladder.
However #3: I can't blame her too much, I didn't want to sit on my head either. Nor did I want my head pushed through a pelvis. I was rebellious. I was breech. Can I be angry with my daughter for wanting the same thing? No....
I knew I needed an ultrasound. Not that my midwife wouldn't have noticed the same thing, but I think its good that my mind wander to the real possibility of not having the birth go exactly how I planned. That way if it doesn't, it'll be less of a hit. I will never want a C-section. I don't know if anyone does though? Maybe they do. But ultimately I can only do so much to try to get baby girl to turn, and if she really doesn't want to I'll have to get her here the safest way possible.
On another note, I think I may delete this blog. I think maybe i'll finish out this year, essentially to the birth of baby girl, and then I'm gonna let the mysteries of life and all of our adventures stay in our family. It's been a long time comin... but yeah, I think that's what I want to do.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Sales Tactics
I hate that the girl at Subway was trained well. I ordered a foot-long sandwich because I'm pregnant and constantly need large amounts of food. And although I was not planning on getting anything else, she just had to ask,
"Any cookies, chips, or drinks to go with this tonight?"
My thoughts: Nooooooo, but since you just had to say the word cookie, and you happen to have them conveniently displayed right in front of me right next to the register....and because I know how amazing Subway cookies can taste...and because you said the word cookie............................
What I said: "Yes, a chocolate chip cookie please"
Dangit.
Finally
We picked a name, but we're NOT telling anyone just yet. I don't want anyone's opinion. Colten came up with it, I liked it. It's actually a name I had to double check with my sister on, because she wanted it for her baby girl one day, but that day may be far away, and so for some reason it's seeming to fit. We still haven't figured out a middle name 100% but we've got ideas. :) Hopefully this one will totally stick.
Friday, September 21, 2012
I got bangs. Songs. Pregnancy.
But I'm not taking a picture. Sorry. I would feel too cheesy. That's just me though. I like it when people change their hair and take pictures and show everyone. But not me. Then again, I am a different sort.
I really like them. Weird huh. I have gotten straight across bangs once or twice before in my life, but didn't feel like they worked. Now that I'm prego, ANYTHING, will work. Anything will make me feel a smidge cuter. Cuz I feel kindof....not myself. My body is not my own, what can I say? Then again I guess it never has been huh....deep meaning there if you got it.
Colten likes the bangs. He even said he thinks he has a new love affair going on for me. I pulled them back to wash my face and his surprised look accompanied, "THERE SHE IS! That's the Sammy I've been looking at since I've been home! That's so weird" LOL. I love my husband. forever and ever amen. I can tell he genuinely likes them so it helps me like them and thus this bang experience has been better. (...that phrase is awkward...i'm leaving it)
BEWARE. I'm telling you this in an all-seriousness sort of way, even though what I'm about to warn you about will lead you all to directly disobey and go find out what I'm talking about. BUT I'll still try anyway.
There is a new song by Taylor Swift called, "Ronan" If you want to bawl your eyes out for a long time, then go listen to it. If you would rather not cry and emotionally reconnect yourself to the beauty of motherhood and all of its preciousness and connectedness to the beauty of life and how short it can be, then be careful when you listen to any country station because this song will come out of nowhere and getcha. It'll getcha good.
It's pretty much in the same realm of Reba McEntire's "If I Had Only Known"...also gets me everytime, but yet I still find myself purposely searching for it on youtube. It's a beautiful song.
Well, my back hurts. My stomach hurts (generally, but not every second of the day). My pelvis hurts. I'm tired. I'm always hungry. AND basically at only 28 weeks, I'm feeling a little like--okay pregnancy no fun anymore. But, I want this little girl to stay in as long as she needs to so she's healthy, happy, etc. But pregnancy is just hard in general I decided. Colten said, "doesn't sound like you're gonna be wantin' to get pregnant a whole lot" Sure does sound like it. But then some days I wanna have a house full of children. BUT Most nights I have to walk to the bathroom at all hours of the night hunched over with crazy hair and a look on my face that screams, what happened to me? where is the body I spent the first 21 years of my life in? why do I have to go to the bathroom again? And why is sleep not making my back feel better?
(side note) And then my next thought is always: Oh ya, gotta let puppy out, if i have restroom needs he probably does to...And then I go stand in the cold grass while puppy does his thing.
Ok, Ok. I will pull back the drama and sarcasm. I am glad I'm pregnant. I love this baby more than anything in the world. I never thought I'd say this but, I want to get up all hours of the night with this baby girl. I want to change her diapers, and take care of her. All of those things that I've heard so many say they are not ready for--I'm ready for. Because I have a real baby inside of me whom I love and adore and will continue sacrificing for. My pregnancy has not been near as bad as what many women have experienced. And the truth is, there are still lots of times when I think, I could do this again. We will see how I feel after birth. :) haha.
A word on that too---I'm not scared of labor. I don't want to be either because if I am then that would make going through it naturally much harder. I have never felt contractions, and so I have nothing to relate and psych myself out over. I don't want to be naive either, I know it will all hurt and it will be hard. However, I have been blessed to hear many stories and be given great advice that has guided my thoughts in a positive direction. My body was made to do this. I can do it. Just because I've never done it before does not make it impossible. My sister had a dream that my labor and delivery went smoothly (gracias for that information cuz it added more positive thoughts to my thinking). My mom also had a dream about my labor and delivery---she has always been famous for her honesty---and she said when it got really hard I wanted it all to stop and pretty much had a freak out so she had to leave the room... thanks for that info mom:) haha. I'm still not scared though. I'm kindof excited. I want to work through it, and really have this baby. (Who still doesn't have a name...)
I really like them. Weird huh. I have gotten straight across bangs once or twice before in my life, but didn't feel like they worked. Now that I'm prego, ANYTHING, will work. Anything will make me feel a smidge cuter. Cuz I feel kindof....not myself. My body is not my own, what can I say? Then again I guess it never has been huh....deep meaning there if you got it.
Colten likes the bangs. He even said he thinks he has a new love affair going on for me. I pulled them back to wash my face and his surprised look accompanied, "THERE SHE IS! That's the Sammy I've been looking at since I've been home! That's so weird" LOL. I love my husband. forever and ever amen. I can tell he genuinely likes them so it helps me like them and thus this bang experience has been better. (...that phrase is awkward...i'm leaving it)
BEWARE. I'm telling you this in an all-seriousness sort of way, even though what I'm about to warn you about will lead you all to directly disobey and go find out what I'm talking about. BUT I'll still try anyway.
There is a new song by Taylor Swift called, "Ronan" If you want to bawl your eyes out for a long time, then go listen to it. If you would rather not cry and emotionally reconnect yourself to the beauty of motherhood and all of its preciousness and connectedness to the beauty of life and how short it can be, then be careful when you listen to any country station because this song will come out of nowhere and getcha. It'll getcha good.
It's pretty much in the same realm of Reba McEntire's "If I Had Only Known"...also gets me everytime, but yet I still find myself purposely searching for it on youtube. It's a beautiful song.
Well, my back hurts. My stomach hurts (generally, but not every second of the day). My pelvis hurts. I'm tired. I'm always hungry. AND basically at only 28 weeks, I'm feeling a little like--okay pregnancy no fun anymore. But, I want this little girl to stay in as long as she needs to so she's healthy, happy, etc. But pregnancy is just hard in general I decided. Colten said, "doesn't sound like you're gonna be wantin' to get pregnant a whole lot" Sure does sound like it. But then some days I wanna have a house full of children. BUT Most nights I have to walk to the bathroom at all hours of the night hunched over with crazy hair and a look on my face that screams, what happened to me? where is the body I spent the first 21 years of my life in? why do I have to go to the bathroom again? And why is sleep not making my back feel better?
(side note) And then my next thought is always: Oh ya, gotta let puppy out, if i have restroom needs he probably does to...And then I go stand in the cold grass while puppy does his thing.
Ok, Ok. I will pull back the drama and sarcasm. I am glad I'm pregnant. I love this baby more than anything in the world. I never thought I'd say this but, I want to get up all hours of the night with this baby girl. I want to change her diapers, and take care of her. All of those things that I've heard so many say they are not ready for--I'm ready for. Because I have a real baby inside of me whom I love and adore and will continue sacrificing for. My pregnancy has not been near as bad as what many women have experienced. And the truth is, there are still lots of times when I think, I could do this again. We will see how I feel after birth. :) haha.
A word on that too---I'm not scared of labor. I don't want to be either because if I am then that would make going through it naturally much harder. I have never felt contractions, and so I have nothing to relate and psych myself out over. I don't want to be naive either, I know it will all hurt and it will be hard. However, I have been blessed to hear many stories and be given great advice that has guided my thoughts in a positive direction. My body was made to do this. I can do it. Just because I've never done it before does not make it impossible. My sister had a dream that my labor and delivery went smoothly (gracias for that information cuz it added more positive thoughts to my thinking). My mom also had a dream about my labor and delivery---she has always been famous for her honesty---and she said when it got really hard I wanted it all to stop and pretty much had a freak out so she had to leave the room... thanks for that info mom:) haha. I'm still not scared though. I'm kindof excited. I want to work through it, and really have this baby. (Who still doesn't have a name...)
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Teenage Boy Brilliance
When I asked my co-workers for help on deciding on a name, this is what they came up with:
La-Ka
The dash is not silent. Thus, pronounced, La Dash Ka.
Awesome.
The next one they came up with:
Stacie.
Why?
So that I could be "stacie's mom."
I hated that song. Boys are weird.
The next one they came up with:
Stacie.
Why?
So that I could be "stacie's mom."
I hated that song. Boys are weird.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
We will forever miss him.
Im not posting a picture because it hurts too much to look at.
I don't know that everyone will understand this post, but those who do might have to grab a tissue.
In December last year we added Kojo to our family. He was our first dog, but also the first animal we had to take care of. He was mine and Colten's. He was our buddy, and we loved him very much. He learned so fast and quickly became part of our everyday routine. He bonded with each of us in different ways. I was the cuddler, but Colten was the one he loved to go play with and work with. I planned on him being our family dog for at least 10 years. Ever since I remember, our family has had a dog. Most of the time it was more than one. I've loved and lost dogs growing up, but Kojo was different. He was mine. He was ours. To so many people it might seem dumb to talk about a dog as someone so special--but not to us. There's no way to explain what it feels like to form a relationship with an animal and really count them as part of your family. He was just so special.
Last week, Colten and Kojo and a couple of our nephews went up to Kolob to cut some wood for the winter. I wanted to go, and could have, but for some reason just wasn't feeling up to it. When the boys were just finishing up loading the rest of the wood and the chainsaw into the truck, Colten saw Kojo start heading back to the truck. At that moment, he also saw a truck coming down the dirt road and before Colten could say anything or even knew what to say the accident happened. Kojo was killed instantly.
Colten said he just walked over to Kojo, sat on the ground, and couldn't say a word. The man driving the truck had 3 dogs in the back of his truck--obviously a dog lover. He felt terrible. He tried to help and apologize but Colten said he couldn't talk. So he didn't. He didn't say one word. The man's wife gave Colten a sheet to wrap Kojo in, and Colten did so and put him in the truck and drove away. They were kind people, I feel bad Colten didn't say anything, but I think they probably understood. Colten buried Kojo up by our cabin, and drove home. When he came home, he just showed me Kojo's collar. He couldn't talk through his tears for about a half hour so I tried to console him not knowing what exactly had happened. He was finally able to tell me, and eventually I lost it. Colten's family kept showing up throughout the day showing their love and concern. They just sat with us, and that helped. I didn't tell my family till the next day cuz I just couldn't text it without crying more. I did tell my parents right after it all happened, and I think my mom cried as hard as we did.
I just know this will come across as so weird to some people. But again, it's so hard to explain. We just loved that dog so much, and we will forever miss him.
