Monday, July 27, 2015

I Can't Handle It.


I can't handle it when I ask my toddler to NOT do something and she deliberately does it anyway.

I can't handle it when I try to put my baby to bed 4 or 5 times and the 6th time I swear she's asleep, I lay her in her crib and my elbow hits the side and wakes her back up. Painful elbow+a trip back to the rocking chair=angry mom.

I can't handle it when I wake up some mornings and our basement abode looks like a literal tsunami took place.

I couldn't handle potty training. Seriously I think we're good now, but for the next kid I'm pretty sure I'm hiring potty trainers- let me know if you're available.

I can't handle when my toddler is cry/whining and tries to tell me what she wants and I have no idea what she's saying.

I often cannot handle getting out of bed to feed lil' baby girl. Again.


I cannot handle when I'm holding my baby and she's snuggled up to my chest, and she reaches her hand  up to touch my face...just to feel it.

I can't handle---I have absolutely no strength against this---when my toddler says, "can you come snuggle with me?" and I lay (awkwardly) in her toddler bed and she says, "Let's sing 'I Am A Child of God"...I give in every time.

I can't handle when my toddler puts both her arms around my neck and holds on tight---I can't understand how such a young child can understand such strong emotions and how she can convey her love in such a simple way.

I can't handle when my baby smiles and laughs at me like I am actually the funniest individual Heavenly Father has placed on this earth...well she might hold me second to her older sister I'm not sure...

I can't handle the cuteness of when these two little girls interact with each other---how I pray they become the closest of I pray they hold on to the simplest yet strongest of emotions of love, forgiveness, and friendship.

I can't handle when my toddler knows whats on the next page of her book about a pig. Cracks me up.

I can't handle when both my kids are squished on my lap...both happy as can be...both just needing some mommy time.

I can't handle being a mom sometimes. Because it's the hardest job I've ever attempted. But my heart also can't handle how much love it feels---it feels so much that it just starts to spill over and run all over and I can't hold back the tears because the love has to come out! Love tears...that's what I'll call em...they show up during those times when I can't handle this 24/7 Amazingly hard and incredibly wonderful job I have of being mom. I get why some people have 19 kids. I get why some feel content with 1. They are hard to care for sometimes (maybe most times) but they are SO easy to love. There's so much love to be felt from these children that if you open your eyes and heart you could never feel dissatisfied. I get why Heavenly Father wants us to be like little children. Their love is unconditional. They forgive me when I forget to be kind, gentle, patient, and loving. They forgive me when I have felt like pulling my hair out...They are patient with me forevermore.

My heart is full, and that feeling in my heart...sometimes...I just can't handle it. I just wonder why I've been entrusted with the care of two of the most beautiful children that God could have ever created. I will always see these two little girls in that way. I will not discredit how fantastic they are, because I will always see them as two of God's princesses. I hope I can teach them that that's who they are. And not the snot-type of princesses. But the humble princesses who know who they are and who will not be anything less or accept anything less. I love them with my whole heart and soul. I want them to know that- and that Heavenly Father also loves them more than I could ever even begin to comprehend...and more than what my heart is even capable of handling.

1 comment:

rick.and.kels said...

this made me teary-eyed, so true. love it :)