It's amazing how one genuine smile from someone can make you feel like taking in a deep breath...and finally really breathing. Of course all of us who are alive, breathe. But some of us have a hard time getting through each day physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually...whatever it may be. But sometimes, one smile, is like a breath of the freshest air you've ever breathed. It's simple.
I may not always say the right thing. I may not always DO the right thing. But I can smile. Even when I'm sad, my heart is still willing to throw out a genuine smile...simply from the fact that even though I may not know you, I know you're a child of God like me. And I know I have struggles so I figure you do too. So if I can't do anything else I will smile, truly smile. And I hope people feel that.
Because I felt it today from someone else. And it made me breathe, like life feels good.
And I'm thankful for that.
Monday, June 9, 2014
Monday, May 26, 2014
A word on, all the important things.
This post probably needs Chapters. That's how full my brain is right now. So many thoughts.
--It's been a while. Life's crazy. Toddlers are a busy job. My little one keeps me on my toes.
I am a writer. I am not very good at putting a label to something, but one thing I've found to be sure is this truth. I have to write. It keeps me sane. And if I keep my mind above the deep thoughts I have then I'm not as happy. I feel like the world has so many distractions to keep me busy. Pinterest, Cellphones, (dumb) Facebook, and Life itself can sometimes become a distraction. Is that a strange concept? I feel like we can get caught up in too much of unimportant life issues and we're so busy problem solving that we don't take a moment to look eternally. Maybe I'm the only who feels this way. Probably not.
Anyhow, I'm always looking for lessons in my life. I have an ongoing journal in my head, and I feel like over the last 4+ months I've continuously started writing something and then I just keep scribbling it out. So today I'm forcing my brain to do what it does best, ponder deeply...and then write. For me, it's therapy. It's relaxing. It's an accomplishment, but it's not something I have to work hard at. (I probably could work harder to make my grammar and punctuation better...)
I've learned lessons about marriage, friendships, hardships, motherhood, and about being myself.
"TREADIN' ON SACRED GROUND"
There is an old country song I heard over the weekend titled, "Sacred Ground" made famous by a band called McBride and the Ride. I'm a sucker for all generations of country.
Here's the part I love about it,
"It's a precious thing you don't know nothin' about
We were joined in the eyes of the Lord
And the eyes of our Hometown
why don't you leave her alone
you're treadin' on sacred ground"
In the world we live in, marriage has to be protected. And I truly think it's not as easy as it used to be. This song is about a man warning another man, but I heard it differently. We should warn whatever comes in the way of our marriages to get outta here, you're treadin' on sacred ground. Meaning, all the above mentioned distractions that are technologically related, and all the other 'stuff' that just gets in the way. It's different for everyone, but Satan finds whatever tools he can to get in and try to destroy the most sacred things in our lives. If he can ruin a marriage, he will. We all know this. But I think sometimes we struggle to see him sneak in. He comes in the forms of whatever is important to this world, money, social status, media, etc. We have to seek out the things of a better world. When it comes to marriages, they are most sacred, and they ought to be most protected.
"If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by." -Elder F. Burton Howard.
That's been pinned once or twice....and thank goodness because it's a beautiful description of what I am tryin to write. Marriage, is something that is supposed to bind us together. We must work hard to make sure it does that, by taking care of it. Making it stronger everyday.
Friendships
I haven't always been a super good friend to everyone. It's not because I'm rude, or because I don't want to be a good friend, I'm just content with my few close friends and the enormous amount of family that I have. According to The Color Code/The People Code, I am a White personality. We're pretty content, and tend to be lazy, and potentiallly not very fun. My second color is Blue, and that's where my need for closeness to people comes from. So it makes sense that I'm really close to my bubble filled with wonderful people, but I'm not real great at branching out.
I'm learning, that there are amazing people out there who I enjoy becoming friends with. Now that I don't work at the theater I don't get as much social interaction outside of my family and the church. But honestly, my testimony of the visiting teaching program has increased 10-fold. It has helped me be a better friend. I love seeing my sisters, and I love all the things I learn from them. Slowly, but surely I'm learning how to be a good friend to everyone.
I'm super thankful to my buddy Charlee Ann, for being a superstar friend since 5th grade. She is that person who seems like she should be one of my sisters. She's always been an example to me of how to be a great friend. Neither one of us has been perfect, but over the years we've taught each other a lot. We will still be calling/texting each other when we're in our 90's. Kids will be like, "what's texting?" And we will be like, "don't worry about it" and we'll push through the arthritis to tell each other something hilarious. And then we'll have to tell the nurses that we need a diaper change.
Hardships
Well all I've learned in this chapter is that hardships come. No matter who ya are or where yer from. They come and they come fast and hard and it sucks. But there's only one way to get through em'... With the help of our Savior Jesus Christ. Simple and sweet. Short but true.
Motherhood and Being Myself
Motherhood is hard. It it's too often that people make us feel like motherhood is not enough. The world teaches that you are not smart enough, you are not bold enough, you are not beautiful enough, and you are certainly not accomplished enough, if you are just a mother.
I beg to differ.
I've recently got caught up in this idea myself, but I was reminded by my mother that motherhood is of ultimate importance. Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough in my life, along with all that I do at home. But my life is at home. And that's the best place for it to be. My mom reminded me that when we get to heaven Heavenly Father isn't going to care as much about our list of accomplishments. He is going to care how we took care of His children. Whether they were the ones at home, or the children He needs us to serve in our wards and neighborhoods. But, if ALL you do is your very best for each one of your kids, you're doing pretty awesome. And that's the message I forgot.
And I don't think it's so much what we "do" as mothers. It's hard to explain, but it's what we become because of motherhood. When we are constantly serving, teaching, and loving, our kids we are doing what Christ did when he was here. And that makes us understand Him. I've had to stop at least 25 times while writing this. That's life with a toddler. If that doesn't teach patience I don't know what does.