You wouldn't believe it, but we already have a new puppy. Colten has decided he can't live without a dog. I can't either, but I would've liked to wait longer. But, we happened to hear about some puppies that were australian shepherd, border collie, blue heeler mixes. Kojo was a border collie so we went and checked them out. There was one boy left when we got there, and we brought him home. His name is Broni, which in Twi means white. He's mostly white but his face has black and brown, and he's got little black spots and red spots all over his body. We love our new puppy, but puppies are not very fun for me.They're hard work. But we're hopeful that he will become a good dog like Kojo, but he will never replace Kojo. Broni is just our new adventure, our new member of the family, with his own crazy personality. He will hopefully be potty trained before baby gets here, and so I'm not too worried about having a baby and a puppy. I actually think it will be cool to watch our little girl grow up with Broni. I'm sure she will learn to love dogs as much as Colten and I do. (It's funny though, Colten never wanted a dog in the first place, but he has learned just how great they can be, and I love how loving he is towards them). Kojo was so great, and we will always love him.
In other news, I don't like the name Adelaide anymore. I always have to repeat myself when I tell people what it is. And no one can quite remember it. So the name search is on again. Why are girls names so hard for me? I can't believe weve only got 3 months left. That is so mind-boggling. I finished her bassinet, some fabric boxes for above her crib (that we don't have yet), and my mom bought me a diaper bag. It's cute I like it. Good ole walmart. I ordered her some basics for clothing online too just so that I'd feel a little more prepared in case we don't get certain things at showers. It's a little overwhelming to thing how life will be when she gets here, but we are excited for the changes. The reality of labor and birth are hitting me a little more. I can't say that I'm scared though. I think I'm nervous, maybe apprehensive, but I've never felt it, so I don't know what I could be scared of when I don't know how it will be for me. I know I'm glad I'm doing it with a midwife. I want to work through the pain---even if in the moment i'll be screaming otherwise. I want to see what my body can do, and I want to feel every second of it, and be there 100 % for the whole birth. She's my little girl, and I've felt this whole pregnancy, every headache, every stomachache, every need for more oxygen when I reach the top of the stairs. I want to feel what it is like to bring her here. I think one big reason is because I want to feel how strong I am, and I want to give myself the confidence to continue that strength throughout motherhood. It will be hard. But I can do hard things. So, hopefully, I can figure out a name to give her at the end of all this 9 months and birth. If only I could just find one that hits, and sinks in, and feels like thee name. wish me luck.
I don't know that everyone will understand this post, but those who do might have to grab a tissue.
In December last year we added Kojo to our family. He was our first dog, but also the first animal we had to take care of. He was mine and Colten's. He was our buddy, and we loved him very much. He learned so fast and quickly became part of our everyday routine. He bonded with each of us in different ways. I was the cuddler, but Colten was the one he loved to go play with and work with. I planned on him being our family dog for at least 10 years. Ever since I remember, our family has had a dog. Most of the time it was more than one. I've loved and lost dogs growing up, but Kojo was different. He was mine. He was ours. To so many people it might seem dumb to talk about a dog as someone so special--but not to us. There's no way to explain what it feels like to form a relationship with an animal and really count them as part of your family. He was just so special.
Last week, Colten and Kojo and a couple of our nephews went up to Kolob to cut some wood for the winter. I wanted to go, and could have, but for some reason just wasn't feeling up to it. When the boys were just finishing up loading the rest of the wood and the chainsaw into the truck, Colten saw Kojo start heading back to the truck. At that moment, he also saw a truck coming down the dirt road and before Colten could say anything or even knew what to say the accident happened. Kojo was killed instantly.
Colten said he just walked over to Kojo, sat on the ground, and couldn't say a word. The man driving the truck had 3 dogs in the back of his truck--obviously a dog lover. He felt terrible. He tried to help and apologize but Colten said he couldn't talk. So he didn't. He didn't say one word. The man's wife gave Colten a sheet to wrap Kojo in, and Colten did so and put him in the truck and drove away. They were kind people, I feel bad Colten didn't say anything, but I think they probably understood. Colten buried Kojo up by our cabin, and drove home. When he came home, he just showed me Kojo's collar. He couldn't talk through his tears for about a half hour so I tried to console him not knowing what exactly had happened. He was finally able to tell me, and eventually I lost it. Colten's family kept showing up throughout the day showing their love and concern. They just sat with us, and that helped. I didn't tell my family till the next day cuz I just couldn't text it without crying more. I did tell my parents right after it all happened, and I think my mom cried as hard as we did.
I just know this will come across as so weird to some people. But again, it's so hard to explain. We just loved that dog so much, and we will forever miss him.
You wouldn't believe it, but we already have a new puppy. Colten has decided he can't live without a dog. I can't either, but I would've liked to wait longer. But, we happened to hear about some puppies that were australian shepherd, border collie, blue heeler mixes. Kojo was a border collie so we went and checked them out. There was one boy left when we got there, and we brought him home. His name is Broni, which in Twi means white. He's mostly white but his face has black and brown, and he's got little black spots and red spots all over his body. We love our new puppy, but puppies are not very fun for me.They're hard work. But we're hopeful that he will become a good dog like Kojo, but he will never replace Kojo. Broni is just our new adventure, our new member of the family, with his own crazy personality. He will hopefully be potty trained before baby gets here, and so I'm not too worried about having a baby and a puppy. I actually think it will be cool to watch our little girl grow up with Broni. I'm sure she will learn to love dogs as much as Colten and I do. (It's funny though, Colten never wanted a dog in the first place, but he has learned just how great they can be, and I love how loving he is towards them). Kojo was so great, and we will always love him.
In other news, I don't like the name Adelaide anymore. I always have to repeat myself when I tell people what it is. And no one can quite remember it. So the name search is on again. Why are girls names so hard for me? I can't believe weve only got 3 months left. That is so mind-boggling. I finished her bassinet, some fabric boxes for above her crib (that we don't have yet), and my mom bought me a diaper bag. It's cute I like it. Good ole walmart. I ordered her some basics for clothing online too just so that I'd feel a little more prepared in case we don't get certain things at showers. It's a little overwhelming to thing how life will be when she gets here, but we are excited for the changes. The reality of labor and birth are hitting me a little more. I can't say that I'm scared though. I think I'm nervous, maybe apprehensive, but I've never felt it, so I don't know what I could be scared of when I don't know how it will be for me. I know I'm glad I'm doing it with a midwife. I want to work through the pain---even if in the moment i'll be screaming otherwise. I want to see what my body can do, and I want to feel every second of it, and be there 100 % for the whole birth. She's my little girl, and I've felt this whole pregnancy, every headache, every stomachache, every need for more oxygen when I reach the top of the stairs. I want to feel what it is like to bring her here. I think one big reason is because I want to feel how strong I am, and I want to give myself the confidence to continue that strength throughout motherhood. It will be hard. But I can do hard things. So, hopefully, I can figure out a name to give her at the end of all this 9 months and birth. If only I could just find one that hits, and sinks in, and feels like thee name. wish me luck.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Newest Favorite Name Idea
Adelaide Harmony Iverson. For short: Ada. I like. Colten likes. We shall see.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
beautiful.
aWhat a beautiful feeling it is---to feel your baby move inside you. And to see her punch or kick your tummy. And they say to cherish this now, because the punching and kicking doesn't hurt yet. So I'm cherishing. It's impossible for any pregnant woman to constantly cherish every moment of pregnancy......cuz the moments kneeling next to the toilet, waking up to pee (again), and realizing that your hungry (again) can sometimes be frustrating. And I figure that Maybe I'm being a Captain Obvious right now, but I believe it's the same when the baby is here only, it's the baby who just peed (again) and who is also hungry (again).
But, THEN, there are the times when moms sit and think, and they cherish. They cherish waking up again to a hungry baby because even though they're tired, they have a baby, and he/she is alive and doing well. I cherish the movements in my belly because they mean she's alive and she's doing well. Those movements mean I'm really gonna be a mom. And I hope and pray that I spend more time cherishing then being frustrated. I cherish the excitement rather than the nervousness about all that has to be done before she comes.
My grandma told me about how she prepared for her first baby...she didn't really get to! She didn't know exactly when she would get a baby girl, but all of a sudden she was there, and my grandma and grandpa had to make do. Their first daughter was adopted, thus the quick arrival. And my grandma said for a bassinet she used a laundry basket with a pillow inside. Awesome huh :)
I want to have a farm in my backyard with goats and chickens...like my mamas. Cows don't get to stay in the backyard....unless we had a real big backyard. And I want lots of children to fill the house and to help on the farm. I know for sure my kids will know about agriculture. I can't imagine not teaching them about how important it is. We already got the cows, but I really like goats and chickens. And of course we'll always have a dog running around causing trouble like Kojo does. Actually, I take that back, Kojo doesn't cause that much trouble, except for when he sleeps on the couches when we're not home. Other than that, that one little dog brings a lot of joy into this house. Everyone's different with how they feel about dogs, just like everything in life, but I sure am a dog person. And Colten sure is too. And I love in the morning when I'm half asleep and I get outta bed and look over and there's kojo laying on his belly with his two back legs spread in opposite directions, his head on his two front paws, and a look on his face like, "can someone please let me out so I can go potty now?" I loved how a couple mornings ago, I was sitting on Colten's lap on the couch, and Kojo just couldn't handle not getting any attention so it always starts with him putting his two front paws on our laps...then he sneaks one back leg up and slowly pushes himself up so that he gets to sit on Colten's lap too. We both just laughed.
I hate when Colten has to leave way too early in the morning, but I love how Kojo can sense that I'm uneasy still in bed by myself, he jumps up in bed (even though he totally knows he's not allowed to 99% of the time) and he curls up in a ball next to me and it makes me feel safe. He stays in one spot so he doesn't get the bed all dirty, and I swear he really can sense when I'm scared, because he only does it when I need him to, and I never have to say anything to him at all.
Well, this was as random as a post can get, motherhood, farms, and dogs. But aren't those all beautiful? To me, they are so much of what makes my life beautiful. I'm thankful my Heavenly Father knows what I love, and so He has filled my life with it. I guess the trick is, we all just have to remember to cherish the beautiful things and not get caught up in the not-so-beautiful.
But, THEN, there are the times when moms sit and think, and they cherish. They cherish waking up again to a hungry baby because even though they're tired, they have a baby, and he/she is alive and doing well. I cherish the movements in my belly because they mean she's alive and she's doing well. Those movements mean I'm really gonna be a mom. And I hope and pray that I spend more time cherishing then being frustrated. I cherish the excitement rather than the nervousness about all that has to be done before she comes.
My grandma told me about how she prepared for her first baby...she didn't really get to! She didn't know exactly when she would get a baby girl, but all of a sudden she was there, and my grandma and grandpa had to make do. Their first daughter was adopted, thus the quick arrival. And my grandma said for a bassinet she used a laundry basket with a pillow inside. Awesome huh :)
I want to have a farm in my backyard with goats and chickens...like my mamas. Cows don't get to stay in the backyard....unless we had a real big backyard. And I want lots of children to fill the house and to help on the farm. I know for sure my kids will know about agriculture. I can't imagine not teaching them about how important it is. We already got the cows, but I really like goats and chickens. And of course we'll always have a dog running around causing trouble like Kojo does. Actually, I take that back, Kojo doesn't cause that much trouble, except for when he sleeps on the couches when we're not home. Other than that, that one little dog brings a lot of joy into this house. Everyone's different with how they feel about dogs, just like everything in life, but I sure am a dog person. And Colten sure is too. And I love in the morning when I'm half asleep and I get outta bed and look over and there's kojo laying on his belly with his two back legs spread in opposite directions, his head on his two front paws, and a look on his face like, "can someone please let me out so I can go potty now?" I loved how a couple mornings ago, I was sitting on Colten's lap on the couch, and Kojo just couldn't handle not getting any attention so it always starts with him putting his two front paws on our laps...then he sneaks one back leg up and slowly pushes himself up so that he gets to sit on Colten's lap too. We both just laughed.
