Enjoy.

Enjoy is a verb.

For some people, this verb comes naturally. They wake up, and they enjoy life. For some people, this verb is a choice. A lot of people experience both of these paths of "enjoying."

But doesn't it feel good? Once ya choose it of course... To just---ENJOY. 

To wake up laughing at your two year old screaming for chocolate milk first thing in the morning. (Instead of groaning...which is what I tend to do)...

To taste food. The way it's meant to be tasted. Like you haven't eaten in 3 weeks, or if all you've been eating is potatoes. I once heard of a diet in which you pick one food and you ONLY eat that food for a week. When the week is over you start to eat healthier foods and you can taste them differently because you "reset" your taste buds. Do we need to really be resetting our taste buds? Because we have so many food options that we forgot to just taste or enjoy our food?

To stare at our children. Remembering them just as they are now, with our own eyes. Not with a camera lens. Enjoying the ability to have them, and see them grow, and be in their presence. It's one thing to feel gratitude...but is there something requiring more of us---to not just be grateful, but to enjoy?

We move around in our busy lives so quickly. And every spare second we get we are looking at our phones. Believe me this is not a chastisement for anyone more than it is for myself. But I know I am not alone in this. I often think of the way people lived hundreds of years ago, and I wonder if they enjoyed life more than we do today. Food required a lot more work. Having babies was WAY more risky and often resulted in death for either the mother or the child. Time was spent completely differently---as was money. Treasures were often small and simple.

So, whether your life is spent working to travel, or traveling to work, enjoy it. Whether you have a family you're raising, or still being raised, enjoy it. If you are living to work, or working to live, enjoy it. If you are living a dream, or wishing you could dream more, enjoy it. If you are like me, and folding another load of laundry, cleaning the same rooms over and over, and making more food just so you get to do the dishes...enjoy it. Whether your life will end in triumph or tragedy, enjoy it---because it's yours, no one else's. Each of our lives have blessings and burdens...but just...enjoy em'.

The Great Divide

Another poem by me. I actually wrote this while living in the lovely trailer last summer. I haven't written in a long time, I've been quite busy and "pondering" time doesn't happen as often when you're a mom of 3 kiddos under 4. But I specifically remember sitting in our little trailer, sick as a dog, and finding it impossible to ignore the prompting to sit and write this one down. It, like the others, is quite imperfect.

There is a day coming 

That is what we've heard

No...the day is here now

Where you must heed the words

For this is the day 

Of the Great Divide

{Where some will}

 be afraid and hide:

Unsure and rocky is the trail 

They take with no clear path in view

They search to bring others with them 

Because they're lost, and lonely too.

Happiness and Confidence

is the promise of this side

But because it isn't real, 

it only lasts a little while.

But they still laugh and poke fun

At those holding to the rod

They say, "Look at those silly folks,

Who say that there's a God"

But when they close their eyes at night 

It's fear that's in their souls

And though they say they're fine

They are yearning to be whole

So they seek the things of this world 

Hoping to fill the void

And they scoff at those who know they're loved

And relationships are destroyed

Some walk over to The Fence of Indecision

And they stay there for a time

Not knowing their decision is made

Unless they move fully to the side of Christ

They fear what those wanderers will say 

if they take a leap of faith

That fear is overwhelming--

If only they would pray.

Because little do they know

it is not really a leap at all

If they would choose the Savior 

They would be on a foundation that will never fall.

{Where some will} follow the prophet in stride

They will have watered their seeds of faith and will know of the Tree of Life

They will have their hands tight on the rod-Even whilst they experience trials and strife

They will have left that Fence, a long time ago---That fence called Indecision

With Christ they are yolked forever as they work to conquer the battle within.

They know His side is safest, His foundation is sure

With His help, their hearts and hands will have become clean and pure

Distraction- no, they stay their course as they seek for those in need

they want (because they know), for all to eat the fruit of the tree

For the fruit is God's love and the utmost form of divine

and even when the battle rages---for this fruit they will still climb

For His love for us all is endless, infinite, and true

And the atonement is the reason for doing all that they do

These are they that today choose to not let their minds float away

But instead they focus on the Lord and on His pathway

They worry not what others think and continue to press on

For they know whose side their fighting for and they'll fight 'till the battles won.

Those whose hands are securely locked in place

Following the Savior---they will continue to keep their pace

And they'll call to their friends and loved ones on the Fence or far away

And even if they're laughed at--you will still hear them say,

"Please come, our Savior Jesus Christ loves you so

We want you to be with us, we do not want you to let go,

The power lies within you to choose the path that you will choose

But the truth is truth and if you're not with Christ, then this battle you will lose."

These one's hearts will break, as they watch loved ones walk away

But Jesus Christ will heal them in the most amazing ways.

So with His strength they'll carry on, knowing they're not alone

And knowing, as all children want to know, that they are safely headed home.

"I Got You!"

Today Camry was playing on the couch with her favorite Teddy Bear. As I was walking in and out of the room trying to take care of Hartly and make dinner, I heard her yell to her bear, "I Got You!" And then of course she pulled him to safety from the other side of the couch and repeated the phrase "I Got You," softer and softer, until she held him close.

There's been so many times over the last few years where she's fallen, or gotten hurt, or been scared and I've picked her up and said those words, "I Got You." And some of those times I'm positive I said it without thinking. But some of those times I remember saying them with meaning- you know those times as a parent when you hope your words are reaching somewhere down inside your child...adding to their foundation that's in the building process. So I think when I heard her say those words, in an effort to soothe her fearful teddy bear...I realized that to some degree she knows I Got Her. I've got her back. I'll pick her up when she falls (even if she has to sit and cry for a second to learn a lesson).