The purpose in this life is to become. Become a loving person. Become a spiritual person. Become like our Savior. Become more Godly. Become more humble. Become more patient, teachable, more clean, more true, etc. Motherhood is a catalyst for becoming Godly.
Sadly, Satan has a hold on too many mothers, and just like everything even motherhood, one of the most sacred callings in this life, can become tainted.
So I put this section last on purpose. As a reminder to myself and to all mothers that what you do matters, but more importantly it's enough because of who motherhood is helping you to become. It's special, it's sacred, it's crazy hard, and it's worth it.
Never forget that.
And when it comes to being myself, being a mom is who I am. I am a thinker, a writer, a singer, and I might be a little socially awkward sometimes. But that's who I am and that's Okay. First and foremost I am a mom, to the most beautiful little girl in the whole world. She makes me smile every day. She also makes me scream a little. But then I just have to love her even more for it. I love my job.
Those are my life lessons. Always more to come.
I must go now, to clean the house that has been destroyed during this writing process.
--It's been a while. Life's crazy. Toddlers are a busy job. My little one keeps me on my toes.
I am a writer. I am not very good at putting a label to something, but one thing I've found to be sure is this truth. I have to write. It keeps me sane. And if I keep my mind above the deep thoughts I have then I'm not as happy. I feel like the world has so many distractions to keep me busy. Pinterest, Cellphones, (dumb) Facebook, and Life itself can sometimes become a distraction. Is that a strange concept? I feel like we can get caught up in too much of unimportant life issues and we're so busy problem solving that we don't take a moment to look eternally. Maybe I'm the only who feels this way. Probably not.
Anyhow, I'm always looking for lessons in my life. I have an ongoing journal in my head, and I feel like over the last 4+ months I've continuously started writing something and then I just keep scribbling it out. So today I'm forcing my brain to do what it does best, ponder deeply...and then write. For me, it's therapy. It's relaxing. It's an accomplishment, but it's not something I have to work hard at. (I probably could work harder to make my grammar and punctuation better...)
I've learned lessons about marriage, friendships, hardships, motherhood, and about being myself.
"TREADIN' ON SACRED GROUND"
There is an old country song I heard over the weekend titled, "Sacred Ground" made famous by a band called McBride and the Ride. I'm a sucker for all generations of country.
Here's the part I love about it,
"It's a precious thing you don't know nothin' about
We were joined in the eyes of the Lord
And the eyes of our Hometown
why don't you leave her alone
you're treadin' on sacred ground"
In the world we live in, marriage has to be protected. And I truly think it's not as easy as it used to be. This song is about a man warning another man, but I heard it differently. We should warn whatever comes in the way of our marriages to get outta here, you're treadin' on sacred ground. Meaning, all the above mentioned distractions that are technologically related, and all the other 'stuff' that just gets in the way. It's different for everyone, but Satan finds whatever tools he can to get in and try to destroy the most sacred things in our lives. If he can ruin a marriage, he will. We all know this. But I think sometimes we struggle to see him sneak in. He comes in the forms of whatever is important to this world, money, social status, media, etc. We have to seek out the things of a better world. When it comes to marriages, they are most sacred, and they ought to be most protected.
"If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by." -Elder F. Burton Howard.
That's been pinned once or twice....and thank goodness because it's a beautiful description of what I am tryin to write. Marriage, is something that is supposed to bind us together. We must work hard to make sure it does that, by taking care of it. Making it stronger everyday.
Friendships
I haven't always been a super good friend to everyone. It's not because I'm rude, or because I don't want to be a good friend, I'm just content with my few close friends and the enormous amount of family that I have. According to The Color Code/The People Code, I am a White personality. We're pretty content, and tend to be lazy, and potentiallly not very fun. My second color is Blue, and that's where my need for closeness to people comes from. So it makes sense that I'm really close to my bubble filled with wonderful people, but I'm not real great at branching out.
I'm learning, that there are amazing people out there who I enjoy becoming friends with. Now that I don't work at the theater I don't get as much social interaction outside of my family and the church. But honestly, my testimony of the visiting teaching program has increased 10-fold. It has helped me be a better friend. I love seeing my sisters, and I love all the things I learn from them. Slowly, but surely I'm learning how to be a good friend to everyone.
I'm super thankful to my buddy Charlee Ann, for being a superstar friend since 5th grade. She is that person who seems like she should be one of my sisters. She's always been an example to me of how to be a great friend. Neither one of us has been perfect, but over the years we've taught each other a lot. We will still be calling/texting each other when we're in our 90's. Kids will be like, "what's texting?" And we will be like, "don't worry about it" and we'll push through the arthritis to tell each other something hilarious. And then we'll have to tell the nurses that we need a diaper change.
Hardships
Well all I've learned in this chapter is that hardships come. No matter who ya are or where yer from. They come and they come fast and hard and it sucks. But there's only one way to get through em'... With the help of our Savior Jesus Christ. Simple and sweet. Short but true.
Motherhood and Being Myself
Motherhood is hard. It it's too often that people make us feel like motherhood is not enough. The world teaches that you are not smart enough, you are not bold enough, you are not beautiful enough, and you are certainly not accomplished enough, if you are just a mother.
I beg to differ.
I've recently got caught up in this idea myself, but I was reminded by my mother that motherhood is of ultimate importance. Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough in my life, along with all that I do at home. But my life is at home. And that's the best place for it to be. My mom reminded me that when we get to heaven Heavenly Father isn't going to care as much about our list of accomplishments. He is going to care how we took care of His children. Whether they were the ones at home, or the children He needs us to serve in our wards and neighborhoods. But, if ALL you do is your very best for each one of your kids, you're doing pretty awesome. And that's the message I forgot.
And I don't think it's so much what we "do" as mothers. It's hard to explain, but it's what we become because of motherhood. When we are constantly serving, teaching, and loving, our kids we are doing what Christ did when he was here. And that makes us understand Him. I've had to stop at least 25 times while writing this. That's life with a toddler. If that doesn't teach patience I don't know what does.