I hate when Colten has to leave way too early in the morning, but I love how Kojo can sense that I'm uneasy still in bed by myself, he jumps up in bed (even though he totally knows he's not allowed to 99% of the time) and he curls up in a ball next to me and it makes me feel safe. He stays in one spot so he doesn't get the bed all dirty, and I swear he really can sense when I'm scared, because he only does it when I need him to, and I never have to say anything to him at all.
Well, this was as random as a post can get, motherhood, farms, and dogs. But aren't those all beautiful? To me, they are so much of what makes my life beautiful. I'm thankful my Heavenly Father knows what I love, and so He has filled my life with it. I guess the trick is, we all just have to remember to cherish the beautiful things and not get caught up in the not-so-beautiful.
Monday, August 20, 2012
sucks like a champ.
My title drew you in didn't it?
This phrase won the chance to be the title of this post because I spoke this exact phrase on Sunday afternoon, and I stopped myself finding the irony...or oxymoronyness to the phrase quite hilarious. I was speaking about our vacuum. Colten, (being the manly man and cleanly man that he is) decided to take the filter on our vacuum outside and use the air compressor to blow out all of the yucky stuff that clogs it up. And thus, when he came inside to use the vacuum, I asked him if it "sucked like a champ." And, it did, and it does. Thank you dear hubby for your brilliance and your interest in keeping our house clean and the items used to clean it clean too. (what a sentence...)
Today I made dinner. For approximately 22 out of the 23 weeks that I have been pregnant, I haven't really made dinner. Don't worry, other people feed us. And somehow we have made it this far and I have also managed to gain some weight. Nausea said goodbye, but then came back sneakily in the form of Acid Reflux. So, again, food and I battle. But yet, I still made dinner today and Colten and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I also have a little more of a desire to cook in general, which I have not felt for pretty much all of the year 2012. (school, work, pregnancy).
The scale today read a number I haven't seen since my sophomore year of high school. Weird moment. Bittersweet.
I finished her baby blanket yesterday. :) woot woot.
That's all for the randomness.....well maybe one more thing.... is it weird that I'm actually a little jealous that I'm not going to school this semester and Colten is? Ya....that's weird. I should stop right there. ......
I just miss walking into class, sitting down, and just soaking in all the information I possibly can. I love to learn. What can I say? I do know I'm not done with school. I know I'm out of it for a lil bit, but I'm not done. I can't be. There's too much more to learn, and I can't just not learn it. yep, ifs official, I'm a nerd. :)
This phrase won the chance to be the title of this post because I spoke this exact phrase on Sunday afternoon, and I stopped myself finding the irony...or oxymoronyness to the phrase quite hilarious. I was speaking about our vacuum. Colten, (being the manly man and cleanly man that he is) decided to take the filter on our vacuum outside and use the air compressor to blow out all of the yucky stuff that clogs it up. And thus, when he came inside to use the vacuum, I asked him if it "sucked like a champ." And, it did, and it does. Thank you dear hubby for your brilliance and your interest in keeping our house clean and the items used to clean it clean too. (what a sentence...)
Today I made dinner. For approximately 22 out of the 23 weeks that I have been pregnant, I haven't really made dinner. Don't worry, other people feed us. And somehow we have made it this far and I have also managed to gain some weight. Nausea said goodbye, but then came back sneakily in the form of Acid Reflux. So, again, food and I battle. But yet, I still made dinner today and Colten and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I also have a little more of a desire to cook in general, which I have not felt for pretty much all of the year 2012. (school, work, pregnancy).
The scale today read a number I haven't seen since my sophomore year of high school. Weird moment. Bittersweet.
I finished her baby blanket yesterday. :) woot woot.
That's all for the randomness.....well maybe one more thing.... is it weird that I'm actually a little jealous that I'm not going to school this semester and Colten is? Ya....that's weird. I should stop right there. ......
I just miss walking into class, sitting down, and just soaking in all the information I possibly can. I love to learn. What can I say? I do know I'm not done with school. I know I'm out of it for a lil bit, but I'm not done. I can't be. There's too much more to learn, and I can't just not learn it. yep, ifs official, I'm a nerd. :)
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Names...and bestest buddies.
So, our boy name is still set in stone. Garrett Wayne will be a part of our family, but now it won't be for a long time. Our girl name that we liked, Lois Angell, is now outta the picture. I don't know why! But it's just not the right name for her. I still like the name, but that's just not our daughter's name. For some reason, the name Harmony popped into my mind after we found out it was a girl. I'd never seriously considered that one before. We still haven't 100 % decided on it, but once Colten heard that name, he said Lois is no longer an option haha. He's even referred to baby as Harmony a couple times... :) I can't quite decide on a middle name, or even if Harmony is the perfect name. But so far, it's top of the list.
My mom and I just so happened to end up in the baby section the other day... haha. And we ended up picking out some lil Sunday dresses and a couple outfits. So fun, and so cute. So glad I get to shop for a girl!!!! My two sis-in-laws are also pregnant with girls which pretty much makes everything that much funner. (funner is totally a word in my dictionary). I also started a baby blanket for her, it's blue and yellow. Not pink. :) haha I like pink, but we already had this discussion.
It's so cute. I also got fabric to line her bassinet with, and its a cute hippie flowery print. I guess I'm not as into the baby fabrics as most people, so she's gonna be rockin' some different stuff. haha...i say that but yet the truth is all the outfits we got are in the pink/black/white range...haha. But I couldn't resist the gray and white cheetah print dress with a little pink sweater...cutest thing ever. But I'm still gonna try to throw in some different colors. At least for her room...
Girls are fun I already decided. I'm gonna be able to do her hair! Paint her nails! Sing to her and with her! Buy her dollies and flowers for her hair! I'm so excited. I would be just as excited for a boy, but it just seems a perfect fit to have this baby girl come to our family first. Besides, Colten already has his bestest buddy in the boy department:
Sorry if this image disturbs you ;) haha
Aren't my boys so cute? They are bestest friends forever and ever. I love these two. Colten asked me last night, "How come dogs don't live as long as humans?" That's man code for, "I just love kojo and I want to have him forever and ever and he can never die" I wish dogs lived as long as humans too hun. I really do.
My mom and I just so happened to end up in the baby section the other day... haha. And we ended up picking out some lil Sunday dresses and a couple outfits. So fun, and so cute. So glad I get to shop for a girl!!!! My two sis-in-laws are also pregnant with girls which pretty much makes everything that much funner. (funner is totally a word in my dictionary). I also started a baby blanket for her, it's blue and yellow. Not pink. :) haha I like pink, but we already had this discussion.
It's so cute. I also got fabric to line her bassinet with, and its a cute hippie flowery print. I guess I'm not as into the baby fabrics as most people, so she's gonna be rockin' some different stuff. haha...i say that but yet the truth is all the outfits we got are in the pink/black/white range...haha. But I couldn't resist the gray and white cheetah print dress with a little pink sweater...cutest thing ever. But I'm still gonna try to throw in some different colors. At least for her room...
Girls are fun I already decided. I'm gonna be able to do her hair! Paint her nails! Sing to her and with her! Buy her dollies and flowers for her hair! I'm so excited. I would be just as excited for a boy, but it just seems a perfect fit to have this baby girl come to our family first. Besides, Colten already has his bestest buddy in the boy department:
Sorry if this image disturbs you ;) haha
Aren't my boys so cute? They are bestest friends forever and ever. I love these two. Colten asked me last night, "How come dogs don't live as long as humans?" That's man code for, "I just love kojo and I want to have him forever and ever and he can never die" I wish dogs lived as long as humans too hun. I really do.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
It's A Girl!!!
I would post pics, but we are having minor issues with that at the moment...so if i get the pics from the ultrasound I will post them. We are very excited! Colten's been wanting a boy, but he is, like me, very happy to bring this little girl into our family. Besides, Colten has Kojo. :) Finally I can start decorating, buying cute stuff, etc...
It was awesome to actually see her heartbeat, and not just hear it. It was cool to see her wiggle all around :) Sometimes it hits me that this is real, and sometimes I can't quite imagine it all. But seeing my little girl actually there inside me, wow, just wow. how amazing. It boggles my mind. And warms my heart. All at the same time. The ultrasound tech said she was almost a pound and 9 inches long. (I'm thinking, she didn't get my body type, she got Colten's! haha) He said she is healthy, a little on the skinny side, but lookin good. :)
For the first time--a lady asked me if I was expecting. Lucky for her, I am :) haha.
It was awesome to actually see her heartbeat, and not just hear it. It was cool to see her wiggle all around :) Sometimes it hits me that this is real, and sometimes I can't quite imagine it all. But seeing my little girl actually there inside me, wow, just wow. how amazing. It boggles my mind. And warms my heart. All at the same time. The ultrasound tech said she was almost a pound and 9 inches long. (I'm thinking, she didn't get my body type, she got Colten's! haha) He said she is healthy, a little on the skinny side, but lookin good. :)
For the first time--a lady asked me if I was expecting. Lucky for her, I am :) haha.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Thoughts
I'm currently reading, "The Gift of Giving Life." It is good. I will probably share my thoughts on it a lot.
But I just started it, so not too many thoughts quite yet.
Pregnancy has made me a lot more sensitive. Sensitivity has increased in all of the following areas: physical sensitivity--to food and/or anything too physically strenuous; emotional sensitivity---I was told that this was something that American women had been "conditioned" to believe, so they blame pregnancy for acting ridiculously and crying all the time----I basically replied that that was bull crap. :) more on that later... spiritual sensitivity---Going to the temple means that much more, my yearning for the scriptures has increased (although I still struggle to actually sit and study and this is why I'm in Young Women--scriptures were the topic of the lesson on sunday) my heart just seems to be more sensitive, and I think I'm able to listen to the spirit stronger which makes me have that much more faith that there is a Heavenly Father aware of the child growing within me, and despite my imperfections- He wants me to make the best choices for her/him. I'm grateful for that.
On the subject of emotional sensitivity: (venting, watch out)
When you were pregnant, (if you ever have been) were you 100% emotionally stable all the time?
Were you capable of controlling yourself in every situation despite how much it hurt/terrified/frustrated you?
If so, what pill are you taking? Can I have one?
Just kidding, that wouldn't fly with my midwife. :)
I am not saying that I cry everyday, because I don't. In fact, compared to most women I've been known to be much less of a 'cryer.' When you sing in front of people, you have to learn to turn off that thing inside that starts the tears. You still want to convey every bit of emotion you can in every song, but you have to actually sing the song not whine or blubber it. Thus I learned how to control that switch inside of me....then I got pregnant.
Again, I haven't cried that much still, but I have found that dumber things affect me more emotionally than before- and they are things that I could have handled just fine normally. I have found that once the tears actually reach the surface, even if logically I KNOW that what caused the tears is ridiculous- it takes me waaayyyyy longer to find the off switch. For example, the first time I knew there was something different about me emotionally was when I was much earlier in my pregnancy (i dont think i blogged this before...but if so sorry) and I was walking along and I stubbed my toe. For goodness sakes, I just stubbed my toe. It wasn't broken, it wasn't separated from my foot, it was just accidentally propelled too quickly into a wooden stool. And yet, I bawled. Colten was there to witness the whole thing. I started crying, and immediately started laughing really hard but tears were somehow still coming!!! I blubbered through my snot and wet face exclaiming, "why can't I stop crying! it didn't even hurt that bad! what's going on!" Colten and I both were a little freaked out. I finally did stop crying. But it took way longer.
