Saturday, February 12, 2011

Thoughts. What do you think?

There were like massive awesome moments of today. Example #1- going to the temple with some cool gals. Sammi, Charlee, Brittany, and I went today to the most beautiful place in the world. I have loads and loads to learn as far as temples go, but I know one thing, I'm pretty sure the feeling there is a lot what heavens gonna be like- sweeeeeet.

Thoughts of today: As a result of an interesting book which I am still reading, (the survivors club) I have come to some conclusions and I wanna voice my opinion. To not be exact- but to tell the story quickly and efficiently-- there was a 72 year old woman who lived in an apartment complex that she managed in somewhere in california. One night she heard noises outside and went out to check on things. There was an extreeemely drunk man out there. She told him to stop whatever it was he was doing- and he followed her back to her apartment, broke in, and did to her things that should not be mentioned in detail on this blog. In other words, he was inappropriate enough to go to jail for it. Well, although the doctors took care of her, she ended up dying approximately 1-2 months later of a number of problems, pnuemonia (sp?) "brought on by advanced lung cancer and the failure of her heart and kidneys" (pg 243) ( don't worry this post will end positively) So, her lawyer decides that he's gonna charge the drunk guy with homicide too----why you ask? because this lawyer claims that the man not only hurt the woman, but he "killed her will to live."

(jesse i'm using more paragraphs :) love ya ) Now I wanna know what you guys think, really, tell me. because this is how I feel, you can't kill someone elses will to live. Before we came to this earth, we fought for agency, or the ability to choose- for lack of the better definition i have at home for this word. This was a gift given to us that we can really only take away from ourselves-- right? They say that the woman in the story was a cheerful, happy, fun loving woman until she went through this horrible trial. AND not to say that I would react a ton differently, but she chose to lose her will to live- if in fact that was what really killed her. She turned into a very sad person, and that was how she chose to look at her situation. I personally feel that although this man did horrible things to an innocent woman, he can't take away her will to survive. No one can take that from me, no one can take it from... anyone else but themselves! We choose how we will react to every situation. We choose how to survive. We choose to turn that frown upside down people!

I know one thing for sure, on either side of the story this would just be a tough situation. My heart goes out to anyone who has suffered like this woman did. But, trials come- but they also go! that's the beautiful part! they come, and then they go. yeah, they may come back, but they will leave again. and life is about enjoying to the fullest the moments that bring joy. One of the most beautiful parts- is agency- the blessing is in the part where either we choose to let he moment bring us down, or we let the moment make us soar. Our desires direct our agency, and the choices we make directly reflect what we really want out of this life. So, all I'm sayin is make good choices. it all comes down to that. Our moms were right. Go figure.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Oh, P.S.

I'm in the process of deleting my facebook. I have to remove all the stuff that has ever been put on. Just getting the word out- no one get offended I love you all I just really have a deep hatred for facebook. I just can't stand it. I once heard a statistic that like 40-50% of all facebookers check their facebook 1st thing in the morning. I wanted to puke. I just don't wanna be a part of something that is turning into too much. Idk. the truth is I honestly don't think negatively about anyone who has one because it's hard to find someone who doesn't have one. I just can't stand it for me, i just don't want it anymore. So, if anyone else has deleted theirs and they have advice let me know. the good thing about facebook is that it does keep ya connected to people you normally wouldn't keep as close of contact with. but my blog helps me do that, and I figure that's not how the world ever was before so why do I need to do so now? IDK call me weird, old-fashioned maybe, whatever, but I just get a bad feeling about it and lately its gotten worse like I need to delete it. So, in the next little while if you go to check mine and you find i'm not on it's because its been deleted not because i deleted you. :) so no worries.

Humbling. And even Empowering.