The purpose in this life is to become. Become a loving person. Become a spiritual person. Become like our Savior. Become more Godly. Become more humble. Become more patient, teachable, more clean, more true, etc. Motherhood is a catalyst for becoming Godly.
Sadly, Satan has a hold on too many mothers, and just like everything even motherhood, one of the most sacred callings in this life, can become tainted.
So I put this section last on purpose. As a reminder to myself and to all mothers that what you do matters, but more importantly it's enough because of who motherhood is helping you to become. It's special, it's sacred, it's crazy hard, and it's worth it.
Never forget that.
And when it comes to being myself, being a mom is who I am. I am a thinker, a writer, a singer, and I might be a little socially awkward sometimes. But that's who I am and that's Okay. First and foremost I am a mom, to the most beautiful little girl in the whole world. She makes me smile every day. She also makes me scream a little. But then I just have to love her even more for it. I love my job.
Those are my life lessons. Always more to come.
I must go now, to clean the house that has been destroyed during this writing process.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Why does the Father forgive so much?
In my Sunday School class, my amazing kids are constantly testing me. But only because I ask em' to. Every week we give them slips of paper, and tell them to write questions they have about the month's topic, or about anything in the gospel. February's subject is "The Plan of Salvation" and January's topic has been "The Godhead." Every question I get is wonderful. They make me study harder, and the practice of asking questions and finding answers is hopefully being instilled in their hearts. As it is in mine.
But this question, it hit me like a spiritual arrow soft, but nonetheless intense and straight into my chest. It was one of those moments where the tears began to well up whether I wanted them to or not.
The question that was given to me, is the title of this post. "Why does the Father forgive so much?"
I know without a shadow of a doubt that when we are called in positions in the church our Heavenly Father helps us feel the love He has for the individuals in our classes, quorums, groups, etc. And when I read this question it was like an immediate rush of love came in to my soul. I know that Heavenly Father is aware of every individual in my class---and my senses were heightened all of a sudden to make me see that.
I don't know who wrote the question. I have no idea what struggles many of my students face. I know they struggle with similar things that I struggled with in high school...but, I don't know enough about the rest of their lives to understand what they're going through. So I don't know if this question came from a need of understanding that the Father will forgive this individual, or if it was because they wondered why people who do horrible things can still be forgiven.
Here's my answer to the question:
I don't know why our Father in Heaven forgives so much. It boggles my mind, while at the same time warming my heart. I don't know that there's a limit to how much he will forgive---I really don't think there is one. I know that our understanding of love and forgiveness IS limited. We are still learning how to love, and how to forgive. I know that some of our brothers and sisters do some pretty terrible things in this life and I don't understand why. I am thankful that I don't have to understand how to judge them on Judgement Day. I'm thankful that that job is up to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I know that our Father in Heaven knows us in and out, past, present, and future. He knows our spirits because he created us. We are His children.
Sometimes I think I know Camry so well because she began life inside of me, and the first 9 months we were inseparable :)haha. And then she came to this earth and it was a feeling of-- "I know you. I've known you for a while now, and yet we're just meeting each other, but I'm here to take care of you, I promise." But when I ponder being a partner with Heavenly Father in bringing His children to the earth I realize that He knew her those 9 months too, He knew her long before I did. He will continue to know her better than I ever can. That knowledge is strange, but so fulfilling and safe. I trust His arms more than I trust my own. I know He is a better parent than me, and although I'm here to love and guide her--part of my purpose is to teach her how to build a relationship with her Father in Heaven.
Because He knows each of us soooo well, I know he has the ability to forgive and know when our hearts are pure. He knows when we truly repent. He knows when we seek His forgiveness with all the sincerity of our souls. He knows when we need Him. And I KNOW that he will never leave us empty. He may not send down a choir of angels, but I guarantee He will send peace. That's one of the jobs of the Holy Ghost, to comfort us and give us peace when we think we are not worth it. And Christ is the mediator in and through it all. We are to gain a relationship with Him just as we do the Father.
Why does the Father forgive so much? I don't know, but I know He sure loves us and wants us to have all that He has. Why did the Savior hang on the cross? Why did he rise again triumphant from the tomb? Why do we seek forgiveness? Because we are not perfect. But there was a Plan set forth long before we came here that made it so that imperfect people can become perfect. Part of the plan was to come to earth, receive bodies, be imperfect, and require the Savior's Atonement to make it back to be with the Father who loved us enough to make a straight path for us. Another part, the Savior's Atonement, made it possible for us to become at one with our Father, clean and whole.
Alls I knows is....I'm thankful He forgives so much. I need it. I need His love and forgiveness probably more than I need air to breathe. It's that important. The beyond shocking part is that I don't always seek it out. I ought to be slapped in the face for that. But that's part of my journey. Learning to seek out what truly nourishes my soul. And I know that our Father's love, and His endless forgiveness, is more nourishing and more filling than any food or water. I know the Savior's love is perfect. He is "the way, the truth, and the life" (John 14:6). I would be lost without all three members of the Godhead. I would not know the purpose of my life if not for the Plan of Salvation. I would be forever scarred and lonely if it were not for the Savior's Atonement to strengthen, lift, and heal me. I would be hopeless, if I did not know, that my Father in Heaven can, and will, forgive so much.
But this question, it hit me like a spiritual arrow soft, but nonetheless intense and straight into my chest. It was one of those moments where the tears began to well up whether I wanted them to or not.
The question that was given to me, is the title of this post. "Why does the Father forgive so much?"
I know without a shadow of a doubt that when we are called in positions in the church our Heavenly Father helps us feel the love He has for the individuals in our classes, quorums, groups, etc. And when I read this question it was like an immediate rush of love came in to my soul. I know that Heavenly Father is aware of every individual in my class---and my senses were heightened all of a sudden to make me see that.
