This is the topic that kept me up last night. I may have been awakened by a baby who is leaving me no room to sleep peacefully throughout the night without taking a visit to the little girl's room. And then the same beautiful baby in this belly of mine also needed food. Needless to say, I am awake every night for various lengths of time. Which is essentially what brought me to this subject. This miracle pregnancy, (for I truly believe every pregnancy is a miracle) may be a beautiful and a wonderful and an exciting thing, it has also been a trial. As most women would agree, pregnancy is NOT easy peasy lemon squeezy.
BUT, it gives us a gift which requires more gratitude than I think I could ever explain. It's a gift of life, a gift of love, a gift that is eternal. This hard 9 months brings about my most cherished calling in life...motherhood.
Unfortunately I do not wake up every morning with those kinds of thoughts in my head. The first phrase that typically enters my mind is usually, "Oh girl please go back to sleep!" But then I get up. Except on those awesome days daddy is home and he lets me sleep a little longer :)
As I pondered all of this, I realized every miracle, blessing, and trial in my life has all been connected to each other. Whether it was because of a "trial of my faith" that I received a miracle, or if because of a blessing in my life I also had trials that went with it. Sometimes the pattern just goes crazy and life looks something like this:
Miracle. Trial. Blessing. Blessing. Blessing. TRIAL. trial. trial. .....miracle. Blessing. trial. etc.
The miracle that I feel when I am able to sing a song and know that one heart was touched. But tied with that often comes the feelings of nervousness, and the all too familiar headache that I get afterward because I get so stressed out about it sometimes. Especially the journey of song that happens after having a baby. Waiting for my voice to get back to normal, and not feeling as sure of myself was and will be hard again. But as hard and emotional as it can be, it's worth it. Because I see someone who was listening and somehow I know, that I was an instrument for the Lord to touch his or her heart. And that's all I need to keep singing.
The miracle that is a child. I've mentioned pregnancy, (cuz that's kindof on my mind all day everyday) but to see my little girl grow and learn to talk and walk. But with that comes potty-training, repetition of books that I would at this point feel very comfortable about throwing into the fire, and of course the all too familiar newborn stage that I'm positive takes superpowers to endure. But we do it because we love it. She knows how to blow away my frustrations as if they were little feathers, by just giving me a smile and saying the phrase daddy taught her... "Yeah, Buddy!" :)
Every one of us experiences trials big and small, but somehow if we are on the right path--it seems like Heavenly Father knows how to keep us moving forward if only we with look with an eye of faith and see His hand in all things. Sometimes my miracles are as simple as me finally getting a break during naptime when my toddler hasn't taken a nap in two days. Sometimes it's just that feeling of how grateful I am to have such an amazing husband, and the miracle is as simple as me waking up next to him every morning.
The more hardships I hear from other's lives I watch my blessings become miracles...because they mean that much more to me knowing that I didn't have to go through what another person may have had to endure.
"If you are on the right path, it will always be uphill. The Lord is anxious to lead us to the safety of higher ground" -President Henry B. Eyring
I suppose my mind tends to lean towards the negative...and so when the world is quiet, the Lord has to teach me about the beauty of this life, and specifically my own life. I really like sleep, but again the trial of bags under my eyes comes with the blessing of me waking up with a smile on my face.
"Don't be gloomy. Even if you are not happy, put a smile on your face. This is the gospel of good news, this is a message of joy, this is the thing of which the angels sang when they sang of the birth of the Son of God. This is a work of eternal salvation; this is something to be happy and excited about. You won't get anywhere if you go with a frown on your face" -President Gordon B. Hinckley
I'm so excited to meet this new little girl growing everyday inside me. If you've been around me this summer and I've seemed gloomy, I'm sorry I got a little like Eeyore when I was sick. I promise happier me is here. I don't feel like I need to tie a trash bag to my belt in case I throw up anymore.I'm feeling...not normal...but certainly a lot more like I can turn my frown upside down :)
I'm thankful for my miracles-blessings-trials and all, because it helps me know the Lord just loves me.