This isn't a post about one big huge momentous happening in which I was shot down into humble territory. It is a post about little moments that remind me how grateful I am- or rather, how grateful I should be. I've been reading a book called, "The Survivors Club" and I was gonna post somethin-or-uther about it at the end. But I'm halfway through and just thought I'd throw somethin out about it. I've read about people who have survived ridiculous events such as: falling 30000 feet out of an airplane, (p.s. the airplane exploded so she already survived the bomb) landing in dirt, and living. (True Story) A woman who was attacked by a cougar- i can't remember the statistics for this exactly but just know it RARELY happens and also know that the cougar basically chewed on her face during the experience so it's crazy that she survived. A woman hit by a 43000 pound truck while riding her bike- her injuries included : broken: neck, clavicle, scapula, sacrum, all right side ribs, sternum, patellas, right tibia, right fibula, and pelvis. Oh and it severed her aorta, collapsed her lungs, liver was shoved into chest cavity, diaphragm ruptured and her kidneys were bruised. When the doctors calculated her likelyhood of living it literally was a zerrro. There are also people who have managed to get out of crashed and burning planes just in time, people who survive the ocean all alone and freezing, and one gal who survived the Holocaust- and what's crazy about her is how she got out, the nazis thought she was dead because she was so tiny and sick looking so they through her into the pile of corpses- where not too long after some other good people came and saw her waving her hand and saved her. Most of these were women, I didn't mean to do that but it's true there are a lot of women who have survived a lot of junk. These stories are amazing- they are no doubt humbling. BUT then, I go to church, or I talk to folks at work, and I realize how many survivors I talk to everyday. People who have survived things I don't even want to think about. Even if they don't deal with the physical things, they have dealt with heartbreak all the same, they have dealt with loneliness, and they have felt the pain that comes around everyday just from being sad. Now remember this is now a blog about positive things, and so although the above mentioned experiences may have seemed negative they REALLY are positve. Why? Because. God loves us. How do we pull that truth out of all this heartache? Because He gives each of us trials to see if we'll survive em. And you know what? it makes us more like Him every time we do. And that's what He really wants, is for us to understand, to learn, and to become. My trials have been trials specifically for Sammy-for me- and they are still teaching me what I need to learn- and life is so much about what I learn from them and how i let it affect my choices. So anyway, I'm sending a shout out to all the survivors out there that have survived what may be percieved as big or small- they are survivors nonetheless. My family is full of survivors and I'm glad i have such great examples to look to. I'm thankful for the things I've "survived"(though they may be mental more than physical 95% of the time) it's good for me. It means I have the trust of Heavenly Father who knows I can work through anything. The same goes for everyone who reads this, Surviving is different- it has many forms, but it reaches inside a person and forces them to choose to pull out the divinely inherited traits they have and use them to become more like Him- Or to choose to leave what's inside of them alone and pretend it's not there because it seems easier. The world puts a certain pressure on the people living here and now that hasn't really been there before. Pull through it though, don't let pressures weigh you down. In the simplest of terms, You Can Do It!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

What science says about how to be happy.

Well, here are some more positive thinking things. I found this list while doing a smidge of research for one of my classes. Part of me thought- well thank you Time Magazine, aka Captain Obvious, for telling me "eight steps to living a more satisfying life." Then I thought, how simple- but yet how true it is. What I'm about to tell you just may be the key. Or the secret. Or whatever you wanna call it. Bottomline: these are beneficial for anyone, anywhere, anytime.

To give credit where it's due, this is from the artcle "The New Science of Happiness" from above mentioned Time Magazine and it's author is Claudia Wallis, and it was written way back in January of 2005.

The list goes as follows:

1-Count Your Blessings (have we heard this one before?)
2- Practice acts of kindness
3-Savor Life's Joys
4- Thank a Mentor
5- Learn to Forgive (this includes yourself)
6- Invest time and energy in friends and family
7- Take care of your body
8- Develop strategies for coping with stress and hardships
We all make mistakes, life is not about being perfect it's about working towards being better than what you were yesterday. And then it's about if you happen to be worse than you were yesterday, start over! Keep going! Keep moving forward! I've had a bad habit of holding on to negative things. Whether it's something I did, something someone did to me, something life brought to my plate, or whatever, I have tended to focus on those. I don't know when I started doing this, but I wasn't always this way. However, it's time to think happier thoughts. I have had bad days and I know I will have many more. But, I have so much to be thankful for that its not worth it anymore to sweat the small stuff. First off, I have the gospel, Second, I have my amazing husband. Then ya add on the amazing people in my life who I love so much. Family, Friends, Co-workers, Ward members, everyone. I have not been the best that I always could have been. But again, This is me trying to be better. Good, Better, Best right? Each of the above 8 topics all connect to the gospel and that solidifies how I feel about my testimony of my Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ and Their plan for us.
One of the other bits of research that I read about showed how studies say that surprisingly (or not) relationships are really what people look forward to, find strength in, and gain satisfaction from. Overall happiness comes from the people we love and are connected to. Isn't that a beautiful thing? It's so true. Take away everything, but the people we know are who matter most. Even though we may do things to either intentionally or unintentionally to hurt others- thats where the #5 comes in. That's so key. If I hold onto the anger I have towards someone, it only eats at me. It has no effect on them. That's what I've learned. So, as I keep learning what to "Do" and what to "Don't" in this life I'll keep trying to be better. Because I'm hoping to spend this life being happy :) Thank you science for proving what most of us already knew, but needed some reminding about.