I don't know who wrote the question. I have no idea what struggles many of my students face. I know they struggle with similar things that I struggled with in high school...but, I don't know enough about the rest of their lives to understand what they're going through. So I don't know if this question came from a need of understanding that the Father will forgive this individual, or if it was because they wondered why people who do horrible things can still be forgiven.
Here's my answer to the question:
I don't know why our Father in Heaven forgives so much. It boggles my mind, while at the same time warming my heart. I don't know that there's a limit to how much he will forgive---I really don't think there is one. I know that our understanding of love and forgiveness IS limited. We are still learning how to love, and how to forgive. I know that some of our brothers and sisters do some pretty terrible things in this life and I don't understand why. I am thankful that I don't have to understand how to judge them on Judgement Day. I'm thankful that that job is up to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I know that our Father in Heaven knows us in and out, past, present, and future. He knows our spirits because he created us. We are His children.
Sometimes I think I know Camry so well because she began life inside of me, and the first 9 months we were inseparable :)haha. And then she came to this earth and it was a feeling of-- "I know you. I've known you for a while now, and yet we're just meeting each other, but I'm here to take care of you, I promise." But when I ponder being a partner with Heavenly Father in bringing His children to the earth I realize that He knew her those 9 months too, He knew her long before I did. He will continue to know her better than I ever can. That knowledge is strange, but so fulfilling and safe. I trust His arms more than I trust my own. I know He is a better parent than me, and although I'm here to love and guide her--part of my purpose is to teach her how to build a relationship with her Father in Heaven.
Because He knows each of us soooo well, I know he has the ability to forgive and know when our hearts are pure. He knows when we truly repent. He knows when we seek His forgiveness with all the sincerity of our souls. He knows when we need Him. And I KNOW that he will never leave us empty. He may not send down a choir of angels, but I guarantee He will send peace. That's one of the jobs of the Holy Ghost, to comfort us and give us peace when we think we are not worth it. And Christ is the mediator in and through it all. We are to gain a relationship with Him just as we do the Father.
Why does the Father forgive so much? I don't know, but I know He sure loves us and wants us to have all that He has. Why did the Savior hang on the cross? Why did he rise again triumphant from the tomb? Why do we seek forgiveness? Because we are not perfect. But there was a Plan set forth long before we came here that made it so that imperfect people can become perfect. Part of the plan was to come to earth, receive bodies, be imperfect, and require the Savior's Atonement to make it back to be with the Father who loved us enough to make a straight path for us. Another part, the Savior's Atonement, made it possible for us to become at one with our Father, clean and whole.
Alls I knows is....I'm thankful He forgives so much. I need it. I need His love and forgiveness probably more than I need air to breathe. It's that important. The beyond shocking part is that I don't always seek it out. I ought to be slapped in the face for that. But that's part of my journey. Learning to seek out what truly nourishes my soul. And I know that our Father's love, and His endless forgiveness, is more nourishing and more filling than any food or water. I know the Savior's love is perfect. He is "the way, the truth, and the life" (John 14:6). I would be lost without all three members of the Godhead. I would not know the purpose of my life if not for the Plan of Salvation. I would be forever scarred and lonely if it were not for the Savior's Atonement to strengthen, lift, and heal me. I would be hopeless, if I did not know, that my Father in Heaven can, and will, forgive so much.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Family Storage
While preparing a lesson on the Second Coming, my mind has been drawn to this phrase, "Family Storage." And as I was studying Mark 13, I came across a scripture that finally put my hands to this keyboard. It talks about one of the signs before the Second Coming.
Mark 13:12, "Now the brother shall betray the brother to death, and the father the son; and children shall rise up against their parents, and shall cause them to be put to death."
Can we relate this scripture to our own lives? I hope you don't want to betray family members and/or kill them...OBVIOUSLY. But, is Satan still working on us to destroy relationships? What if this scripture is meant for more than just the literal meaning of killing each other?
I like to forgive. But I find myself, just as we all do, holding grudges. Part of life is learning to not sweat the small stuff right? Right.
But sometimes there's big stuff. Hard stuff to deal with in life. Especially in familial circumstances.
That's when Satan tries real hard to kill relationships. He wants us to turn against our siblings, our parents, our loved ones.
We can't let that happen! The Second Coming will come, sooner or later it will come. And food storage is gonna be important, water storage is gonna be real important, but what about family storage?
The Prophets have urged us to prepare ourselves, and prepare we must! Part of being prepared is being spiritually prepared. If we don't remember the people who Heavenly Father has blessed us to know as our families here on earth and throughout eternity, than what have we remembered? Now is the time to forgive each other, put differences behind, and love as the Savior loves us. In times of need, we will not only need physical nourishment from food and water- we will require love, support, and help from each other.
My life is a constant struggle of trying to love and forgive. Sometimes I'm great at it. Sometimes I really suck. But it hit me today stronger than ever before, that the people in my life I absolutely need the most--are the members of my family. Because they are God's gift to me when life gets the toughest. We cannot expect perfection from each other, but we can love, teach, and try to be examples of the Savior who loved perfectly. I've written it before, and I'll write it again. We were never asked to be perfect on our own, we've always required the Savior's Atonement. If we could see each other through the Savior's eyes, I'm sure we could never hold a grudge, feel hatred, or seek to hurt others. We would only see---probably people just like ourselves, scarred but seeking. Hoping to do the right thing.
I loved how President Uchtdorf said in the last General Conference, "If you define hypocrite as someone who fails to live up perfectly to what he or she believes, then we are all hypocrites. None of us is quite as Christlike as we know we should be. But we earnestly desire to overcome our faults and the tendency to sin. With our heart and soul we yearn to become better with the help of the Atonement of Jesus Christ." I sure know a lot of the right things, but I'm always struggling to do them. But I'm trying, just like we all are. And if we are yoked with Christ, then we are just where we need to be--moving forward.
So, I guess all I'm saying is, there is no better time than now to love, forgive, and put in the past the mistakes of others. Now is the best time to seek for confidence in Christ so that we don't worry about the problems of others as much. When we know Him, it becomes much easier to see people as He sees them. And suddenly forgiveness is easy. Or at least, easier.