If she can understand that I love her no matter what...then she will better be able to understand our Savior's love for each of us. He's Got Us. We fall. We get broken. We repeat mistakes. We don't deserve to be picked back up oftentimes. And I think sometimes Heavenly Father lets us cry on the ground for a minute. But They are always willing to pick us back up.

There's a million other things as a woman, as a human, as an individual that I could be doing/pursuing. Trust me I'm well aware what the world says I could, or should be doing.

But I got a couple girls. I got em. And if I continue to be there to lift them up, encourage, and teach and do all the other motherly things I'm supposed to do---then maybe I can raise a few kids who know how to handle themselves in the crappy crapperson world we live in.

Elder M. Russel Ballard said in conference just barely, "...there was a time when the walls of our homes provided all the defense we needed against outside intrusions and influences. We locked the doors, closed the windows; we shut the gates; and we felt safe, secure and protected in our own little refuge from the outside world. Those days are now gone. The physical walls, doors, fences, and gates of our homes cannot prevent unseen invasion from the Internet, the Wi-Fi, the mobile phones, the networks. They can penetrate our homes with just a few clicks and keystrokes."

If my kids grow up knowing that my husband and I are always there for them, then hopefully they will trust in our protection, our guidance, and see the gospel as a safety net. Maybe they will be able to better understand our loving Savior Jesus Christ. Giving my children a safe place to come home to with my heart is just as important as a physical place to live. Making sure the Spirit is felt in our home is crucial. Teaching them the safety that comes from the guidance of the Holy Ghost is a must.

It's good to be a mom. It's so hard...but it's so good. My heart and prayers to all parents in all your parenting. It's a tough world-but we can do it. We Got This.

Publish Peace

I've written a few times about my personal hiatus from Facebook for a couple years shortly after Colten and I were married. And how I felt somewhat chastised by the Lord when He spoke to me through Elder L. Tom Perry---(read it HERE) who asked us to use social media to spread the gospel. Social media was, and still is to a point, something I despise. Like many things in this world, Satan has put his stamp on it, in it, and all around it. However, the Lord still guides many to use it for appropriate purposes.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is receiving SO much criticism for SO many things right now. But is this really a new thing? NO. But maybe it feels newer because were exposed daily to so much information--constantly through our social media networks we are shown countless articles on both sides of every issue. Black, white, and gray areas of everything you can ever argue about-somebody is sharing their opinion about it.

SO, let's publish peace.

Let us all flood Facebook, Instagram, and whatever outlet you choose, with the good news of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. With the exception of a few silly things my kids have done, and some photos here and there, most of what we share is what I would consider "publishing peace." Anything, positive quotes, memes, scriptures, and most importantly, your testimony. Did you know you can choose who and what you follow? Virtually and in real life you can choose to make it known who you "follow", and what you would like to "share." Many have chosen to avoid social media at all costs, as I did for a long time. I long for a world where we're not all looking down at our phones all the time. I have the addiction as bad as the rest of the world and it is a constant struggle to 'Look Up.' But if we're going to be communicating with friends and loved ones online--lets make it worth it. Let's publish peace. Let people see exactly what you believe. Don't be a fence sitter. Have faith that those whom you fear may be offended by what you believe, will hopefully choose to have respect for your clarity in what you know to be true.

It's scary. I totally get it. Testimonies are sacred, and oftentimes I cry when writing here on "Sammy Grace's Place." I take a little bit of comfort in the fact that hardly anyone reads it! haha! But some of my posts have actually been seen by hundreds! So I know that I'm supposed to publish a little peace here and there. But you, whomever you may be, can take comfort in these words:

1 Nephi 13:37

"37 And blessed are they who shall seek to bring forth my Zion at that day, for they shall have the gift and power of the Holy Ghost; and if they endure unto the end they shall be lifted up at the last day, and shall be saved in the everlasting kingdom of the Lamb; and whoso shall publish peace, yea, tidings of great joy, how beautiful upon the mountains shall they be."

D & C 19:29-30

"29 And thou shalt declare glad tidings, yea, publish it upon the mountains, and upon every high place, and among every people that thou shalt be permitted to see. 30 And thou shalt do it with all humility, trusting in me."

Seek the Lord as your companion in sharing the gospel at every opportunity. So my invitation to all is to publish peace, share all that is good and true. If our focus is truly the "good news," God gives us strength to share it confidently with those we love. You just never know whose heart the Lord needs you to touch, or inspire. We get plenty of bad news everywhere---so let's start, or continue, to publish peace.

My Response.

I have stood at the pulpit in a few different wards, in front of hundreds of people on quite a few different occasions and shared my testimony. Over the last 5 or so years I have written my testimony and published it here in multiple posts, and all written on different subjects and addressed in different ways. I don't profess to be extremely knowledgeable, but I like to write down the lessons I learn in life, and how and what the Spirit teaches me through life experience. I don't ever try to sound "preachy" but for goodness gracious all I want to do is  "talk of Christ, [and] rejoice in Christ" 2 Nephi 25:26. Yesterday's announcement has not changed my testimony.

I STILL know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints is the true church and at it's head is Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I know He has called a Prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, and with Him a First Presidency, and 12 Apostles. I know that He leads and guides them and they are His mouthpiece.

Here's my testimony in a poem I wrote years ago. Publishing it for the world. Do Not Copy. Because it is published here I have certain copyright rights that you cannot infringe upon!

This sums up how I still feel, and will always feel. 