I had another little incident where my opinionated little self dished it out but couldn't take it back. I had to leave the room and let my sorrows release--for like an hour. This didn't happen at work, but it surprised me because of situations I've been in at work that were far more emotionally intense but yet I didn't even shed a tear. I'm talking yelling, I'm talking criticism, I'm talking very open communication at it's finest, (because I was the only female manager at one time) and I handled it all like a champ! At least at the workplace I did, I complained...a smidge...once I would get home. haha... But anyway,
Long explanation later, I KNOW I have not been "told" or "conditioned" or made to believe that I would be more emotionally sensitive when I got pregnant. I do believe there are women out there who probably handle things better. And correct me if I'm wrong but I'm quite sure pregnancy is totally different for each individual woman here in America, and in every country around the world. I don't believe that this emotional change is just in America either. I'm not all knowledgeable on the subject or anything, but I do believe that the emotional change comes from actual physical and chemical changes in the body. I could probably google that... but anyway. I just wanted to hear your experiences, and confirm that I'm not the only one who has had little moments of craziness.
If in fact, for some reason, it is just an American cultural thing-----it's probably due to nutrition. Cuz apparently as a country we really suck at that. And if that's the case, I don't wanna hear it, because I've already explained my current issues with food numerous times. So, we're just gonna stick to the idea that it's universal mmmmmk? :) mmmmk.
But I just started it, so not too many thoughts quite yet.
Pregnancy has made me a lot more sensitive. Sensitivity has increased in all of the following areas: physical sensitivity--to food and/or anything too physically strenuous; emotional sensitivity---I was told that this was something that American women had been "conditioned" to believe, so they blame pregnancy for acting ridiculously and crying all the time----I basically replied that that was bull crap. :) more on that later... spiritual sensitivity---Going to the temple means that much more, my yearning for the scriptures has increased (although I still struggle to actually sit and study and this is why I'm in Young Women--scriptures were the topic of the lesson on sunday) my heart just seems to be more sensitive, and I think I'm able to listen to the spirit stronger which makes me have that much more faith that there is a Heavenly Father aware of the child growing within me, and despite my imperfections- He wants me to make the best choices for her/him. I'm grateful for that.
On the subject of emotional sensitivity: (venting, watch out)
When you were pregnant, (if you ever have been) were you 100% emotionally stable all the time?
Were you capable of controlling yourself in every situation despite how much it hurt/terrified/frustrated you?
If so, what pill are you taking? Can I have one?
Just kidding, that wouldn't fly with my midwife. :)
I am not saying that I cry everyday, because I don't. In fact, compared to most women I've been known to be much less of a 'cryer.' When you sing in front of people, you have to learn to turn off that thing inside that starts the tears. You still want to convey every bit of emotion you can in every song, but you have to actually sing the song not whine or blubber it. Thus I learned how to control that switch inside of me....then I got pregnant.
Again, I haven't cried that much still, but I have found that dumber things affect me more emotionally than before- and they are things that I could have handled just fine normally. I have found that once the tears actually reach the surface, even if logically I KNOW that what caused the tears is ridiculous- it takes me waaayyyyy longer to find the off switch. For example, the first time I knew there was something different about me emotionally was when I was much earlier in my pregnancy (i dont think i blogged this before...but if so sorry) and I was walking along and I stubbed my toe. For goodness sakes, I just stubbed my toe. It wasn't broken, it wasn't separated from my foot, it was just accidentally propelled too quickly into a wooden stool. And yet, I bawled. Colten was there to witness the whole thing. I started crying, and immediately started laughing really hard but tears were somehow still coming!!! I blubbered through my snot and wet face exclaiming, "why can't I stop crying! it didn't even hurt that bad! what's going on!" Colten and I both were a little freaked out. I finally did stop crying. But it took way longer.
I had another little incident where my opinionated little self dished it out but couldn't take it back. I had to leave the room and let my sorrows release--for like an hour. This didn't happen at work, but it surprised me because of situations I've been in at work that were far more emotionally intense but yet I didn't even shed a tear. I'm talking yelling, I'm talking criticism, I'm talking very open communication at it's finest, (because I was the only female manager at one time) and I handled it all like a champ! At least at the workplace I did, I complained...a smidge...once I would get home. haha... But anyway,
Long explanation later, I KNOW I have not been "told" or "conditioned" or made to believe that I would be more emotionally sensitive when I got pregnant. I do believe there are women out there who probably handle things better. And correct me if I'm wrong but I'm quite sure pregnancy is totally different for each individual woman here in America, and in every country around the world. I don't believe that this emotional change is just in America either. I'm not all knowledgeable on the subject or anything, but I do believe that the emotional change comes from actual physical and chemical changes in the body. I could probably google that... but anyway. I just wanted to hear your experiences, and confirm that I'm not the only one who has had little moments of craziness.
If in fact, for some reason, it is just an American cultural thing-----it's probably due to nutrition. Cuz apparently as a country we really suck at that. And if that's the case, I don't wanna hear it, because I've already explained my current issues with food numerous times. So, we're just gonna stick to the idea that it's universal mmmmmk? :) mmmmk.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Feeling...better...
Well, I pretty much have to shove my face with food continually. Co-workers have even commented that I eat a lot more now (don't worry, I work with lots of teenage boys I wasn't offended I laughed pretty hard actually). Even my hubby is like, what? we just ate! haha. Haven't gained weight yet... gonna ask my midwife about that on wednesday. My stomach is getting bigger though, a lot bigger. people ARE noticing.... family members have mentioned I am now showing, which is fine because they know i'm pregnant. It's only awkward when people who I'm not sure know look me up and down like, "is she just getting fat? or is she pregnant?" haha. It's all good though. I am officially 17 weeks along now. I could find out what I'm having any day. BUT, I'm gonna wait a few more weeks. I want that ultra-sound tech to be 100 percent absolutely as positive as positive can be on what gender baby is. I realize that most of the time they get it right these days. But my midwife just delivered a baby a few weeks ago that was supposed to be a boy...and it was a girl. That would be fine with me if this were my second because I would already have a good selection of baby clothes and such. But because this is my first, whatever gender baby is will cause me to be swarmed with either pink or blue and thus if he comes out as a she or vice versa, sammy will be still incredibly happy but a smidge...idk can you really be angry about it? guess not, but maybe a bit annoyed...
If I'm having a girl, I want to try to pass on that I want to do her room in oranges and yellows (and maybe some blue) instead of pink. Pink is fine and dandy, but it's never been my top favorite color of choice. But, if I still get swarmed with pink and purple I'm quite sure she will look absolutely adorable and I won't care. If it's a boy, I'm gonna shoot for dark blue, his room will be tan and dark blue, and the deer antlers will stay in their place :) haha.
On more serious notes:
I'm pregnant. When did I grow up? Anyone feel this? I'm gonna be a mom! What a blessing, but also how intimidating! I'm so excited, but a little overwhelmed and I'm not even quite halfway, I almost am, but wow. It's mind blowing. I think we're ready, but then sometimes I think I'm so not ready for this! Even though I am so so sure this is the right time, there are moments I just think, "how will everything work out!?" I know it will though. I've just never done this before! I don't know what to expect! I do know that the Fall/Winter season is looking more appealing than ever. I do know that I'm glad more of an appetite is back inside of me. I do know Colten is gonna be a great dad, and that the Lord is watching over us helping us every step of the way.
If I'm having a girl, I want to try to pass on that I want to do her room in oranges and yellows (and maybe some blue) instead of pink. Pink is fine and dandy, but it's never been my top favorite color of choice. But, if I still get swarmed with pink and purple I'm quite sure she will look absolutely adorable and I won't care. If it's a boy, I'm gonna shoot for dark blue, his room will be tan and dark blue, and the deer antlers will stay in their place :) haha.
On more serious notes:
I'm pregnant. When did I grow up? Anyone feel this? I'm gonna be a mom! What a blessing, but also how intimidating! I'm so excited, but a little overwhelmed and I'm not even quite halfway, I almost am, but wow. It's mind blowing. I think we're ready, but then sometimes I think I'm so not ready for this! Even though I am so so sure this is the right time, there are moments I just think, "how will everything work out!?" I know it will though. I've just never done this before! I don't know what to expect! I do know that the Fall/Winter season is looking more appealing than ever. I do know that I'm glad more of an appetite is back inside of me. I do know Colten is gonna be a great dad, and that the Lord is watching over us helping us every step of the way.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Food=My enemy
What a horrible attitude to have right? I know. We just have a serious love/hate relationship right now. It seems like my nausea is getting a little bit better, but I have to put food in my mouth constantly or I start getting sick. And it's hard because I don't like food THAT much! Sometimes I think having to think about food or a meal is just time-consuming and frustrating and before I was pregnant I could go hours (not because I was trying to, but just because it wasn't a #1 priority) without eating. And really, by hours I mean, I could eat a piece of toast in the morning, I could handle waiting for a late lunch maybe even till 2 or 3, and then sometimes dinner wouldn't be till 9 o'clock at night! (this was also partially the fault of last semester's school and work schedule) But that's the schedule I was on and then all of a sudden I'm pregnant and hate food worse than I did before. It's hard to explain....I mean, I love a nice, big, juicy steak now and again, I love a trip to Olive Garden or Pasta Factory for a rock-my-world dish of pasta. I just don't eat like that all the time. And I'm still not that great of a cook, again thanks to crazy schedules that are now less crazy but I still don't know what to cook and cooking sounds nauseating.
I hate going grocery shopping too. I used to like it. Now I just hate it. And I just have no idea how I even get food in me because I can't think of anything to cook. I eat a lot of Wendy's baked potatoes --sometimes with chili. I eat stuff from Lin's Deli. I could just really write a mean letter to the person who made it so that Durango's has to be closed during this stressful time...I'm pretty much sick of Dairy Queen and don't like the idea of any other fast food places in town. I hate eating frozen stuff but I've resorted to a lot of that on days when I work. But- urgh it's just frustrating. nothing really sounds good, and because I take forever to decide then I start getting sick which just makes it worse. it's an ongoing, vicious, repetitive, ridiculous, cycle and I'm really annoyed by it.
I hope this doesn't mean my child is already starting out as a picky eater. I want to eat healthy too, but the thought of pulling out the broccoli in my fridge and steaming it or boiling it just sounds disgusting. And that used to be one of my favorite things! Oh and then when I do eat, I can only eat so much before I start feeling like its gonna come back up. I need a personal chef who can read my mind (and stomach/child's mind) and determine what sounds good and what will be healthy for me.
Ironically enough, a few of the best meals I've eaten have been on Kolob because we've spent the last two weekends there. I attribute part of that to the fact that I'm forced to plan meals if we want to eat up there, and because of the allergies I get (cuz I can't take medicine and don't want to) which cause my nose to be stuffed which then makes tasting food easier to handle I think. So, maybe the solution is this: move to Kolob, supply myself with extra tissues and lotion for my nose, and go pig out.
I have only gained 2-4 pounds. However, there is a large number of my jeans that I can't button up, and frankly wouldn't want to even try on cuz it just sounds constricting. And I can tell certain areas are all joyfully getting bigger. But yet, my wedding ring was pretty much jumping off my finger so I've resorted to a smaller sized fake ring cuz I can't wear my normal one. So it's like the weight is just re-distributing. And yet I feel like I eat all day long. All my thoughts are consumed with is-- what do I eat next.
This is a long blog post, but I'm still going.
I'm now 15 weeks. My baby is the size of an apple :) I'm sort of disappointed, but sort of not, but sort of am (sheesh, i am pregnant) still a little disappointed because, I'm hardly showing at allllll. It's not like I want a huge belly already, but I'd like to look a little bit like there's a purpose behind these new little love-handles. But, my uterus is retroverted, so that means the baby is more towards my spine, but will essentially pop-forward one day and i'll feel all-of-a-sudden really pregnant. It seems like there's been a few times where my belly has poked out more, but when i wake up in the morning, it's seriously almost like there's nothing there. I can tell a small difference but the only thing really proving that i'm growing is that my pants don't fit. They say during the 2nd trimester though, you start "enjoying pregnancy" and eating a lot and gaining weight, and frankly i'm to the point where I WANT that. I'd like to somewhat enjoy food again.
