I got bangs. Songs. Pregnancy.

But I'm not taking a picture. Sorry. I would feel too cheesy. That's just me though. I like it when people change their hair and take pictures and show everyone. But not me. Then again, I am a different sort.

I really like them. Weird huh. I have gotten straight across bangs once or twice before in my life, but didn't feel  like they worked. Now that I'm prego, ANYTHING, will work. Anything will make me feel a smidge cuter. Cuz I feel kindof....not myself. My body is not my own, what can I say? Then again I guess it never has been huh....deep meaning there if you got it.

Colten likes the bangs. He even said he thinks he has a new love affair going on for me. I pulled them back to wash my face and his surprised look accompanied, "THERE SHE IS! That's the Sammy I've been looking  at since I've been home! That's so weird" LOL. I love my husband. forever and ever amen. I can tell he genuinely likes them so it helps me like them and thus this bang experience has been better. (...that phrase is awkward...i'm leaving it)

BEWARE. I'm telling you this in an all-seriousness sort of way, even though what I'm about to warn you about will lead you all to directly disobey and go find out what I'm talking about. BUT I'll still try anyway.

There is a new song by Taylor Swift called, "Ronan" If you want to bawl your eyes out for a long time, then go listen to it. If you would rather not cry and emotionally reconnect yourself to the beauty of motherhood and all of its preciousness and connectedness to the beauty of life and how short it can be, then be careful when you listen to any country station because this song will come out of nowhere and getcha. It'll getcha good.

It's pretty much in the same realm of Reba McEntire's "If I Had Only Known"...also gets me everytime, but yet I still find myself purposely searching for it on youtube. It's a beautiful song.

Well, my back hurts. My stomach hurts (generally, but not every second of  the day). My pelvis hurts. I'm tired. I'm always hungry. AND basically at only 28 weeks, I'm feeling a little like--okay pregnancy no fun anymore. But, I want this little girl to stay in as long as she needs to so she's healthy, happy, etc. But pregnancy is just hard in general I decided. Colten said, "doesn't sound like you're gonna be wantin' to get pregnant a whole lot" Sure does sound like it. But then some days I wanna have a house full of children. BUT Most nights I have to walk to the bathroom at all hours of the night hunched over with crazy hair and a look on my face that screams, what happened to me? where is the body I spent the first 21 years of my life in? why do I have to go to the bathroom again? And why is sleep not making my back feel better? 

(side note) And then my next thought is always: Oh ya, gotta let puppy out, if i have restroom needs he probably does to...And then I go stand in the cold grass while puppy does his thing.

Ok, Ok. I will pull back the drama and sarcasm. I am glad I'm pregnant. I love this baby more than anything in the world. I never thought I'd say this but, I want to get up all hours of the night with this baby girl. I want to change her diapers, and take care of her. All of those things that I've heard so many say they are not ready for--I'm ready for. Because I have a real baby inside of me whom I love and adore and will continue sacrificing for. My pregnancy has not been near as bad as what many women have experienced. And the truth is, there are still lots of times when I think, I could do this again. We will see how I feel after birth. :) haha.

A word on that too---I'm not scared of labor. I don't want to be either because if I am then that would make going through it naturally much harder. I have never felt contractions, and so I have nothing to relate and psych myself out over. I don't want to be naive either, I know it will all hurt and it will be hard. However, I have been blessed to hear many stories and be given great advice that has guided my thoughts in a positive direction. My body was made to do this. I can do it. Just because I've never done it before does not make it impossible. My sister had a dream that my labor and delivery went smoothly (gracias for that information cuz it added more positive thoughts to my thinking). My mom also had a dream about my labor and delivery---she has always been famous for her honesty---and she said when it got really hard I wanted it all to stop and pretty much had a freak out so she had to leave the room... thanks for that info mom:) haha. I'm still not scared though. I'm kindof excited. I want to work through it, and really have this baby. (Who still doesn't have a name...)