Truth

By Samantha Iverson

The truth sometimes rings out bright and clear

It's special, unique, different and dear

The truth often hits somewhere inside

Some people try to make the truth hide

Sometimes it isn't always what we wanna hear

But for some reason when we do, our hearts cheer

Sometimes the truth makes us cry 

That's why someone came up with a lie

But lies never last--though they seem like they do

And though sometimes it’s hidden- at some point it pops out--

             the good ole' truth

The truth is steady, it's patient, and real

It’s something that each one of us will feel

Sometimes we notice the truth by our tears

Most times the truth doesn't speak to our ears

No, our hearts hear it best if they are fine tuned

Hearts always listen even when the head doesn't want to

And someone's heart is feeling that yearn

That desire, that with Faith we may learn,

That Want for the truth about our lives before

The truth about after, when we leave this life's door

I know the truth, for it has spoken to my heart

It's something with which I never will part

I've felt it in goose bumps from the gift of a song

I've felt it when a tear fell down my cheek sad and long

I've felt a burning inside my chest

One so strong my heart couldn't rest

I wanted to share it with everyone I knew

And through this poem that's what I hope to do

The truth is, the truth has been restored,

When it spoke to me, it didn't rain, it poured

The truth I felt was that I have a Savior

One who will redeem me if I change my behavior

If I repent when I falter, and try to do my best

I know now He will be there to help me pass my test

The truth that I know is that there is a book

It's the keystone of my religion and if you'll just take a look...

You'll find some things in there, like stories and lessons

You'll find the truth and you won’t be forgettin'

It's called "The Book of Mormon"--it's special to me

For it's everything and only the beginning of what I believe

The truth is, a boy only 14 years old 

Saw Heavenly Father and His Son-and it's not just a story he told

Joseph Smith was a Prophet, a Revelator and a Seer

And it's the truth he found and gave that I hold so dear

The truth of the gospel of Jesus the Christ 

Has been restored in its fullness and for the last time

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints 

It's the only true church-with quite a long name

I know it, I believe it, that this gospel is true,

And though I make mistakes, I'll try his works to do

To have faith, hope and charity

To show by example and teach with clarity

All the things I've been taught and the things I will learn

So that I can help fill the void of a heart that yearns

If I can help give them the gift of the truth

Then His work can continue

And one day what I've said, we will all feel

The truth in its brightness, and we'll know that its real

God loves His children-each and everyone the same

You might be surprised how much more he knows than your name

He wants us to come back with Him to live in His presence

Not one, Not a billion, but ALL back in heaven

That is His work and His glory

To bring eternal life to all men--

                It’s not just a story

This is the truth and if you already know,

Then don't forget how important it is that its told!

And remember what a gift that it is in your life

Don't leave it on a shelf and walk right on by,

Share it, Love it, Live it, and always learn

Because it is a great feeling when your bosom starts to burn

And you know that it's true, with every part of your soul

For peace, happiness and eternal life is the reward

           And I believe--that that, is everyone's goal.

No Strings Attached. Poem.

This poem has been sitting on my desk for a couple of weeks now. I wrote a large portion of it and then thought it was done...but I kindof... asked the Lord if there was more. And there was. Please don't steal. If you use this give me credit. I'm not posting it because I want credit, but I have a book of  my poetry that I have lost, and I have learned that it is beneficial to publish poetry somewhere like this setting so that I can always have it. If you take the time to read this, maybe you will feel what I felt...maybe you will get impression that come not from the words but the meaning underneath them. Or maybe you will just see a story. And that's fine too. The latter part of the poem is obviously more spiritual, but the entire writing is meant to pull at your heart "strings"...as mine were being pulled this particular day. Anything I write comes from a place that's very personal. I always hope that whatever I say people will take with open hearts, not assume anything, and just know that they are from and for me. Really, they're not even from me. This one really wasn't- it was more from my Heavenly Father. I know for the people closest to me- they appreciate what I share with them. But not everyone does. So I hope you'll find some appreciation in this. And again, don't steal :)
p.s. all my poetry is imperfect. deal with it ;)

No Strings Attached

by Samantha Iverson

There once was a Young Man, who gave away a lot of things

The funny thing was, was that each item he gave, had a string!

His heart...so generous. Or at least He thought it was so,

But when people saw him come around they let their eyes a'roll

For pretty soon they realized that the gifts were never theirs

Because the gives could not be given away--they could never be re-shared.

For if you tried to sell them, or even to give them to the poor,

That Young Man would come a knockin', right up to your door!

He'd say, "Remember, I gave this to you! That's why it has a string!

Because if you didn't want it, you must give it back to me!

I know each, and every thing I have--the strings lead to my home

I spent money on these treasures here! 

That's something you should have known!"

So people gave the gifts back, or left them on the shelf

And that Young Man walked around puffed up, quite proud of himself.

Then one day an Old Fellow crossed the path of the Young Man

He saw the Young man walking, with lots of strings in hand

Inquiring, the Old Fellow asked, "What are all those strings?"

The Young Man replied, "These are attached to all my things!

Isn't it a great idea?" he said, to keep track of what's given away?"

The Old Fellow had a puzzled look, and wasn't sure what to say.
He began with, "It might not be good business, and your stockpile might run low,

But I know how you don't have to keep all of your strings in tow."

He said, "What if you gave away your gifts, and didn't want them back?

What if you gave them, if it's possible, with No Strings Attached?"

The Young Man replied softly, "But I love the treasures I own"

He said, "If I just give them, then what will I have to show?"

The Old Fellow smiled, and said, "What matters most is not the strings back to your home, 

But when this life is over God wants to see how much your heart has grown."

Something inside the Young Man made his fingers finally let go

And the strings he held so dearly, disappeared before they hit the road.

The Young Man, surprised, said, "What happened to all the strings!?"