So, after venting, I'll finish with saying I am glad to be pregnant. I'm happy we heard the heartbeat,--what a crazy moment. I'm excited for fall/winter because I'll be able to wear layers and cute pregnancy clothes and I'll get a Christmas present that will beat out pretty much anything I've ever gotten or will ever get for Christmas. I'm hoping that this Thanksgiving will be the best thanksgiving of my life because I'll be close to ready to popping, and I'll be hungry as a hippo and I'll be able to eat forever! (muaahahahaaha) I'm happy I made it through the 1st trimester, and I'm just praying everyday that Heavenly Father will make up the rest if I'm not getting all I should with the foods I eat. (i am taking prenatals too) I will continue to do a lot of praying, I am feeling a different kind of closeness to the spirit as time goes on and my heart seems to be more open since being pregnant. And it's not just the hormones. I like the new sensitivity to emotions, because sometimes I struggle with that- I liked to keep them closed up. I know that my Heavenly Father is aware of my and my struggles, and I also know He will continue to watch over me and baby. I have to keep trusting that and having that faith makes everything that much easier because I know everything will be okay.
I hate going grocery shopping too. I used to like it. Now I just hate it. And I just have no idea how I even get food in me because I can't think of anything to cook. I eat a lot of Wendy's baked potatoes --sometimes with chili. I eat stuff from Lin's Deli. I could just really write a mean letter to the person who made it so that Durango's has to be closed during this stressful time...I'm pretty much sick of Dairy Queen and don't like the idea of any other fast food places in town. I hate eating frozen stuff but I've resorted to a lot of that on days when I work. But- urgh it's just frustrating. nothing really sounds good, and because I take forever to decide then I start getting sick which just makes it worse. it's an ongoing, vicious, repetitive, ridiculous, cycle and I'm really annoyed by it.
I hope this doesn't mean my child is already starting out as a picky eater. I want to eat healthy too, but the thought of pulling out the broccoli in my fridge and steaming it or boiling it just sounds disgusting. And that used to be one of my favorite things! Oh and then when I do eat, I can only eat so much before I start feeling like its gonna come back up. I need a personal chef who can read my mind (and stomach/child's mind) and determine what sounds good and what will be healthy for me.
Ironically enough, a few of the best meals I've eaten have been on Kolob because we've spent the last two weekends there. I attribute part of that to the fact that I'm forced to plan meals if we want to eat up there, and because of the allergies I get (cuz I can't take medicine and don't want to) which cause my nose to be stuffed which then makes tasting food easier to handle I think. So, maybe the solution is this: move to Kolob, supply myself with extra tissues and lotion for my nose, and go pig out.
I have only gained 2-4 pounds. However, there is a large number of my jeans that I can't button up, and frankly wouldn't want to even try on cuz it just sounds constricting. And I can tell certain areas are all joyfully getting bigger. But yet, my wedding ring was pretty much jumping off my finger so I've resorted to a smaller sized fake ring cuz I can't wear my normal one. So it's like the weight is just re-distributing. And yet I feel like I eat all day long. All my thoughts are consumed with is-- what do I eat next.
This is a long blog post, but I'm still going.
I'm now 15 weeks. My baby is the size of an apple :) I'm sort of disappointed, but sort of not, but sort of am (sheesh, i am pregnant) still a little disappointed because, I'm hardly showing at allllll. It's not like I want a huge belly already, but I'd like to look a little bit like there's a purpose behind these new little love-handles. But, my uterus is retroverted, so that means the baby is more towards my spine, but will essentially pop-forward one day and i'll feel all-of-a-sudden really pregnant. It seems like there's been a few times where my belly has poked out more, but when i wake up in the morning, it's seriously almost like there's nothing there. I can tell a small difference but the only thing really proving that i'm growing is that my pants don't fit. They say during the 2nd trimester though, you start "enjoying pregnancy" and eating a lot and gaining weight, and frankly i'm to the point where I WANT that. I'd like to somewhat enjoy food again.
So, after venting, I'll finish with saying I am glad to be pregnant. I'm happy we heard the heartbeat,--what a crazy moment. I'm excited for fall/winter because I'll be able to wear layers and cute pregnancy clothes and I'll get a Christmas present that will beat out pretty much anything I've ever gotten or will ever get for Christmas. I'm hoping that this Thanksgiving will be the best thanksgiving of my life because I'll be close to ready to popping, and I'll be hungry as a hippo and I'll be able to eat forever! (muaahahahaaha) I'm happy I made it through the 1st trimester, and I'm just praying everyday that Heavenly Father will make up the rest if I'm not getting all I should with the foods I eat. (i am taking prenatals too) I will continue to do a lot of praying, I am feeling a different kind of closeness to the spirit as time goes on and my heart seems to be more open since being pregnant. And it's not just the hormones. I like the new sensitivity to emotions, because sometimes I struggle with that- I liked to keep them closed up. I know that my Heavenly Father is aware of my and my struggles, and I also know He will continue to watch over me and baby. I have to keep trusting that and having that faith makes everything that much easier because I know everything will be okay.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Remember how I said...
that my midwife told me that there would be a lot of people who would tell me that I was stupid? Well, that happened today. And I didn't have my guns in their holsters ready to respond, and I was caught off guard, and it sucked...
I knew it was coming, but for the most part many people have been supportive or indifferent. But not today. I went home, received reassurance from my sister, and then my mother, and then I had a good cry.
"Why would you go back 100 years when we have the kind of technology we have?" (no response, but my response should have been... why not rely on the same method that has worked for THOUSANDS of years? instead of the technology that has only worked for how long...)
I don't know if I've posted this yet, and some may think I'm crazy...but I'm of the faith that Heavenly Father has control of who comes into this world and who leaves. I realize very much so that agency plays a role in that--and that Heavenly Father will not force us to choose anything, and thus sometimes people make choices that cause other people to lose their lives. However, I KNOW that miracles do happen, and that if it is in fact not at all a person's time to go, then Heavenly Father will make it so that he/she stays here. I also know that he is aware of every single one of His children. In reality I am carrying one of His children. He trusts me and Colten to bring this child into the world---amazingly enough He does this knowing full well that we are young, we are imperfect, and we do not know everything. But, He trusts us with an amazing responsibility. And He does this because it's part of how we become like He is--parenting is what Heavenly Father does! And He wants us to learn about patience, love, teaching with the spirit, learning how to replace fears with faith, etc. And because He is aware of every one of us, He will be there for the birth of this child. He will be as much a part of it as me, as Colten, and as the midwife, and really He is the most a part of it, because, again, it is His child. So, if something does go wrong, and in the worst case scenario Heavenly Father decides that this child shouldn't be here for any reason---as hard as that would be---He is in charge. And so knowing this, what kind of person would I be to blame a doctor, a midwife, a nurse, an assistant, or anyone there who wasn't able to keep the baby here, alive, and healthy? When it is NOT their fault. Even in cases that prove that the doctor or midwife is to blame, AGAIN, who is REALLY in charge? And should we not have faith that Heavenly Father always knows what is best for us? And for our children?
(indirect quote, but summarized) "I trust the $250,000 machines to tell me what's going on with a baby"
(no response, but my response should have been.... "Really? I trust the Spirit. And I know my midwife does too")
The Spirit, or the Holy Ghost, is right 100% of the time. That is who my midwife relies on. She rarely goes for too long speaking without mentioning who really deserves all the credit ---Heavenly Father.
Anyway, I feel better now. But today was hard.
I knew it was coming, but for the most part many people have been supportive or indifferent. But not today. I went home, received reassurance from my sister, and then my mother, and then I had a good cry.
"Why would you go back 100 years when we have the kind of technology we have?" (no response, but my response should have been... why not rely on the same method that has worked for THOUSANDS of years? instead of the technology that has only worked for how long...)
I don't know if I've posted this yet, and some may think I'm crazy...but I'm of the faith that Heavenly Father has control of who comes into this world and who leaves. I realize very much so that agency plays a role in that--and that Heavenly Father will not force us to choose anything, and thus sometimes people make choices that cause other people to lose their lives. However, I KNOW that miracles do happen, and that if it is in fact not at all a person's time to go, then Heavenly Father will make it so that he/she stays here. I also know that he is aware of every single one of His children. In reality I am carrying one of His children. He trusts me and Colten to bring this child into the world---amazingly enough He does this knowing full well that we are young, we are imperfect, and we do not know everything. But, He trusts us with an amazing responsibility. And He does this because it's part of how we become like He is--parenting is what Heavenly Father does! And He wants us to learn about patience, love, teaching with the spirit, learning how to replace fears with faith, etc. And because He is aware of every one of us, He will be there for the birth of this child. He will be as much a part of it as me, as Colten, and as the midwife, and really He is the most a part of it, because, again, it is His child. So, if something does go wrong, and in the worst case scenario Heavenly Father decides that this child shouldn't be here for any reason---as hard as that would be---He is in charge. And so knowing this, what kind of person would I be to blame a doctor, a midwife, a nurse, an assistant, or anyone there who wasn't able to keep the baby here, alive, and healthy? When it is NOT their fault. Even in cases that prove that the doctor or midwife is to blame, AGAIN, who is REALLY in charge? And should we not have faith that Heavenly Father always knows what is best for us? And for our children?
(indirect quote, but summarized) "I trust the $250,000 machines to tell me what's going on with a baby"
(no response, but my response should have been.... "Really? I trust the Spirit. And I know my midwife does too")
The Spirit, or the Holy Ghost, is right 100% of the time. That is who my midwife relies on. She rarely goes for too long speaking without mentioning who really deserves all the credit ---Heavenly Father.
Anyway, I feel better now. But today was hard.
Monday, June 4, 2012
12 weeks
How exciting :) and ironic because citrusy stuff makes me feel better...
Colten still calls the lime Garrett, and now my sis-in-law has begun calling the lime Gertrude, to tease colten that it's a girl. But I can assure you all, that will not be her name if it's a girl. Ha ha. Good times.
Short post, but added random thought, when You'll Be In My Heart from Tarzan comes on does anyone else just feel happier? I just love that song. I love a million and a half songs. but that one just hit the spot. I love the Tarzan soundtrack. I've never been sick of it. Good job Phil Collins. Good job.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
testing....testing....123
Ok, so if I wasn't nerdy enough for the last post, here's my new one. So me and my co-workers (I promise we do actually work most of the time) did the test where I take a string and hold it in front of my belly, tie my wedding ring to it, and if it moves around in a circle it means i'm having a boy, and if it went side to side it would mean a girl.... well all three times it was a boy. So, then I tried holding it above my wrist (using my other co-workers method) and once again, a boy. THEN, I tried my bf's suggestion of holding it over my palm and asking it to go in a circle if I was prego with a boy, and it was again, a boy.
According to the Mayans, if you take your age at the time of conception, and the year of conception, and they both end in even or both in odd then it's a girl. If one's even and one's odd, it's a boy. Well, I was 21 at the time of conception, and we're in the year 2012, sooooo again, a boy.
BUT, according to the Chinese calendar I'm undoubtedly having a girl...and seeing as how they seem to be very successful....
Curious, have any of you tried these silly tests? Which ones worked? (I'm not crazy I know I'm really just gonna have to wait but I'm just having a little fun :))
According to the Mayans, if you take your age at the time of conception, and the year of conception, and they both end in even or both in odd then it's a girl. If one's even and one's odd, it's a boy. Well, I was 21 at the time of conception, and we're in the year 2012, sooooo again, a boy.
