Almost done and some good thoughts.

38 weeks. and 1 day. My favorite number is 4. However, at this time in my life I don't want to see anything with a 4 or a 0 in it, because I do not want to go another 2 weeks. I'll be glad if she comes tomorrow, 12-4-12. That'd be sweet. Cross your fingers.

I just have to say, its amazing how much pregnancy changes you. Over the course of the year, I have become a different person in so many ways. I can't yet even imagine how motherhood will change me.
But I know it will, and I know it will be for the better.

Before we got pregnant, and before we had decided to try doing so, I was kinda...unsatisfied. I just kept rehearsing in my mind why I wasn't good enough, or hadn't done enough with my life up until that point...(because I was so old...not) But I think to a point I had that mindset. Then the Lord made it clear we were to have a baby. And thus we are going to have a baby. And it's amazing how my mindset has completely changed. I still have dreams and goals that will help me in other ways to become a better person. For example, I don't think I'm done with school. Surprisingly, I enjoy it too much to be done. And who knows what else lies in store for me individually. But, my life as a whole is, and will be forever for someone else. I felt a little of this change when Colten and I got married, but I was more selfish then, (emphasis on more, I'm still working on that part) and I knew that my life would be lived with him and shared with him, and that our new journey was going to be forever---but I still had a strong sense of my own identity, and my own journey. Since becoming pregnant that journey and that identity are not gone, but they are not focused on me anymore. And it feels good. I have yet to see this little baby girl's face, but she is a part of me.

How amazing is that?

She is everything and more to me. And my heart honestly fills with gratitude, that my husband could give me such a precious gift. I don't quite know how to be a mom. In so many ways I'm just wingin' it. But my biggest hope, my biggest dream, and the goal of my lifetime is that the epitome of my success will have been motherhood. Because other than our individual ability to come unto Christ, and be perfected in Him, and our journeys to become like our Father in Heaven, does anything else matter? I mean seriously, our spiritual journeys, and our relationships with our spouses and children, does anything else hold that much weight or that much importance? I could list the hundreds of things we are supposed "to do" as Latter-Day-Saints. But if we lack the perspective in which our family comes first, then where have we gotten? Heavenly Father's work, and His glory is to bring to pass the eternal life of man. (Moses 1:39). His work, and His glory, is His family. Our family. (hence why temple work, family history work, and missionary work are all so extremely important). So, I too have now made it my work, and my glory, to teach this little girl all the good things. To help her become her very best self, and help her know her Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. That is what matters. So, if I never finish school, it's okay. If all I ever do in this life, is be a great mother, and a great wife, and by doing so serve my Father in Heaven, then I'll have done pretty good. If I can do a couple of things here and there for my friends and neighbors, that's great. But before anyone else, I will serve my Heavenly Father, and my family.

I have so many great examples around me. Amazing family members, amazing in-laws. I will tell ya this much, I'm no longer unsatisfied. I am so thrilled, and so excited to be a mom.

And now that I have shared thoughts as deep as the ocean itself, I really wish I would just go into labor.

And I keep hearing this word over and over, but I don't know what it means. Can you guys help me? I think it's spelled....patience?