The Old Fellow smiled and said, "You must be forgetting about your things,

Some call it integrity, to do things for others when nobody knows

Some call it charity, pure love deep inside...and kindness is how it grows

These are just of few of the 'things' God wants us to carry around

And inside our homes he hopes only these good 'things' will be found."

The Young Man said, "I understand now, what I am to give, 

It's not about the things I buy, but it's about how I live!"

The Old Fellow said, "Yes, when we get to the other side,

Heavenly Father wants to see if we have let go of our pride."

The Young Man started to leave, feeling much different than before

Then he turned around and asked, "Do you have time for something more?

What if I get caught up again...in selfishness and pride?

What if I am weaker than you think I am inside?"

The Old Fellow answered, as a tear fell down his face,

"My heart's been there too, it's a terrible, awful place.

I thought I was doing well when I looked down and saw more strings

These ones were more like ropes...and they were tying ME to things.

Addictions...on the ropes I saw each of their names

Things I thought were harmless---at least that's what they claimed.

Selfishness, Anger, Gossip, Lying, and even the one named Unkind

I hadn't even realized that all of these were mine!

That's when I discovered, I needed Someone to help cut the ropes

to help me see what I couldn't---help me gain some control.

I had to fill my life with good things, like Charity and Integrity

Like Love, Patience, Kindness, and the one named Trustworthy.

So I began to look for who could help me get rid of what I'd found

For I could not just drop these ropes---they now held me bound.

That's when I found Him. His name is Jesus Christ.

He is really the One who could help me in my life.

He took upon Himself all the strings, and ropes, yes he knows all their names.

He took upon Himself every bad thing, even the one called Pain.

Because He was Perfect, He conquered all that is not Good.

That is how He knows how to help us have the 'things' we could and should.

Not only will he cut the ropes, if we let Him help us so.

But He gives us power so that if the strings start tying we'll know.

He is the One who will change the size of your heart.

And as you do His work He will not fall short on His part.

Then, eventually, who you will have become, is an Old Fellow like me,

Trying to teach a Young Man about Repentance, the Atonement, and letting go of strings.

"Without Murmurings"

1 Nephi 17:1-3

1.....And we did travel and wade through much affliction in the wilderness; and our women did bear children in the wilderness.
2 And so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon raw meat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong, yea, even like unto the men; and they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings.
3 And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness.

This hit me this morning. In verse two, it suggests that the women maybe had a hard time with murmuring. I know I would have---traveling through the wilderness, struggling to find food, pregnant, tired, hungry, etc. But even among all their frustration, they must have seen the hand of the Lord as Nephi did. As they saw that they were able to give birth to healthy children, and that their bodies were able to "provide suck" as it says. I know that that would have been a humbling experience for these women. How scared they must have been having children in the wilderness and not knowing if they were going to find food. They must have found faith. They must have seen the hand of the Lord. They must have started trusting in Him for ALL of their needs...because it says, "they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings." The Lord kept blessing them. They were still following their husbands even though they had murmured--they were still trying to do what the Lord asked. So He blessed them, and He clearly helped their eyes see and their hearts were softened because they began to figure out how to journey without murmuring. How long were they traveling? I know they were married in the wilderness, and bore children---these things take a long time! So this miracle of change that went about in these women didn't happen overnight. Heavenly Father blessed them with strength and they saw His miracles take place in their lives so much so that they were able to stop complaining.

Sometimes I get so mad at myself for getting upset when things don't go the way I want them to. I get frustrated that I get frustrated! It's ridiculous! Emotions are real, and they happen in response to life's experiences. But it doesn't mean they will last forever, and we certainly don't have to let them. When we let the Lord work in us,---when we use the Atonement---we can start to bear our life's burdens without murmuring. I think some of my burdens I still struggle to fight the desire to murmur. But, one of the reasons why this hit me so hard is because I feel like I'm learning how to live without murmuring. Maybe it's because I'm growing up. Maybe it's because I'm a slow learner. Maybe it's because murmuring can just be tiresome. Maybe, it's because the Lord is working in me. I think that's probably it. I see that now. And I'm thankful. And I hope he keeps working on me so that I can completely rid my life of all complaint and all murmuring. My husband would probably appreciate that ;) But most importantly, I know the Lord would appreciate it, and so would I. Because it would mean I would be a little more of who He wants me to be.

I Can't Handle It.

Sometimes...

I can't handle it when I ask my toddler to NOT do something and she deliberately does it anyway.

I can't handle it when I try to put my baby to bed 4 or 5 times and the 6th time I swear she's asleep, I lay her in her crib and my elbow hits the side and wakes her back up. Painful elbow+a trip back to the rocking chair=angry mom.

I can't handle it when I wake up some mornings and our basement abode looks like a literal tsunami took place.

I couldn't handle potty training. Seriously I think we're good now, but for the next kid I'm pretty sure I'm hiring potty trainers- let me know if you're available.

I can't handle when my toddler is cry/whining and tries to tell me what she wants and I have no idea what she's saying.

I often cannot handle getting out of bed to feed lil' baby girl. Again.

Always...

I cannot handle when I'm holding my baby and she's snuggled up to my chest, and she reaches her hand  up to touch my face...just to feel it.

I can't handle---I have absolutely no strength against this---when my toddler says, "can you come snuggle with me?" and I lay (awkwardly) in her toddler bed and she says, "Let's sing 'I Am A Child of God"...I give in every time.

I can't handle when my toddler puts both her arms around my neck and holds on tight---I can't understand how such a young child can understand such strong emotions and how she can convey her love in such a simple way.

I can't handle when my baby smiles and laughs at me like I am actually the funniest individual Heavenly Father has placed on this earth...well she might hold me second to her older sister I'm not sure...