BUT, according to the Chinese calendar I'm undoubtedly having a girl...and seeing as how they seem to be very successful....
Curious, have any of you tried these silly tests? Which ones worked? (I'm not crazy I know I'm really just gonna have to wait but I'm just having a little fun :))
faith lost in gender-determining dreams
weird title right? i thought so too.
But, it's true, folks. I dreamed last night that I had a girl inside of me. I also dreamed that one of my co-workers had a seizure and I had to run and get help, but that's just sammy having weird dreams. I have thee weirdest dreams. I should share them more on here, but then again maybe I shouldn't....I should keep letting you all think I'm normal.
Anyway, subject matter, I want a girl. I want a boy too, but I want a girl just a tad more, so maybe that's why I dreamed that...but see my dad thinks its a boy and as frustrating as it is, he is right about a lot of stuff--like a lot of stuff... he's really good about listening to the spirit (hence his current church calling). One year at Christmas my mom had a surprise present for the whole family and no one knew what it was, including my dad. But he went in the other room, prayed about it, and literally had the answer. Just like that. So if dad says it's a boy, then it's pretty likely. However, there's always a 50/50 chance so no one can be certain. I just reallllllly want:
#1: nausea to be over. (today I feel pretty good, but I dont want to jinx anything)
#2: to know the gender. I am one of the most impatient people on the planet. (waiting for colten pretty much drove me to the crazy point and I'm still recovering)
#3: nausea to be over. so that I can get a little more excited cuz let's face it it's hard to jump up and down with joyfulness when you feel like throwing up.
#4: to know the gender. so I can call her, Lois, or call him Garrett.
#5: to have more patience. it's a lifetime goal.
But, it's true, folks. I dreamed last night that I had a girl inside of me. I also dreamed that one of my co-workers had a seizure and I had to run and get help, but that's just sammy having weird dreams. I have thee weirdest dreams. I should share them more on here, but then again maybe I shouldn't....I should keep letting you all think I'm normal.
Anyway, subject matter, I want a girl. I want a boy too, but I want a girl just a tad more, so maybe that's why I dreamed that...but see my dad thinks its a boy and as frustrating as it is, he is right about a lot of stuff--like a lot of stuff... he's really good about listening to the spirit (hence his current church calling). One year at Christmas my mom had a surprise present for the whole family and no one knew what it was, including my dad. But he went in the other room, prayed about it, and literally had the answer. Just like that. So if dad says it's a boy, then it's pretty likely. However, there's always a 50/50 chance so no one can be certain. I just reallllllly want:
#1: nausea to be over. (today I feel pretty good, but I dont want to jinx anything)
#2: to know the gender. I am one of the most impatient people on the planet. (waiting for colten pretty much drove me to the crazy point and I'm still recovering)
#3: nausea to be over. so that I can get a little more excited cuz let's face it it's hard to jump up and down with joyfulness when you feel like throwing up.
#4: to know the gender. so I can call her, Lois, or call him Garrett.
#5: to have more patience. it's a lifetime goal.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Split Glimpse.
Last night, we're driving down the Boulevard, when I suddenly see, through the glass windows of one of the Mexican restaurants, a very caveman looking guy. He had a large amount of hair on his head (obviously enough to be seen from far distances) that was parted down the middle but still covering part of his face. So I said, "Oh hun! Look at that caveman guy!" (sounds terribly judgmental, but you would have thought the same thing).
My hun tried looking but couldn't quite get the right angle but just in time before we completely passed he said, "I think I caught a split-glimpse"
I then burst into ridiculous amounts of laughter, because I was trying to picture what a split-glimpse might actually be. I teased him a little saying, "Does that mean you only caught it quickly with one eye?" "What does that mean!!?" haha.
Of course it was one of those moments where he wanted to say split-second or caught a glimpse, but somehow he mixed the two and it was awesome. It's like those moments where you want to say good luck, but you also want to say take care, and because your brain doesn't decide quickly enough it comes out "take, luck!" (i stole that from somewhere...can't remember) Anyway, I love my hubby, and I love how he will be making me laugh for forever.
My hun tried looking but couldn't quite get the right angle but just in time before we completely passed he said, "I think I caught a split-glimpse"
I then burst into ridiculous amounts of laughter, because I was trying to picture what a split-glimpse might actually be. I teased him a little saying, "Does that mean you only caught it quickly with one eye?" "What does that mean!!?" haha.
Of course it was one of those moments where he wanted to say split-second or caught a glimpse, but somehow he mixed the two and it was awesome. It's like those moments where you want to say good luck, but you also want to say take care, and because your brain doesn't decide quickly enough it comes out "take, luck!" (i stole that from somewhere...can't remember) Anyway, I love my hubby, and I love how he will be making me laugh for forever.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
I like.
I'm reading a book called "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." It's written by Dr. Laura.
At first I wasn't sure if I'd really read this book, because it was borrowed to me by a friend instead of me going out and getting it. But I was curious so I've begun reading, and I like it. This one little story she shares just hit me. So here I share: short and sweet but to the point:
"A grandfather was talking to his grandson. [for some reason I pictured native americans] 'Grandson,' he said, "there are two wolves living in my heart and they are at war with each other. One is vicious and cruel, the other is wise and kind."
"Grandfather," said the alarmed grandson, "which one will win?"
"The one I feed," said the grandfather.
I like this.
At first I wasn't sure if I'd really read this book, because it was borrowed to me by a friend instead of me going out and getting it. But I was curious so I've begun reading, and I like it. This one little story she shares just hit me. So here I share: short and sweet but to the point:
"A grandfather was talking to his grandson. [for some reason I pictured native americans] 'Grandson,' he said, "there are two wolves living in my heart and they are at war with each other. One is vicious and cruel, the other is wise and kind."
"Grandfather," said the alarmed grandson, "which one will win?"
"The one I feed," said the grandfather.
I like this.
10 weeks tomorrow
So, this baby is apparently the size of a kumquat. I can't really tell how big or little that is, but i do know that my uterus is approximately the size of an orange (according to my midwife). the internet says my uterus is the size of a grapefruit. (is this weird for anyone? sorry...) :) Even though the size of an orange still doesn't seem very big, it feels big to me! Everything I own is just uncomfortable but I don't want to buy maternity stuff yet! I'm just slippin in skirts and lose pants but my goodness. It's not fun, but it is at the same time. After I eat my stomach just plops out too like I'm 5 months pregnant, but in the morning you can't even tell at all. It's weird. At my appointment this week, the midwife took my blood pressure, and it was low, because it always is, and she said "blood pressure of a child." but it's ok, i am a relatively small person. everytime i get my blood pressure taken the nurse makes a comment, "whoa thats low" or "I wish i had that kind of blood pressure." So the midwife's was a new one, but I thought it was kindof funny. She then asked how tall I was, and what my shoe size was? hahaha those of you who know my shoe size know that that's definitely like a child's. I literally shop in the kids department. The day i went in for an appointment i was 9 weeks 3 days. She said the earliest she's ever heard a heartbeat was 9 weeks 6 days. But, we decided not to try yet because if you dont hear it it could be slightly depressing. but, we may go in a couple weeks to hear it. :)
I'm excited to almost be done with the first trimester. Im shootin for the nausea to go away in a couple weeks, but I know that's a long shot, it may stay for longer. I can handle the fatigue, and really every symptom is all worth it in the end. Theres an update for ya.
I'm excited to almost be done with the first trimester. Im shootin for the nausea to go away in a couple weeks, but I know that's a long shot, it may stay for longer. I can handle the fatigue, and really every symptom is all worth it in the end. Theres an update for ya.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Mother's Day Conversation
To begin mother's day I thought a nice bout of nausea would be nice. And it was. I was also half-asleep during this fun time, when all-of-a-sudden, my hubby walked in the room with a big glass of chocolate milk. I asked my stomach how it felt about that, and it said it sounded OK. So, then I said, "Hun, will you please go get me a glass of chocolate milk?" ...
His response: "nope"
Me: (thinking to myself: how rude, but i really am desperate because I know if I stand up the nausea will increase so, I decide to fight this one..) out loud I said: (in my most whiny voice possible) PLEASE WILL YOU GO GET ME SOME CHOCOLATE MILK!
He was on the computer now, looking at deals on ksl/craigslist (a favorite pastime of his). So, I attributed his next response to the fact that the computer was obviously more important than I.
He said: "Hun I really think you will be much happier if you go get it yourself"
Me: (so angry at this point but too tired to change my tactics, I increased the whine) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GO GET ME SOME CHOCOLATE MILK!!!
Now, this conversation went on way longer than it should have with similar responses still being repeated from both parties. Finally, because my husband really loves me and is more patient and sweet and wonderful than I, he got me a glass of chocolate milk. I drank the milk and fell back asleep.
When I finally got my haunches out of bed, I went into the kitchen to find something else to shove in my mouth. On the floor was a giant white box with a note on top. "Happy Mother's Day......(it said other loving things too)...." And on the box was a picture of something similar to this:
What a snot pump I am. What a serious jerk I was. How big of a stinker can you get?
There I was being a bad word to my husband, and his true reasoning behind wanting me to go in the kitchen that morning was so I could receive my awesome mother's day present. I have yet to truly make up for being such a snot. But, the point is, I have an amazing husband. I am thankful for him and for his thoughtfulness.
His response: "nope"
Me: (thinking to myself: how rude, but i really am desperate because I know if I stand up the nausea will increase so, I decide to fight this one..) out loud I said: (in my most whiny voice possible) PLEASE WILL YOU GO GET ME SOME CHOCOLATE MILK!
He was on the computer now, looking at deals on ksl/craigslist (a favorite pastime of his). So, I attributed his next response to the fact that the computer was obviously more important than I.
He said: "Hun I really think you will be much happier if you go get it yourself"
Me: (so angry at this point but too tired to change my tactics, I increased the whine) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GO GET ME SOME CHOCOLATE MILK!!!
Now, this conversation went on way longer than it should have with similar responses still being repeated from both parties. Finally, because my husband really loves me and is more patient and sweet and wonderful than I, he got me a glass of chocolate milk. I drank the milk and fell back asleep.
When I finally got my haunches out of bed, I went into the kitchen to find something else to shove in my mouth. On the floor was a giant white box with a note on top. "Happy Mother's Day......(it said other loving things too)...." And on the box was a picture of something similar to this:
There I was being a bad word to my husband, and his true reasoning behind wanting me to go in the kitchen that morning was so I could receive my awesome mother's day present. I have yet to truly make up for being such a snot. But, the point is, I have an amazing husband. I am thankful for him and for his thoughtfulness.
Monday, May 14, 2012
So I dreamed I had a boy...
And what a dream it was. My sis told me that doctors say that's the most accurate. I've had dreams about having a girl, but not since I have been prego. I've had a dream about having twin boys, but that was one time and it was a long time ago. haha. So, if dreams really do come true, then we are having a boy.
Nausea sucks. Something sounds good, I start eating it, and then its like my body yells, "JUST KIDDING!" and i have yet to finish a whole bowl of cereal, or pretty much a whole anything. oh and I'm hungry like every hour or so. My midwife suggested "sea bracelets" and I felt like they helped the first two days I had em, but yesterday they didn't seem to really do the trick. Oh and i have allergies. sneezing, itchy throat/nose/eyes, coughing, the whole shebang. it really adds to the rest of my symptoms of fun.
However, I'm still pluggin along and still getting very excited to meet the little grape-sized alien in my body. I'm 9 weeks now. ish (cuz ya never really know) and anyway i'm happy that the weeks keep going by. it's crazy to think i wont get to see this baby till the end of the year. but i can be patient, we still have lots to do before then.