I write this because I need it the most. I share it because I figure there's someone out there like me who struggles with their "family storage" too. Remember how important our loved ones are. Keep loving them, even when they may not love back. Christ experiences the latter every moment of every day. He understands. He can teach us how to build our "family storage" so that we become stronger as family units. So strong that Satan cannot enter in to tempt us.
Thank goodness for the scriptures-they can always put things into perspective.
Mark 13:12, "Now the brother shall betray the brother to death, and the father the son; and children shall rise up against their parents, and shall cause them to be put to death."
Can we relate this scripture to our own lives? I hope you don't want to betray family members and/or kill them...OBVIOUSLY. But, is Satan still working on us to destroy relationships? What if this scripture is meant for more than just the literal meaning of killing each other?
I like to forgive. But I find myself, just as we all do, holding grudges. Part of life is learning to not sweat the small stuff right? Right.
But sometimes there's big stuff. Hard stuff to deal with in life. Especially in familial circumstances.
That's when Satan tries real hard to kill relationships. He wants us to turn against our siblings, our parents, our loved ones.
We can't let that happen! The Second Coming will come, sooner or later it will come. And food storage is gonna be important, water storage is gonna be real important, but what about family storage?
The Prophets have urged us to prepare ourselves, and prepare we must! Part of being prepared is being spiritually prepared. If we don't remember the people who Heavenly Father has blessed us to know as our families here on earth and throughout eternity, than what have we remembered? Now is the time to forgive each other, put differences behind, and love as the Savior loves us. In times of need, we will not only need physical nourishment from food and water- we will require love, support, and help from each other.
My life is a constant struggle of trying to love and forgive. Sometimes I'm great at it. Sometimes I really suck. But it hit me today stronger than ever before, that the people in my life I absolutely need the most--are the members of my family. Because they are God's gift to me when life gets the toughest. We cannot expect perfection from each other, but we can love, teach, and try to be examples of the Savior who loved perfectly. I've written it before, and I'll write it again. We were never asked to be perfect on our own, we've always required the Savior's Atonement. If we could see each other through the Savior's eyes, I'm sure we could never hold a grudge, feel hatred, or seek to hurt others. We would only see---probably people just like ourselves, scarred but seeking. Hoping to do the right thing.
I loved how President Uchtdorf said in the last General Conference, "If you define hypocrite as someone who fails to live up perfectly to what he or she believes, then we are all hypocrites. None of us is quite as Christlike as we know we should be. But we earnestly desire to overcome our faults and the tendency to sin. With our heart and soul we yearn to become better with the help of the Atonement of Jesus Christ." I sure know a lot of the right things, but I'm always struggling to do them. But I'm trying, just like we all are. And if we are yoked with Christ, then we are just where we need to be--moving forward.
So, I guess all I'm saying is, there is no better time than now to love, forgive, and put in the past the mistakes of others. Now is the best time to seek for confidence in Christ so that we don't worry about the problems of others as much. When we know Him, it becomes much easier to see people as He sees them. And suddenly forgiveness is easy. Or at least, easier.
I write this because I need it the most. I share it because I figure there's someone out there like me who struggles with their "family storage" too. Remember how important our loved ones are. Keep loving them, even when they may not love back. Christ experiences the latter every moment of every day. He understands. He can teach us how to build our "family storage" so that we become stronger as family units. So strong that Satan cannot enter in to tempt us.
Thank goodness for the scriptures-they can always put things into perspective.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Trust.
Life has confirmed with me that I live better when I am treated as though I am trustworthy, good, and essentially---important. I'm not trying to explain that everyone should treat me as though I am all that in a bag-a-chips. I am explaining what it feels like to be around people who treat you with Christlike love, the kind that makes you feel special, the purest, sweetest trust and respect that exists in this world. It can be shown in small and simple ways--but it's effects last forever.
A while back now, I had a dear friend a few years younger than me---okay a LOT younger (still in high school)...confide in me. She shared with me her confusion about her situation with her parents. She was 18, not graduated yet, and she was ready to move out. And her parents were ready for her to be gone too. (Or so she claimed). I asked her outright, "Have you done anything that would cause them to stop trusting you?" I wasn't looking for stories that were none of my business, and thankfully she didn't tell any. She understood my question and in a round about way she explained that yes, she had done some things that had frustrated her parents. And they only knew a fraction of what was really going on in her life.
Knowing that I could not rely on one side of the story, I tried to stay neutral, and understanding. She also told me about how she was truly trying to be a good person, but she felt like that part of her life wasn't seen by her parents, or anyone. She felt comfortable with her friends even though they enjoyed participating in activities she knew were inappropriate. She was sitting on the fence. She felt better on the outside with her friends. But inside, she yearned for closeness with her family, and mutual understanding with her parents. Sound familiar? I think we all feel this way at one time or another. I know her parents are wonderful people, and they were trying desperately to get through to their daughter. But they were trying to get her obedience by treating her like she was a bad child through and through. She had lost sight of the good in herself, but she knew deep in her heart what was right and she was trying to find a reason to get back on that path. The world was telling her to follow her friends, move out, give up, do what you want, and let go.
So there we were. I didn't know what to say, or how to help her see the path she needed to take. I asked Heavenly Father's help so many times. And I believe he told me to tell her what I've learned in my life.
* My parents trusted me. This phrase can mean so many things. To me, it meant they loved me, they respected my decisions, and they believed I was good.
So I told her, what I believe in my heart of hearts, that she is a wonderful girl. She has a strong testimony. Sure it was being tested, but she held on to what was true and good. I tried to remind her that she is important. She has a Heavenly Father who sees her as a choice daughter of His.
This was when she started to cry.
Satan wants us to believe that we are useless. We have done too many bad things to ever be good again. He wants us to give in to the world's philosophies. And at the bottom of the worst of the worst is that belief that we cannot be trusted, loved, or important.