I can't handle the cuteness of when these two little girls interact with each other---how I pray they become the closest of sisters...how I pray they hold on to the simplest yet strongest of emotions of love, forgiveness, and friendship.

I can't handle when my toddler knows whats on the next page of her book about a pig. Cracks me up.

I can't handle when both my kids are squished on my lap...both happy as can be...both just needing some mommy time.

I can't handle being a mom sometimes. Because it's the hardest job I've ever attempted. But my heart also can't handle how much love it feels---it feels so much that it just starts to spill over and run all over and I can't hold back the tears because the love has to come out! Love tears...that's what I'll call em...they show up during those times when I can't handle this 24/7 Amazingly hard and incredibly wonderful job I have of being mom. I get why some people have 19 kids. I get why some feel content with 1. They are hard to care for sometimes (maybe most times) but they are SO easy to love. There's so much love to be felt from these children that if you open your eyes and heart you could never feel dissatisfied. I get why Heavenly Father wants us to be like little children. Their love is unconditional. They forgive me when I forget to be kind, gentle, patient, and loving. They forgive me when I have felt like pulling my hair out...They are patient with me forevermore.

My heart is full, and that feeling in my heart...sometimes...I just can't handle it. I just wonder why I've been entrusted with the care of two of the most beautiful children that God could have ever created. I will always see these two little girls in that way. I will not discredit how fantastic they are, because I will always see them as two of God's princesses. I hope I can teach them that that's who they are. And not the snot-type of princesses. But the humble princesses who know who they are and who will not be anything less or accept anything less. I love them with my whole heart and soul. I want them to know that- and that Heavenly Father also loves them more than I could ever even begin to comprehend...and more than what my heart is even capable of handling.

Truth Seekers

In Relief Society a week or so ago, during our discussion about the prophet Joseph Smith our teacher read a quote from Elder Neil L. Anderson: "Why does the Lord allow the evil speaking to chase after the good? One reason is that opposition against the things of God sends truth seekers to their knees for answers." (This was from his October 2014 talk entitled "Joseph Smith").

That one description--"truth seekers," has stuck with me. Am I a truth seeker? As I've pondered this, I've found two ways in which I hope to be a better truth seeker.

1- First and foremost I want to be a better "truth seeker" in the gospel. I know I have been a truth seeker at times, but sometimes I guess I forget that my spirit is hungry. Unfortunately. And then I taste a little bit of the sweetest parcels of truth and I realize I've been starving! I've always felt like asking questions is a brilliant thing to do---as long as you sincerely, with the Holy Ghost as a companion, seek the truth as you look for answers.

2-In personal relationships. In every relationship there will be awkward moments, ups and downs, hard times, and hurt feelings. I hate those times. But one thing that makes it easier is seeking the truth of the situation. When we worry about the details and fret about the small offenses, it holds us back. Not only that, but it clouds our vision. The truth is that we are all God's children. We are here to love each other, and by doing so we help each other become better. I've found it's easier to assume the best in people. I haven't always done that and I've learned the hard way that most folks really do have good intentions. Sure there's a lot of bad in this world because there's supposed to be...but holding on to the good and assuming the best in our loved ones is often a force that pushes us all to a better emotional place. I've found that in tough moments if I take a step back and ask myself, "What is the truth in this situation?" and I separate the emotions for a moment, it helps me see the truth and then I can respond better and be more loving, kind, and hopefully a little more like how our Savior would be.

Moroni 10:5 "And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things."

As I've said before this blog is a place where I can write my life lessons so that I can look back and remember what the Lord was trying to teach me. He often has to teach me the same lessons over and over again. I choose to share it because sometimes maybe it'll be helpful in other's lives as well.

"If you can't see it, hear it, or feel it, then it doesn't exist."

At least that's what the mean kangaroo from Horton Hears A Who thinks.

I've been watching this show almost daily, (not voluntarily...by force from my 2 year old) and every time I hear her make this comment in the movie I cringe. The whole movie is her battle with Horton concerning what she believes in an unimportant "spec." However, Horton has heard the voice of the Mayor of Whoville (a place with many good Whos) and thus he knows that the spec is a world smaller than theirs and it must be protected.

In relation to real life...and whether God exists or not... I tend to NOT follow the kangaroo's advice.

I, like Horton, have a belief in something that I would say is not obviously seen, heard, or felt. And I don't think we need big elephant ears to hear it, because even the kangaroo, along with all the other animals in the jungle, eventually heard the people of Whoville.

I have heard the Holy Ghost speak to me, not with my ears, but with my heart. I have seen countless miracles that I know are miracles from a Heavenly Father who is concerned about me in my life. I have felt in my heart, and soul the truth: that an Only Begotten Son came here and died for me. And I know that He rose again. He lives and He is aware of me, and He loves me---even when I make dumb choices. His love I have felt so strong that I want to be better, and like Horton I want to protect it, and I want to tell everyone that it exists---even if they haven't yet heard it, seen it, or felt it.

And for those who have heard/felt/seen and are wondering if they still believe...

As silly as this may sound there's a part in the movie where a dirty rotten vulture takes the "spec" which currently resides on a clover, and he throws it into a field of clovers. Horton faithfully goes through every clover...not finding the "spec" anywhere. All of a sudden the wind picks up and all the clovers he has checked start flying around and he starts to think maybe all hope really is lost---when he finally sees the tiny "spec" on top of it's trusty clover. He recovers that clover and after a few more trials he finally gets it to a safe place.