Nausea sucks. Something sounds good, I start eating it, and then its like my body yells, "JUST KIDDING!" and i have yet to finish a whole bowl of cereal, or pretty much a whole anything. oh and I'm hungry like every hour or so. My midwife suggested "sea bracelets" and I felt like they helped the first two days I had em, but yesterday they didn't seem to really do the trick. Oh and i have allergies. sneezing, itchy throat/nose/eyes, coughing, the whole shebang. it really adds to the rest of my symptoms of fun.
However, I'm still pluggin along and still getting very excited to meet the little grape-sized alien in my body. I'm 9 weeks now. ish (cuz ya never really know) and anyway i'm happy that the weeks keep going by. it's crazy to think i wont get to see this baby till the end of the year. but i can be patient, we still have lots to do before then.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Good day.
So I met with an amazing lady today. She has done over 1200 births. She said, "The Lord is my best friend." She also said to me, "There are many women who will tell you you are crazy. They will tell you it's stupid to go natural with your first birth. They will also repeat over and over again the words---'but you just never know what will happen!' but (she continued) I know that the spirit is 100% reliable. And I always get a feeling just before a birth if something is going to go wrong. Everytime I get that feeling, there is nothing I can do but listen to the spirit and get that woman to the hospital. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I listen."
That is a woman I trust. She was so confident, and she had so much faith. I feel like working with her will be more than just having a child-for me- it will be a time of spiritual growth, and I look forward to finding strength within me that I didn't know I had. I feel good about it. But she still told me to pray about it before I made my final decision. (even though I'm quite sure it's already made). :)
I believe with all my heart, that every woman knows what is best for her and her baby. I believe women in general are blessed to be able to be extra-sensitive to the spirit-- and that is why motherhood is so beautiful. For me, I feel a connection to this woman- (i know i may sound crazy) --and I trust her. More importantly, I trust my Heavenly Father, and no matter what happens I know He is in control of when people enter and leave this world. I trust Him. And I'm so excited to be on this journey! I'm nervous, and I'm nauseous, but I'm happy. (and hungry).
That is a woman I trust. She was so confident, and she had so much faith. I feel like working with her will be more than just having a child-for me- it will be a time of spiritual growth, and I look forward to finding strength within me that I didn't know I had. I feel good about it. But she still told me to pray about it before I made my final decision. (even though I'm quite sure it's already made). :)
I believe with all my heart, that every woman knows what is best for her and her baby. I believe women in general are blessed to be able to be extra-sensitive to the spirit-- and that is why motherhood is so beautiful. For me, I feel a connection to this woman- (i know i may sound crazy) --and I trust her. More importantly, I trust my Heavenly Father, and no matter what happens I know He is in control of when people enter and leave this world. I trust Him. And I'm so excited to be on this journey! I'm nervous, and I'm nauseous, but I'm happy. (and hungry).
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Big News....Like the biggest ever....
So guess what y'all?
I'm preggars! I'm a mommy. I have a baby on the way. The whole 9 yards, or should I say, 9 months. Only, now I'm down to only 7 ish months left. I have a mini Iverson currently being made right now inside me. For real folks- this is the realest deal you'll ever hear of. haha.
I've known for a few weeks now, and I'm only 8 weeks along, but I've been telling people because even if worse came to worse and I had to re-tell everyone bad news, the good news is just so exciting that I have to share it. And, I have faith that everything is going to work out.
I'm so mixed with feelings right now, it's exciting/scary/unbelievable/crazy/wonderful all at the same time. According to online due date calculators (since their SO reliable...:)) I am due in the middle of December, real close to my buddy Charlee's b-day actually. I don't care of it's a boy or a girl. Initially I wanted a girl, then thinking about a boy I'd love that too so I dont know I'll just be happy with whatever we get :) Of course Colten wants a boy-in fact he's already referring to it as Garrett. If it's a boy the name is already decided. Easy, done. Colten's middle name, then my dad's middle name/grandpas first name, put em together and you get:
Garrett Wayne Iverson
I'm preggars! I'm a mommy. I have a baby on the way. The whole 9 yards, or should I say, 9 months. Only, now I'm down to only 7 ish months left. I have a mini Iverson currently being made right now inside me. For real folks- this is the realest deal you'll ever hear of. haha.
I've known for a few weeks now, and I'm only 8 weeks along, but I've been telling people because even if worse came to worse and I had to re-tell everyone bad news, the good news is just so exciting that I have to share it. And, I have faith that everything is going to work out.
I'm so mixed with feelings right now, it's exciting/scary/unbelievable/crazy/wonderful all at the same time. According to online due date calculators (since their SO reliable...:)) I am due in the middle of December, real close to my buddy Charlee's b-day actually. I don't care of it's a boy or a girl. Initially I wanted a girl, then thinking about a boy I'd love that too so I dont know I'll just be happy with whatever we get :) Of course Colten wants a boy-in fact he's already referring to it as Garrett. If it's a boy the name is already decided. Easy, done. Colten's middle name, then my dad's middle name/grandpas first name, put em together and you get:
Garrett Wayne Iverson
I've been told that's a real, good cowboy name. haha. not that we meant for that, but that's great. We like cowboys around here. Well, so what if it's a girl? I know it's silly that we're only 8 wks and got the names already pondered, but the girl option is: Lois Angell, but it's not for sure.
Symptoms: I'm right in the nausea stage. It's AWESOME!!!!! ----not.
At about 6 weeks I was all sorts of crampy but feeling dandy other than that. But now, everything sounds disgusting. But yet I'm hungry approximately 90% of the day, and the hungrier the more nauseated I am, and thus the less likely I want to eat anything. Then when I do eat, if I eat even one bite too much I'm sicker than I was when I started. So basically I just have to snack all day. Carbonation is a dream, - sprite and ginger ale are now my heroes. Soda crackers- I hate you now but somehow you do help. I'm sooooooo glad that I finished school right before the nausea came, cuz it's no bueno. I'm also extremely tired. I literally feel like I could lay in bed all day, but once I get to work it actually helps me feel better. I can smell everything. And things that I have known the flavor of my whole life suddenly they taste different. One thing that sounds consistently gross for some reason- ranch dressing. I have no idea why. I haven't weighed myself in the past few days cuz it's not that fun anymore, but I actually don't think I've really gained anything- but my tummy is already a pudge. I can no longer suck in and have it actually go in. And all my pants fit, but they're just uncomfortable. The only thing Im not a fan of is the nausea, everything else I don't care, but I'm happy to do whatever to bring this baby in the world-including be nauseated.
Bringing baby into the world: speaking of HOW:
The plan as of now is to meet with a midwife. This midwife I've met once before, and she actually delivered one of my sister's last children and he is one healthy lil boy. I don't want to do an at-home birth cuz that seems for me too big of a risk on a first child. However, I want to have the baby at The Birth Sweet in St. George which is only a few blocks away from the women's hospital and it's a cute little house and that's where the midwife that I want works. If for some reason I ended up having the baby in the hospital I would not be devastated. However, the more I learn about natural birth the more it appeals to me- but more than that, it feels right for me. It's felt right for a long time now too, and so that's what we're gonna do. I have my first appointment with her on Thursday! Exciting.
Life's good. and lot's of good things are ahead. :)
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Dinner Conversation
Sammy: "Man, tonight that pop-tart hit the spot of all spots"
Colten (eyes wide): "The spot of all spots!!"
Sammy: "Ya, the spot of all spots, and its a good spot."
Colten: "That IS a good spot"
Sammy: "That's what I thought."
Real Life. Gotta love it.
p.s. we didn't have poptarts for dinner, I had just been craving them for like a week now, and i finally got one out of a vending machine to eat during my class last night, and it tasted so good I felt like stopping at the store on the way home and eating a whole box on my own. Which is weird since we have never bought poptarts, they are not something i normally eat at all. But oh the preservatives, the hard frosting goodness...yum.
Colten (eyes wide): "The spot of all spots!!"
Sammy: "Ya, the spot of all spots, and its a good spot."
Colten: "That IS a good spot"
Sammy: "That's what I thought."
Real Life. Gotta love it.
p.s. we didn't have poptarts for dinner, I had just been craving them for like a week now, and i finally got one out of a vending machine to eat during my class last night, and it tasted so good I felt like stopping at the store on the way home and eating a whole box on my own. Which is weird since we have never bought poptarts, they are not something i normally eat at all. But oh the preservatives, the hard frosting goodness...yum.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Little Miracles Happen Everyday
And they let us know that our Heavenly Father is watching over us.
-when you end up with a few hours to spend on yourself-wasn't on the agenda, but Heavenly Father says... lets switch things around a bit...and suddenly there's a moment of peace.
-your piano solo station comes on pandora (unintentionally) and you remember (oh so happily) that piano music makes ya feel so good!
-you've been thinking, you'd love to get the chance to sit down and have a good talk with a family member (in this case today it was mi mama)-and somehow it just happens
-things at work just go smooth
-you end up getting your homework done before midnight. & you even understood your math quiz thus making the idea of taking the math test a whole lot less stressful.
-you wash your sheets--and then climb into them earlier than usual.
-your husband gets home safely from a trip that to some may have seemed short, but to you it seems a whole lot longer.
-you look at your calendar and realize that this is the month, the month that you finally finish your __ year long trek to an associates degree (haha) and that you are almost done with school. ..you finally can check off a goal you set for yourself-no matter how long it took you.
-when you end up with a few hours to spend on yourself-wasn't on the agenda, but Heavenly Father says... lets switch things around a bit...and suddenly there's a moment of peace.
-your piano solo station comes on pandora (unintentionally) and you remember (oh so happily) that piano music makes ya feel so good!
-you've been thinking, you'd love to get the chance to sit down and have a good talk with a family member (in this case today it was mi mama)-and somehow it just happens
-things at work just go smooth
-you end up getting your homework done before midnight. & you even understood your math quiz thus making the idea of taking the math test a whole lot less stressful.
-you wash your sheets--and then climb into them earlier than usual.
-your husband gets home safely from a trip that to some may have seemed short, but to you it seems a whole lot longer.
-you look at your calendar and realize that this is the month, the month that you finally finish your __ year long trek to an associates degree (haha) and that you are almost done with school. ..you finally can check off a goal you set for yourself-no matter how long it took you.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
I was reading today...
out of Daughters In My Kingdom. On page 79, President Hugh B. Brown (my relative...sweet) spoke about Relief Society women in other countries during World War II and he said something beautiful, something I had to share...
"To kneel in prayer with these women and to hear them thank God for their simple blessings, for the preservation of their lives and the lives of their loved ones, and for their scanty provisions and their windowless homes is at once an inspiration and a reproof to many of us whose material blessings far exceed any enjoyed here, but who frequently complain at being deprived of a few luxuries"
I have to admit I have complained of being deprived of a few luxuries. One of those luxuries being, TIME.... my last post.... ya, but there's a reason these books are published. It's so that when some young gal is feeling stressed out, and she finds time to sit in the tub, and she looks over and sees this book sitting on her nightstand, she takes it--and she only reads a few pages---and suddenly her perspective is better! Suddenly she feels humbled, rather than the pride that was maybe unintentionally but undoubtedly there in her heart when she got up that morning. And because she read just a little bit, her attitude is a little bit better for that day, and maybe she'll smile at someone because of it, and they'll feel better about their day. And everything for a moment, was just a little bit better. :)
"To kneel in prayer with these women and to hear them thank God for their simple blessings, for the preservation of their lives and the lives of their loved ones, and for their scanty provisions and their windowless homes is at once an inspiration and a reproof to many of us whose material blessings far exceed any enjoyed here, but who frequently complain at being deprived of a few luxuries"
I have to admit I have complained of being deprived of a few luxuries. One of those luxuries being, TIME.... my last post.... ya, but there's a reason these books are published. It's so that when some young gal is feeling stressed out, and she finds time to sit in the tub, and she looks over and sees this book sitting on her nightstand, she takes it--and she only reads a few pages---and suddenly her perspective is better! Suddenly she feels humbled, rather than the pride that was maybe unintentionally but undoubtedly there in her heart when she got up that morning. And because she read just a little bit, her attitude is a little bit better for that day, and maybe she'll smile at someone because of it, and they'll feel better about their day. And everything for a moment, was just a little bit better. :)
Saturday, March 24, 2012
So excited for summer.