He is a liar.
I bring up this story because in a different way I've re-experienced this life lesson. Sometimes it can be our parents, (even parents with the best of intentions) sometimes it's our dearest friends, and sometimes it's just someone we have to see everyday at work. But sometimes there's a person who makes you feel like you are scum. Worse than scum. Like you are just a bad person with bad intentions who wishes bad on all around you. Sometimes we believe them. Unfortunately. Recently, I started to do that. Someone expected the worst out of me and in trying to constantly defend myself I found myself questioning my intentions and the intentions of others. So I caught on today. And that's just not a game I want to play.
I am good. I am NOT perfect. But my intentions are good, just like pretty much everyone else. The people bad-to-the-core are really not as common as we sometimes think. Often we go about trying to get along in life and somehow we communicate but quite often it's awkward. And in our efforts to understand others we often misconstrue their intentions. But we must remember and believe that people are good. Even the people who are manipulative or negative nelly's or whatever, they are still on the same path we are of trying to do their best.
The people I love and respect and look up to, are the people who make me feel worth it. I feel comfortable around them with my imperfections because they make me feel like I am still good, important, trustworthy, and lovable.
I think it starts inside ourselves, understanding that we are children of Heavenly Father and we are inherently good. If we hold on to that belief it becomes a knowledge and then we start to see it in other people. It's so hard to constantly reassure someone who does not trust themselves. But we have to. Because if they can see they are important then they can become closer to our Savior and that's when changes happen.
I know that the Savior Jesus Christ knew that each one of us is worth it. Clearly he proved that by suffering for our sins, and being resurrected so that we might live again. Life experience and the choices we make leave us scarred and battered. But the Savior sees the good in each of us and He makes it possible for us to be whole again.
-Myra Brooks Welch, quoted in General Conference by President Boyd K. Packer, found on lds.org.
The good news is, my sweet dear friend chose to change her life for the better. And I know, I know without a doubt that it started with a tiny seed of belief inside that she was worth more than the life she was living. Sin did not have to burden her forever, she could turn to the Savior and give Him her burdens in exchange for a pure heart and clean hands--hands that are now doing His work and living righteously. She is an amazing example to me. She showed tremendous courage and strength---she is one of those inspiring people who makes me feel worth it.
A while back now, I had a dear friend a few years younger than me---okay a LOT younger (still in high school)...confide in me. She shared with me her confusion about her situation with her parents. She was 18, not graduated yet, and she was ready to move out. And her parents were ready for her to be gone too. (Or so she claimed). I asked her outright, "Have you done anything that would cause them to stop trusting you?" I wasn't looking for stories that were none of my business, and thankfully she didn't tell any. She understood my question and in a round about way she explained that yes, she had done some things that had frustrated her parents. And they only knew a fraction of what was really going on in her life.
Knowing that I could not rely on one side of the story, I tried to stay neutral, and understanding. She also told me about how she was truly trying to be a good person, but she felt like that part of her life wasn't seen by her parents, or anyone. She felt comfortable with her friends even though they enjoyed participating in activities she knew were inappropriate. She was sitting on the fence. She felt better on the outside with her friends. But inside, she yearned for closeness with her family, and mutual understanding with her parents. Sound familiar? I think we all feel this way at one time or another. I know her parents are wonderful people, and they were trying desperately to get through to their daughter. But they were trying to get her obedience by treating her like she was a bad child through and through. She had lost sight of the good in herself, but she knew deep in her heart what was right and she was trying to find a reason to get back on that path. The world was telling her to follow her friends, move out, give up, do what you want, and let go.
So there we were. I didn't know what to say, or how to help her see the path she needed to take. I asked Heavenly Father's help so many times. And I believe he told me to tell her what I've learned in my life.
* My parents trusted me. This phrase can mean so many things. To me, it meant they loved me, they respected my decisions, and they believed I was good.
So I told her, what I believe in my heart of hearts, that she is a wonderful girl. She has a strong testimony. Sure it was being tested, but she held on to what was true and good. I tried to remind her that she is important. She has a Heavenly Father who sees her as a choice daughter of His.
This was when she started to cry.
Satan wants us to believe that we are useless. We have done too many bad things to ever be good again. He wants us to give in to the world's philosophies. And at the bottom of the worst of the worst is that belief that we cannot be trusted, loved, or important.
He is a liar.
I bring up this story because in a different way I've re-experienced this life lesson. Sometimes it can be our parents, (even parents with the best of intentions) sometimes it's our dearest friends, and sometimes it's just someone we have to see everyday at work. But sometimes there's a person who makes you feel like you are scum. Worse than scum. Like you are just a bad person with bad intentions who wishes bad on all around you. Sometimes we believe them. Unfortunately. Recently, I started to do that. Someone expected the worst out of me and in trying to constantly defend myself I found myself questioning my intentions and the intentions of others. So I caught on today. And that's just not a game I want to play.
I am good. I am NOT perfect. But my intentions are good, just like pretty much everyone else. The people bad-to-the-core are really not as common as we sometimes think. Often we go about trying to get along in life and somehow we communicate but quite often it's awkward. And in our efforts to understand others we often misconstrue their intentions. But we must remember and believe that people are good. Even the people who are manipulative or negative nelly's or whatever, they are still on the same path we are of trying to do their best.
The people I love and respect and look up to, are the people who make me feel worth it. I feel comfortable around them with my imperfections because they make me feel like I am still good, important, trustworthy, and lovable.
I think it starts inside ourselves, understanding that we are children of Heavenly Father and we are inherently good. If we hold on to that belief it becomes a knowledge and then we start to see it in other people. It's so hard to constantly reassure someone who does not trust themselves. But we have to. Because if they can see they are important then they can become closer to our Savior and that's when changes happen.
I know that the Savior Jesus Christ knew that each one of us is worth it. Clearly he proved that by suffering for our sins, and being resurrected so that we might live again. Life experience and the choices we make leave us scarred and battered. But the Savior sees the good in each of us and He makes it possible for us to be whole again.
’Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer
Thought it scarcely worth his while
To waste much time on the old violin,
But held it up with a smile:
“What am I bidden, good folks,” he cried,
“Who’ll start the bidding for me?”
“A dollar, a dollar”; then, “Two!” “Only two?
Two dollars, and who’ll make it three?
Three dollars, once; three dollars, twice;
Going for three—” But no,
From the room, far back, a gray-haired man
Came forward and picked up the bow;
Then, wiping the dust from the old violin,
And tightening the loose strings,
He played a melody pure and sweet
As a caroling angel sings.
The music ceased, and the auctioneer,
With a voice that was quiet and low,
Said, “What am I bid for the old violin?”
And he held it up with the bow.
“A thousand dollars, and who’ll make it two?
Two thousand! And who’ll make it three?
Three thousand, once, three thousand, twice,
And going, and gone!” said he.
The people cheered, but some of them cried,
“We do not quite understand
What changed its worth.” Swift came the reply:
“The touch of a master’s hand.”
And many a man with life out of tune,
And battered and scarred with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd,
Much like the old violin.
A “mess of pottage,” a glass of wine,
A game—and he travels on.
He’s “going” once, and “going” twice,
He’s “going” and almost “gone.”
But the Master comes, and the foolish crowd
Never can quite understand
The worth of a soul and the change that’s wrought
By the touch of the Master’s hand. 29
The good news is, my sweet dear friend chose to change her life for the better. And I know, I know without a doubt that it started with a tiny seed of belief inside that she was worth more than the life she was living. Sin did not have to burden her forever, she could turn to the Savior and give Him her burdens in exchange for a pure heart and clean hands--hands that are now doing His work and living righteously. She is an amazing example to me. She showed tremendous courage and strength---she is one of those inspiring people who makes me feel worth it.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Real conversation
Acquaintance: "sorry if you can hear me chewing really loud" she says as she awkwardly chews slowly and covers her mouth.
Me: "oh your fine I can't even hear it."
Acquaintance: "REALLY!? Cuz in my head its really loud!"
Me: .... Shes for real..."Yep that's because your mouth is right next to your ears"
Acquaintance: "I guess that's true"
Yep. It's true.
Me: "oh your fine I can't even hear it."
Acquaintance: "REALLY!? Cuz in my head its really loud!"
Me: .... Shes for real..."Yep that's because your mouth is right next to your ears"
Acquaintance: "I guess that's true"
Yep. It's true.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Self Confidence
This is a very broad subject. There are thousands of psychologists studying this, millions of books and articles written, and it's because there are people struggling with it everywhere.
How do we get self confidence? How do we keep it? Do you struggle with it? Why do so many women struggle with it? Why is it so fragile?
I don't know how to answer all those questions. I'm just a wife and a mother who ponders everything.
I do have some leads though. Or some ideas.
I'm just gonna jump right in.
Life experience. So much can happen inside those two words. So much good and so much bad.
Sometimes I hear of experiences and I think why was he or she allowed to do that to someone? Why does there have to be victims in life? Why do children have to endure things that shred any last bit of self confidence that one could have had? There are so many questions to ask.
I don't want to delve deeply into life experience I just want to lead your mind where mine went. Not to terrible, horrible, mind/heart scarring ventures, but to things that still shouldn't have happened.
I look at some people and I think, had they not endured that trial they could be more confident maybe. I never think it in those exact words, but that's pretty much what it sums up to. I think, maybe he/she would understand this or that aspect of life better, had they not experienced that.
And often as humans, we look at the bad stuff that happens to us as just that---bad stuff. My own mother is very much a worry wart and she is constantly (and I mean constantly) bringing up the worst-case-scenarios in any situation. I told her I had a nightmare last week and she suggested I get a supplement for anxiety. One nightmare. I love you mother, forever and for always, but I not takin dem pills!
I don't say this to bad mouth her. In fact, her worst-case-scenario thinking has made her prepared for literally every worst case scenario ever, and it has prevented many bad scenarios from unfolding. I'm just trying to illustrate a point---we always think of the trials in life as trials! Horrible happenings that just happen and we cannot prevent even though we continuously try to!
And lately I've been thinking about changing people's thinking. Why does Heavenly Father put people through unimaginable trials? Because of who he wants us to become. Now I know you've heard of this before, but really ponder this with me.
If I had grown up in any sort of a different family situation, sure, it may have seemed better to some. I've even thought maybe it would have been easier. Not having the "big kids" with us for a whole Christmas Day was pretty bad, I won't lie. But it did something to me, somewhere inside, to make me stronger. It made me appreciate my siblings, and it made me yearn for closeness with them. Had they always been there, maybe we would have fought more. Maybe I wouldn't have looked to them as examples. Maybe I would just be a little different. But Heavenly Father needs me to be who I am. And so he put me in a beautifully imperfect family in which I've never regretted belonging.
Think if we had the ability to see every "trial" for what it truly is. A current of water smoothing our rough patches slowly day by day. Or maybe some trials are sticks of dynamite blasting us onto the path of humility. Couldn't this ability to see trials differently change us clear down deep inside? Could it give us truckloads more of self confidence because we see how important we are to our Heavenly Father because he has given us more responsibility to become? I think it can!
There are some people who I wish I could sit them down, look them in the eye, and say, "You ARE worth it." Correction= I wish I could do that to all people. That's why I have a blog I guess. But really if you are reading this, do you believe that? Because I believe it. Heavenly Father wants YOU to understand something important so He gave you burdens. The "natural man" sees those burdens as hard, but again can we change the definition of burdens and trials and tribulations? In order to survive---we have to. Alllllll the hard "stuff" has to get their names changed. They should be called things like, strength-builders, family uniters, path re-directors, rough edge smoothers, and helped-me-to-become-like-God-ers.