Sometimes we have to have tremendous faith in something that we cannot find. And I promise that eventually, we will see the miracle...but remember, it might be the size of a spec.  And "even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you" (Alma 32:27) and you'll realize that the truth exists. If you faithfully search you too will see, hear, and feel that He is real--Jesus Christ is real and He loves each of us more than we could ever understand.

Sure I'm a stay at home mom who watches way too many children's movies and maybe I relate the gospel to silly things. But it's important to me, and it is very real to me, and I love the gospel. I love knowing that I can walk with the Savior everyday if I would just invite Him. And I know He is watching even when I forget to invite Him. "His grace is sufficient" for my good days and bad. (Moroni 10:32)

Laughter is easier.

Laughter is easier than crying
Loving is easier than hatefulness
Kindness is easier than regret
Forgiveness is easier than carrying hurt
Repentance is easier than continuing sin
Obedience is easier than Repentance
Joy is better than Pain
Pain is better than ignorance
Loss is easier with Faith
Choice is better than Force
Happiness is possible because of Christ.


You may initially disagree on some of these statements. But honestly, the easier path is always righteousness, and the only way to stay on it is with Christ. And this life comes with all sorts of junk we have to sort through---so hopefully you choose to do so with our Brother, the only truly reliable source available.

Hopefully you choose to laugh as often as you can. Hopefully you choose to not carry burdens alone. Hopefully you try your darndest knowing full well your capabilities are limited without Him. Hopefully you see the purpose of pain, and the beauty of choice. Hopefully you seek for quiet moments---to commune with the best Listener of all. Hopefully in the midst of all that is scary, hard, and frustrating---you seek peace....And hopefully your heart is sensitive enough to feel it. After all,

Hope and Faith are much easier, and Stronger, than Doubt.

Miracles-Blessings-Trials

This is the topic that kept me up last night. I may have been awakened by a baby who is leaving me no room to sleep peacefully throughout the night without taking a visit to the little girl's room. And then the same beautiful baby in this belly of mine also needed food. Needless to say, I am awake every night for various lengths of time. Which is essentially what brought me to this subject. This miracle pregnancy, (for I truly believe every pregnancy is a miracle) may be a beautiful and a wonderful and an exciting thing, it has also been a trial. As most women would agree, pregnancy is NOT easy peasy lemon squeezy.

BUT, it gives us a gift which requires more gratitude than I think I could ever explain. It's a gift of life, a gift of love, a gift that is eternal. This hard 9 months brings about my most cherished calling in life...motherhood.

Unfortunately I do not wake up every morning with those kinds of thoughts in my head. The first phrase that typically enters my mind is usually, "Oh girl please go back to sleep!" But then I get up. Except on those awesome days daddy is home and he lets me sleep a little longer :)

As I pondered all of this, I realized every miracle, blessing, and trial in my life has all been connected to each other. Whether it was because of a "trial of my faith" that I received a miracle, or if because of a blessing in my life I also had trials that went with it. Sometimes the pattern just goes crazy and life looks something like this:

Miracle. Trial. Blessing. Blessing. Blessing. TRIAL. trial. trial. .....miracle. Blessing. trial. etc.

Examples:
The miracle that I feel when I am able to sing a song and know that one heart was touched. But tied with that often comes the feelings of nervousness, and the all too familiar headache that I get afterward because I get so stressed out about it sometimes. Especially the journey of song that happens after having a baby. Waiting for my voice to get back to normal, and not feeling as sure of myself was and will be hard again. But as hard and emotional as it can be, it's worth it. Because I see someone who was listening and somehow I know, that I was an instrument for the Lord to touch his or her heart. And that's all I need to keep singing.

The miracle that is a child. I've mentioned pregnancy, (cuz that's kindof on my mind all day everyday) but to see my little girl grow and learn to talk and walk. But with that comes potty-training, repetition of books that I would at this point feel very comfortable about throwing into the fire, and of course the all too familiar newborn stage that I'm positive takes superpowers to endure. But we do it because we love it. She knows how to blow away my frustrations as if they were little feathers, by just giving me a smile and saying the phrase daddy taught her... "Yeah, Buddy!" :)

Every one of us experiences trials big and small, but somehow if we are on the right path--it seems like Heavenly Father knows how to keep us moving forward if only we with look with an eye of faith and see His hand in all things. Sometimes my miracles are as simple as me finally getting a break during naptime when my toddler hasn't taken a nap in two days. Sometimes it's just that feeling of how grateful I am to have such an amazing husband, and the miracle is as simple as me waking up next to him every morning.

The more hardships I hear from other's lives I watch my blessings become miracles...because they mean that much more to me knowing that I didn't have to go through what another person may have had to endure.

"If you are on the right path, it will always be uphill. The Lord is anxious to lead us to the safety of higher ground" -President Henry B. Eyring

I suppose my mind tends to lean towards the negative...and so when the world is quiet, the Lord has to teach me about the beauty of this life, and specifically my own life. I really like sleep, but again the trial of bags under my eyes comes with the blessing of me waking up with a smile on my face.

"Don't be gloomy. Even if you are not happy, put a smile on your face. This is the gospel of good news, this is a message of joy, this is the thing of which the angels sang when they sang of the birth of the Son of God. This is a work of eternal salvation; this is something to be happy and excited about. You won't get anywhere if you go with a frown on your face" -President Gordon B. Hinckley

I'm so excited to meet this new little girl growing everyday inside me. If you've been around me this summer and I've seemed gloomy, I'm sorry I got a little like Eeyore when I was sick. I promise happier me is here. I don't feel like I need to tie a trash bag to my belt in case I throw up anymore.I'm feeling...not normal...but certainly a lot more like I can turn my frown upside down :)

I'm thankful for my miracles-blessings-trials and all, because it helps me know the Lord just loves me.