So, let me just give you a shpill of my schedule this last week.
Monday- Math 9am, Work Noon till 10pm
Tuesday- Work noon till 5ish, make recipe and take to YW activity, then finish homework.
Wednesday-Math 9am, Work noon till 430, drive to neighboring town for 2 1/2 hr class just to finish, drive back and go back to work for meeting/training that went till approx 11pm
Thursday-work at 8 AM till 1230 AM....yeah. oh and sell out for 5 midnight shows...665 people.....wasn't planning on being at work that long, and therefore my cousin and his lovely wife came and stayed at our house, and we only had one clean towel. and it was a beach towel. hubby was supposed to be home and clean since i was going to be at work. he's a workaholic too. great. im pretty sure they still love us though. sorry john and hailey.
Friday-unexpectedly called in to work, 10 AM ish till 6 ish. Finally got a break but went back and watched The Hunger Games (which I most definitely approve of)
Saturday- up at 7am to realize that i forgot that today is the last day to take a math 1050 test and that i also was planning on working at two different jobs today. So, to the BT about 830/9am, work till 2, rush to testing center, take test that takes me hour and a half, back to BT, for a little bit, then home to change shirts and head to my other job, which is about a 7 hr shift that doesn't end until the AM.
Oh, somewhere amongst all this, i snuck in some laundry- just so you all dont think we're gross. And my wonderful hubby did do some cleaning around the house. He is amazing.
Also among this I am now behind in my other class, and have an upcoming crazy work schedule again this week. I do the scheduling! how does this work! oh ya, life. it happens. And I've got a million other extras beyond all that I'm already running myself into the ground to try and do, that keep coming up. I don't wanna be bored, and I'm grateful that I'm not, I'm just sayin my brain is going a little bit crazy. oh, and i'm teaching a lesson tomorrow---again I'm grateful for that, in fact, teaching YW is my favorite calling thus far, and I love it, I just wish I was able to let my mind ponder more about YW lessons than math.
Yay for graduation coming up for me. And thankfulness- for the Lord knowing what I need better than anyone else and for His adding little miracles to my life everyday. even if my everyday is crazy.
Monday- Math 9am, Work Noon till 10pm
Tuesday- Work noon till 5ish, make recipe and take to YW activity, then finish homework.
Wednesday-Math 9am, Work noon till 430, drive to neighboring town for 2 1/2 hr class just to finish, drive back and go back to work for meeting/training that went till approx 11pm
Thursday-work at 8 AM till 1230 AM....yeah. oh and sell out for 5 midnight shows...665 people.....wasn't planning on being at work that long, and therefore my cousin and his lovely wife came and stayed at our house, and we only had one clean towel. and it was a beach towel. hubby was supposed to be home and clean since i was going to be at work. he's a workaholic too. great. im pretty sure they still love us though. sorry john and hailey.
Friday-unexpectedly called in to work, 10 AM ish till 6 ish. Finally got a break but went back and watched The Hunger Games (which I most definitely approve of)
Saturday- up at 7am to realize that i forgot that today is the last day to take a math 1050 test and that i also was planning on working at two different jobs today. So, to the BT about 830/9am, work till 2, rush to testing center, take test that takes me hour and a half, back to BT, for a little bit, then home to change shirts and head to my other job, which is about a 7 hr shift that doesn't end until the AM.
Oh, somewhere amongst all this, i snuck in some laundry- just so you all dont think we're gross. And my wonderful hubby did do some cleaning around the house. He is amazing.
Also among this I am now behind in my other class, and have an upcoming crazy work schedule again this week. I do the scheduling! how does this work! oh ya, life. it happens. And I've got a million other extras beyond all that I'm already running myself into the ground to try and do, that keep coming up. I don't wanna be bored, and I'm grateful that I'm not, I'm just sayin my brain is going a little bit crazy. oh, and i'm teaching a lesson tomorrow---again I'm grateful for that, in fact, teaching YW is my favorite calling thus far, and I love it, I just wish I was able to let my mind ponder more about YW lessons than math.
Yay for graduation coming up for me. And thankfulness- for the Lord knowing what I need better than anyone else and for His adding little miracles to my life everyday. even if my everyday is crazy.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Last day of Preschool... again?
I'm not sure what my last day of preschool was like when I was actually a preschooler, but today was pretty rough. I've grown to love these little kids, and I come home and to work constantly sharing what happened at preschool. I love kids. They're so sweet-and so pure-and so straight up! (They tell you exactly what they think of you, but yet they're also the definition of forgiving, there's a lot I've learned from them)
Anyway, last stories I have about the preschool---I have to blog them.
So, today at rug time, one little boy (a very obnoxious but cute one) raised his hand and said he needed to sing "teacher" a song. So he sang,
"Twinkle Twinkle little star, how I wonder what...YOU ATE FOR BREAKFAST!!!"
Talk about a future class clown, the other kids just roared with laughter! And, after that, the rest of the 2 1/2 hours were filled with repeats of twinkle twinkle little star.
Love it.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Whew. And another great story.
February has been crazy. work, school,/preschool, and, well, life! It's been so much easier with a planner though. Holy cow what was I thinking ever living life without some sort of a planner. Its helped so much to keep me straight with what homework assignments due when, and where I'm supposed to be and why. I used to use one in high school, and after that I figured my life wasn't as crazy (which it really wasn't too bad) but this semester and last semester have been whacko. Last semester was the whole 2 jobs thing, and there's just always a lot going on.
My YW Pres. said to me a couple weeks ago, "you and your husband are just everywhere! I see you at church, I see you Tues nights, I see your husband on the tractor on the field in front of my house,I see you at the theater, and now I'm seeing you both here!" (this was at the Lincoln Day breakfast at which we listened to Orrin Hatch, who I'm a fan of. we listened to a lot of Republicans, and it was all real good but to be honest I was so tired I can't remember all of it...I really really like Senator Mike Lee but he couldn't be there but the guy who represented him still gave a great speech)...ANYWAY, i could list my schedule but why would I want to go over it again, just know that its busy.
But, it will start slowing down soon...like this coming week. I purposely squashed my preschool lab hours all into February so I could be done soon and so I won't have to go back after next week. It's exciting but oh so sad I love those little kids. I dont think I ever wanna be a preschool teacher, but this class helped me learn so much for when I'll be a mom one day...and simply just for church callings in the primary I feel like I could totally guide kids a lot better than I used to before. (hence the name of the class, Child Guidance) And I still have a half a semester to learn more about kids. I love it! I'm not sayin I'm a genius at this stuff I just feel like I graduated the Kindergarten of Child Guidance.
Then, after this semester....I think I'm gonna be done with school. At least for a while... I'll have my Associates, and over the summer and fall I'm gonna finish MT and yeah. Its gonna be good I think. Part of me wants to go on full time with school and just rock the education world and yadda yadda yadda...(this is long time comin to cuz i realized the other day I think my lil' sister and brother and I played more "office" than we did "house" so maybe I was just a career driven little girl?) But there's a bigger part of me that yearns (that's right, yearns) to be at home. Just being a wife, daughter, sister, YW leader, Visiting Teacher, friend, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, and aunt is a lot to focus on, and lots to be proud of. Not to mention one day adding to the list "mother." (not yet, trust me y'all will know when that day will come...) However, rather than delving more into that subject on a serious note, (even though its a great subject) I have a funny story... as usual:)
Were sitting at Ma and Pa Iverson's a couple weeks ago. We're all sitting around having various conversations about this and that, most likely business/money cuz let's face it the us Iversons got that part down. (I've learned so much about business since being a part of this family it's a great thing) Anyway, so we're chillin, and the conversation is kindof slowing down and I notice a friend of the family who we all love-but who can be random at times- gets up and walks over to me and puts his hand on my belly and says "How far along?" *silence* me: "Um, I'm not actually pregnant" that was exactly what I said, which thinking about it now kindof makes it seem like I was being nice...as if i could have added "...despite the current state of my body that would make you believe that I was" even though that's not true at all because I weigh less than I did in highschool (not a lot less, but less haha) Anyway, we all just busted a gut laughing, what else could you do? it was SO awkward, but SO funny at the same time and frankly I love that it happened because it's a great story! I wasn't offended in the least because again, I don't think I look pregnant. He is a great kid too, and if it had been anyone else it would've maybe come out with a different ending, but coming from him it brought us all laughs. Good times at the Iverson Home on Sunday evenings! Great stories are bound to happen.
My YW Pres. said to me a couple weeks ago, "you and your husband are just everywhere! I see you at church, I see you Tues nights, I see your husband on the tractor on the field in front of my house,I see you at the theater, and now I'm seeing you both here!" (this was at the Lincoln Day breakfast at which we listened to Orrin Hatch, who I'm a fan of. we listened to a lot of Republicans, and it was all real good but to be honest I was so tired I can't remember all of it...I really really like Senator Mike Lee but he couldn't be there but the guy who represented him still gave a great speech)...ANYWAY, i could list my schedule but why would I want to go over it again, just know that its busy.
But, it will start slowing down soon...like this coming week. I purposely squashed my preschool lab hours all into February so I could be done soon and so I won't have to go back after next week. It's exciting but oh so sad I love those little kids. I dont think I ever wanna be a preschool teacher, but this class helped me learn so much for when I'll be a mom one day...and simply just for church callings in the primary I feel like I could totally guide kids a lot better than I used to before. (hence the name of the class, Child Guidance) And I still have a half a semester to learn more about kids. I love it! I'm not sayin I'm a genius at this stuff I just feel like I graduated the Kindergarten of Child Guidance.
Then, after this semester....I think I'm gonna be done with school. At least for a while... I'll have my Associates, and over the summer and fall I'm gonna finish MT and yeah. Its gonna be good I think. Part of me wants to go on full time with school and just rock the education world and yadda yadda yadda...(this is long time comin to cuz i realized the other day I think my lil' sister and brother and I played more "office" than we did "house" so maybe I was just a career driven little girl?) But there's a bigger part of me that yearns (that's right, yearns) to be at home. Just being a wife, daughter, sister, YW leader, Visiting Teacher, friend, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, and aunt is a lot to focus on, and lots to be proud of. Not to mention one day adding to the list "mother." (not yet, trust me y'all will know when that day will come...) However, rather than delving more into that subject on a serious note, (even though its a great subject) I have a funny story... as usual:)
Were sitting at Ma and Pa Iverson's a couple weeks ago. We're all sitting around having various conversations about this and that, most likely business/money cuz let's face it the us Iversons got that part down. (I've learned so much about business since being a part of this family it's a great thing) Anyway, so we're chillin, and the conversation is kindof slowing down and I notice a friend of the family who we all love-but who can be random at times- gets up and walks over to me and puts his hand on my belly and says "How far along?" *silence* me: "Um, I'm not actually pregnant" that was exactly what I said, which thinking about it now kindof makes it seem like I was being nice...as if i could have added "...despite the current state of my body that would make you believe that I was" even though that's not true at all because I weigh less than I did in highschool (not a lot less, but less haha) Anyway, we all just busted a gut laughing, what else could you do? it was SO awkward, but SO funny at the same time and frankly I love that it happened because it's a great story! I wasn't offended in the least because again, I don't think I look pregnant. He is a great kid too, and if it had been anyone else it would've maybe come out with a different ending, but coming from him it brought us all laughs. Good times at the Iverson Home on Sunday evenings! Great stories are bound to happen.
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