Heavenly Father does want us to understand a lot of things---to become like Him we have to become All-knowing. (that will take much longer than this lifetime I believe). But most importantly---He wants us to understand we are not asked to endure life experience alone. He would have never sent us here alone. He sent us here, and then sent His Son to make all of the necessary connections. His Son built a bridge back home so-to-speak. His Son also offers strength, and the know-how for re-building hearts and homes. His Son offers to walk alongside us to help carry every "helped-me-to-become-like-God-er", or what is more commonly known as every, "trial."
And knowing what I know about the Savior Jesus Christ, I feel much more confident that He can be on my side. My search for self-confidence has also been a search to know my Savior better. And I don't know a lot, but I know that when I try to live as He would, I see trials for how they really are just a bit better, and I believe in myself a lot better. I find peace and happiness in just being good ole Sammy Grace! And I don't seek for the world's approval, I just try to enjoy being me and everyone that comes along with that.
So here's my hope. Please know, You Are Worth It. Whoever you are. Life experience is meant to make you even greater. We are sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father who has created worlds without number. We are part of an ever growing family of love that just keeps multiplying--never dividing. So believe in yourself. Make decisions, Make amazing things happen, and Make your little corner of the world better because you're happy being you! Find your Confidence in Christ.
*thanks for reading. my husband has a rough time even listening to my long blog posts. ;) gotta love it. gotta write it down somewhere.
How do we get self confidence? How do we keep it? Do you struggle with it? Why do so many women struggle with it? Why is it so fragile?
I don't know how to answer all those questions. I'm just a wife and a mother who ponders everything.
I do have some leads though. Or some ideas.
I'm just gonna jump right in.
Life experience. So much can happen inside those two words. So much good and so much bad.
Sometimes I hear of experiences and I think why was he or she allowed to do that to someone? Why does there have to be victims in life? Why do children have to endure things that shred any last bit of self confidence that one could have had? There are so many questions to ask.
I don't want to delve deeply into life experience I just want to lead your mind where mine went. Not to terrible, horrible, mind/heart scarring ventures, but to things that still shouldn't have happened.
I look at some people and I think, had they not endured that trial they could be more confident maybe. I never think it in those exact words, but that's pretty much what it sums up to. I think, maybe he/she would understand this or that aspect of life better, had they not experienced that.
And often as humans, we look at the bad stuff that happens to us as just that---bad stuff. My own mother is very much a worry wart and she is constantly (and I mean constantly) bringing up the worst-case-scenarios in any situation. I told her I had a nightmare last week and she suggested I get a supplement for anxiety. One nightmare. I love you mother, forever and for always, but I not takin dem pills!
I don't say this to bad mouth her. In fact, her worst-case-scenario thinking has made her prepared for literally every worst case scenario ever, and it has prevented many bad scenarios from unfolding. I'm just trying to illustrate a point---we always think of the trials in life as trials! Horrible happenings that just happen and we cannot prevent even though we continuously try to!
And lately I've been thinking about changing people's thinking. Why does Heavenly Father put people through unimaginable trials? Because of who he wants us to become. Now I know you've heard of this before, but really ponder this with me.
If I had grown up in any sort of a different family situation, sure, it may have seemed better to some. I've even thought maybe it would have been easier. Not having the "big kids" with us for a whole Christmas Day was pretty bad, I won't lie. But it did something to me, somewhere inside, to make me stronger. It made me appreciate my siblings, and it made me yearn for closeness with them. Had they always been there, maybe we would have fought more. Maybe I wouldn't have looked to them as examples. Maybe I would just be a little different. But Heavenly Father needs me to be who I am. And so he put me in a beautifully imperfect family in which I've never regretted belonging.
Think if we had the ability to see every "trial" for what it truly is. A current of water smoothing our rough patches slowly day by day. Or maybe some trials are sticks of dynamite blasting us onto the path of humility. Couldn't this ability to see trials differently change us clear down deep inside? Could it give us truckloads more of self confidence because we see how important we are to our Heavenly Father because he has given us more responsibility to become? I think it can!
There are some people who I wish I could sit them down, look them in the eye, and say, "You ARE worth it." Correction= I wish I could do that to all people. That's why I have a blog I guess. But really if you are reading this, do you believe that? Because I believe it. Heavenly Father wants YOU to understand something important so He gave you burdens. The "natural man" sees those burdens as hard, but again can we change the definition of burdens and trials and tribulations? In order to survive---we have to. Alllllll the hard "stuff" has to get their names changed. They should be called things like, strength-builders, family uniters, path re-directors, rough edge smoothers, and helped-me-to-become-like-God-ers.
Heavenly Father does want us to understand a lot of things---to become like Him we have to become All-knowing. (that will take much longer than this lifetime I believe). But most importantly---He wants us to understand we are not asked to endure life experience alone. He would have never sent us here alone. He sent us here, and then sent His Son to make all of the necessary connections. His Son built a bridge back home so-to-speak. His Son also offers strength, and the know-how for re-building hearts and homes. His Son offers to walk alongside us to help carry every "helped-me-to-become-like-God-er", or what is more commonly known as every, "trial."
And knowing what I know about the Savior Jesus Christ, I feel much more confident that He can be on my side. My search for self-confidence has also been a search to know my Savior better. And I don't know a lot, but I know that when I try to live as He would, I see trials for how they really are just a bit better, and I believe in myself a lot better. I find peace and happiness in just being good ole Sammy Grace! And I don't seek for the world's approval, I just try to enjoy being me and everyone that comes along with that.
So here's my hope. Please know, You Are Worth It. Whoever you are. Life experience is meant to make you even greater. We are sons and daughters of a Heavenly Father who has created worlds without number. We are part of an ever growing family of love that just keeps multiplying--never dividing. So believe in yourself. Make decisions, Make amazing things happen, and Make your little corner of the world better because you're happy being you! Find your Confidence in Christ.
*thanks for reading. my husband has a rough time even listening to my long blog posts. ;) gotta love it. gotta write it down somewhere.
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