My Testimony of the Temple

First off, when I said I would rejoin the lovely Facebook crowd, it was for one reason. One reason only.
To use it as a tool to share my testimony. So, when I got invited to join this "Flood Facebook with the Temple" group, I jumped at the chance.

How do I write about something---when  I feel my knowledge of it has only scratched the surface?

I'm praying the spirit will guide me in sharing my feelings and emotions about the temple in a way that will be felt more than understood just by words.

I feel I have so much more to learn about the temple. But here's what I know:

-I know that when I'm there I have the opportunity to feel peace in a way that is specific to the Lord's House. I know in the temple, when I quiet my mind and heart, my chest burns with the warmth of God's love--as if in one instance He can answer all of my questions, just by reminding me that, "I'm here. I love you. I know you. I hear you."

-I know that the ordinances that take place in the temple are eternal. I know we can act as Saviors on Mount Zion, doing work for those who have passed on. I know the people who came before us that didn't receive the special blessings that come from the temple, can still receive those blessings with our help.

-I know that the Lord has spoken to me in the temple. In a way that my heart understands...which is much stronger and more everlasting than anything I could ever hear with my ears.

-I know that I feel peace and gratitude knowing that my family can be together forever. The sealing power in the temple is real, and it binds families together for eternity.

-I know that when I'm in the temple, especially with my siblings and parents, I feel content. I feel like everything is going to be okay.

-I know only a few things, but the experiences I've had in the temple have always led me to believe that it is truly a House of the Lord. It is a place where our Savior can dwell. It is a place where the distractions of this world are put aside, and we can focus on eternal--and the most important--of all things. If I'm ever in search of direction, I can go there and see my path more clearly. If I just need to feel peace--one of the hardest things to find in this world--I can go there and finally feel it.

If you don't know where else to go in this life, go to the temple. Find your way there. Do what you have to do to be worthy to enter. It's the one place in this world that reminds me of what it must have felt like in heaven. I'm grateful that I have had the blessing of living so close to the temple, and that my family has been blessed because of it.

First, Seek to Obtain My Word

“Seek not to declare my word, but first seek to obtain my word, and then shall your tongue be loosed; then, if you desire, you shall have my Spirit and my word, yea, the power of God unto the convincing of men” (D&C 11:21). (lds.org)

I wonder, in all seriousness, the literal number of times I have been told to read my scriptures. Throughout my childhood, my teenage years, and even since being an adult. So many times. So many. 

Why? 

In the times we live in there's so much proof of this or that. There's research on one thing and research on another thing. There's ways to document everything in life making it "easier" to find truth. Unfortunately, I think I have been distracted and confused at times and I have relied on many different sources for strength and reassurance. Though they have all been good sources, I still find myself seeking peace. I don't think it's just my personality speaking when I say we live in a pretty crazy and not-exactly-peaceful world. There are literal psychos all over the place. I don't use the term psycho lightly or impolitely either. I am simply pointing out the obvious. I've always wished I could go back in time and live in a quieter world, (not forever, but maybe a day) but then I think, maybe I'm better off not knowing the extent of the horror that exists on the earth today. If I were to see how good it may have been at times, maybe I would be too afraid to come back to 2014. Because of the world's terribleness, we are bombarded by advertisements for anything and everything that will, "make us happy." 

But the thought of trying to figure out what will help bring me peace is overwhelming--when I look to the world's advice. How do I know what's right? How do I find something that will truly help and give me everlasting comfort? Out of all the worlds offerings, how do I know where to go? Sound familiar? 

Joseph Smith had a similar experience when seeking which religion he should join. He was offered many seemingly good choices, yet he was confused. 

So, he sought God's word. 

The scriptures were the only foundation he saw fit to lead him to figuring out the answer to a life-changing question. "What should I do?"

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him" James 1:5

Admittedly, my impatience makes me try to skip the scripture-checking step and go directly to prayer. Not a bad way to go, but maybe not the best.

As I've tried to be better at reading my scriptures, I know why Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ tell us to "Obtain My Word". 

In the Bible Dictionary, under the word "Prayer" we read:

"As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are His children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part (Matt. 7:7–11). Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship. Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other. The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them. Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them. Prayer is a form of work and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings.

There are many passages in the New Testament that teach the duty of prayer (Matt. 7:7; 26:41; Luke 18:1; 21:36;Eph. 6:18; Philip. 4:6; Col. 4:2; 1 Thes. 5:17, 25; 1 Tim. 2:1, 8). Christians are taught to pray in Christ’s name (John 14:13–14; 15:7, 16; 16:23–24). We pray in Christ’s name when our mind is the mind of Christ, and our wishes the wishes of Christ—when His words abide in us (John 15:7). We then ask for things it is possible for God to grant. Many prayers remain unanswered because they are not in Christ’s name at all; they in no way represent His mind but spring out of the selfishness of man’s heart." (lds.org)

When I read the scriptures, I better understand our Savior. I start to see how Heavenly Father was and is, and my mind automatically starts to think higher thoughts. And one of the blessings that I feel directly comes from reading the scriptures, is peace. 

So here we are in this world trying to seek truth. Trying to be happy. I've found that if I will just do the simple "primary answers" of reading my scriptures, saying my prayers, and going to church--my life changes for the better. I find peace--and I feel the divine strength that gives me confidence, knowledge, and power to go forward with faith.  

I don't have a lot of knowledge or wisdom, but I can bear testimony of a few powerful truths. I know that reading the scriptures is one of the ways we keep a firm grip on the iron rod. It's one way we can find solace, and one way we can find answers to the questions we are always asking. When we obtain His word, we start to receive revelation for our lives, guidance towards the straight and narrow path of righteousness-- in a world that offers too many different roads to take. 

