Being Engaged. Updates. and Random Thoughts.

Well well well.

Living life as an engaged couple. what can i say? the happiest time of yer life? yes AND no. haha.

Especially after 2 looooong years. It's amazing to really think about what's ahead for Colten and I. Sealed forever? FOREVER?! YESSSSSSSS.

and i can't wait.

but that's the tricky part folks, is even tho it's been 2 years of a life of waiting, ya got him here, and ya gotta wait some more! dangit. 3 weeks and 4 days still to go and i'm going crazy. I wanna be married to my best friend. I wanna NOT say goodbye at 10:30 (we're tryin to be good and set a curfew although some nights we are wild and stay till 11 haha) I want to be able to stay and just be with my hubby! Its so crazy though, life's coming at me fast now when for so long it was too slow. It felt like I'd never see him again, and now he's REALLY here, and we're REALLY getting married and it's REALLY happening September 17th, 2010.

I feel like i've been going at 200 miles an hour everyday because i've only got Colten on the brain, were always together, and if were not together we're catching up on what we didn't get done while we were together, and/or at work. Which is another thing, planning a wedding+school starting+both of our Math class situation sucking real bad+work+remembering that I'm gonna have to pack up my room+realizing that I still have to actually get the invites out that aren't here yet+thinking about the people who i may have missed on the list for invites+ again going home alone every night to my parents house+oh idk=kinda crappy.

more on the math subject:basically Colten and I both found out this week that Dixie apparently thinks we're dumb and is making us both take lower math classes. In fact, I may have to retake the math class I've already taken because I didn't take the next harder math class and it's been two years (if that makes sense) so i have to try and test in to math 1050 and come on folks, is that even possible? for me? i really think not. i'm bugged. Colten's bugged. We hate math. Math can go jump off a cliff if ya ask me.

We took Bridals yesterday and it was really hott, but my cousin Amy Bigelow (whose blog is on my blog list) is amazing at photography, and her editing skills are awesome cuz she makes the pic so dramatic. it was so fun hanging out with her and her husband Drew they are sooo funny, and they're fun, and they're just so nice, and I can't wait to see how everything turns out. We went all over the place too, Kolob, the temple, the Dixie red rocks, and a friends orchard. It was cool. She put some of the pics on facebook so check those out if ya want

I'm mainly doing an update tonight cuz so many things have been going on, and i haven't had time to blog. I am just in a daze watching life escalate(sp?) to the most important event of my life up to this point, and really the event that will affect eternity. I feel so blessed to be able to be sealed forever to my best friend. I'm glad we can laugh together over thee dumbest stuff. I'm thankful for the moments we fight (cuz then we get to make up haha) because it shows how much we trust each other to open up and say how we feel knowing the other person will still always love us. I'm contented to know that Colten is a man of God, and that he will always honor his priesthood. I'm grateful that Colten listens to me, that is a quality that will turn our marriage into an eternal marriage because if we can listen to one another then we can teach one another, and as we teach, we will each learn more and grow together as one in the gospel.

Life is just crazy right now. I want to go to the temple. I want to learn more about the gospel. I want to be better. I want to grow and learn and be better with Colten throughout our lives, always changing always flowing (get it- like pocahontus tells us rivers are, "what i like most about rivers is, you can't step in the same river twice, the waters always changing, always flowing" haha) but always progressing! Understanding our imperfections but committing to put every effort into becoming perfect through Christ. Only through Him though, we can't do it alone. we're not perfect, and we can't be without Him, that's why i liked Sammi Beardall's blog about mother's tryin too hard to be perfect cuz she's right y'all needa take some time to yourself and relax, and remember that Christ told us in Mathew 11:28-30 to

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light"

Moroni tells us to (in chap 10 vs 32) "Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love god with all your might, mind, and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God."

That's my favorite scripture. That's my life's goal. Even though I spend too much time in the realm of fear rather than faith (worrying runs in my family) I know that in the big scheme of things everythings gonna be alright (rockabye...haha) Life's meant to be enjoyed, and it's also a test, a test of a lot of things, faith, a desire to follow God's commandments, a follow-through with the best of our abilities to follow God's commandments, and it's a test to see if we can love the blessed people that God has sent us to be with. We show our love for God by showing love to those around us, and that is the center of all good things, Love. Love for Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Understanding of the love Jesus Christ has for each of us and the love our Father in Heaven has for each of us. It doesn't matter what people around us choose, it's not up to us folks! Our Heavenly Father understands our hearts, and He loves us no matter what. I hope that throughout this life, Colten and I, can always convey the love that is in our hearts for each of God's children. I know that I have too many judgemental moments, and that I struggle with understanding the pure love of Christ, but I know that it's real, and that I can recieve charity as a gift from Heavenly Father, and that I can then share it with those around me and they will feel the love I've felt from my Heavenly Father. I also hope, that I can always, always, always, convey the love I have for Colten to him. My hope for our marriage is that we will never stop talking, that we will always keep laughing, and that we will always be able to lean on each other, and that we'll both be able to turn to God to help us along the way.

Well. Well. Well.

Looks like another post goes from sour to sweet. haha. Math doesn't have to go jump off a cliff. but the math policy at dixie still can. I feel better though. I like blogging/journaling. It helps your mind focus on what's really important sometimes. I hope you guys liked my long post. I did :)

and i hope it all made sense...:)