It's a simple task, but we have to do it. We cannot afford to leave our scriptures closed. We cannot risk thinking that we know enough. If our lives are too busy to read, maybe we need to reevaluate our priorities. 

This is the newest lesson I'm learning in my life. There's always something the Lord's tryin' to teach me. And since I'm a little dumb sometimes I get the same lessons over and over :) But that's okay, it just means the truth is real and it lasts. What was true for me as a child is still true for me as an adult. I have to do the simple things to be the happiest. That's just the way it is. 

One Simple Smile.

It's amazing how one genuine smile from someone can make you feel like taking in a deep breath...and finally really breathing. Of course all of us who are alive, breathe. But some of us have a hard time getting through each day physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually...whatever it may be. But sometimes, one smile, is like a breath of the freshest air you've ever breathed. It's simple.

I may not always say the right thing. I may not always DO the right thing. But I can smile. Even when I'm sad, my heart is still willing to throw out a genuine smile...simply from the fact that even though I may not know you, I know you're a child of God like me. And I know I have struggles so I figure you do too. So if I can't do anything else I will smile, truly smile. And I hope people feel that.

Because I felt it today from someone else. And it made me breathe, like life feels good.

And I'm thankful for that.

A word on, all the important things.

This post probably needs Chapters. That's how full my brain is right now. So many thoughts.


--It's been a while. Life's crazy. Toddlers are a busy job. My little one keeps me on my toes.

I am a writer. I am not very good at putting a label to something, but one thing I've found to be sure is this truth. I have to write. It keeps me sane. And if I keep my mind above the deep thoughts I have then I'm not as happy. I feel like the world has so many distractions to keep me busy. Pinterest, Cellphones, (dumb) Facebook, and Life itself can sometimes become a distraction. Is that a strange concept? I feel like we can get caught up in too much of unimportant life issues and we're so busy problem solving that we don't take a moment to look eternally. Maybe I'm the only who feels this way. Probably not.

Anyhow, I'm always looking for lessons in my life. I have an ongoing journal in my head, and I feel like over the last 4+ months I've continuously started writing something and then I just keep scribbling it out. So today I'm forcing my brain to do what it does best, ponder deeply...and then write. For me, it's therapy. It's relaxing. It's an accomplishment, but it's not something I have to work hard at. (I probably could work harder to make my grammar and punctuation better...)

I've learned lessons about marriage, friendships, hardships, motherhood, and about being myself.

 "TREADIN' ON SACRED GROUND"

There is an old country song I heard over the weekend titled, "Sacred Ground" made famous by a band called McBride and the Ride. I'm a sucker for all generations of country.

Here's the part I love about it,
"It's a precious thing you don't know nothin' about
We were joined in the eyes of the Lord
And the eyes of our Hometown
why don't you leave her alone
you're treadin' on sacred ground"

In the world we live in, marriage has to be protected. And I truly think it's not as easy as it used to be. This song is about a man warning another man, but I heard it differently. We should warn whatever comes in the way of our marriages to get outta here, you're treadin' on sacred ground. Meaning, all the above mentioned distractions that are technologically related, and all the other 'stuff' that just gets in the way. It's different for everyone, but Satan finds whatever tools he can to get in and try to destroy the most sacred things in our lives. If he can ruin a marriage, he will. We all know this. But I think sometimes we struggle to see him sneak in. He comes in the forms of whatever is important to this world, money, social status, media, etc. We have to seek out the things of a better world. When it comes to marriages, they are most sacred, and they ought to be most protected.

"If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don't expose it to the elements. You don't make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by." -Elder F. Burton Howard.

That's been pinned once or twice....and thank goodness because it's a beautiful description of what I am tryin to write. Marriage, is something that is supposed to bind us together. We must work hard to make sure it does that, by taking care of it. Making it stronger everyday.

Friendships

I haven't always been a super good friend to everyone. It's not because I'm rude, or because I don't want to be a good friend, I'm just content with my few close friends and the enormous amount of family that I have. According to The Color Code/The People Code, I am a White personality. We're pretty content, and tend to be lazy, and potentiallly not very fun. My second color is Blue, and that's where my need for closeness to people comes from. So it makes sense that I'm really close to my bubble filled with wonderful people, but I'm not real great at branching out.

I'm learning, that there are amazing people out there who I enjoy becoming friends with. Now that I don't work at the theater I don't get as much social interaction outside of my family and the church. But honestly, my testimony of the visiting teaching program has increased 10-fold. It has helped me be a better friend. I love seeing my sisters, and I love all the things I learn from them. Slowly, but surely I'm learning how to be a good friend to everyone.

I'm super thankful to my buddy Charlee Ann, for being a superstar friend since 5th grade. She is that person who seems like she should be one of my sisters. She's always been an example to me of how to be a great friend. Neither one of us has been perfect, but over the years we've taught each other a lot. We will still be calling/texting each other when we're in our 90's. Kids will be like, "what's texting?" And we will be like, "don't worry about it" and we'll push through the arthritis to tell each other something hilarious. And then we'll have to tell the nurses that we need a diaper change.

Hardships

Well all I've learned in this chapter is that hardships come. No matter who ya are or where yer from. They come and they come fast and hard and it sucks. But there's only one way to get through em'... With the help of our Savior Jesus Christ. Simple and sweet. Short but true.

Motherhood and Being Myself

Motherhood is hard. It it's too often that people make us feel like motherhood is not enough. The world teaches that  you are not smart enough, you are not bold enough, you are not beautiful enough, and you are certainly not accomplished enough, if you are just a mother.

I beg to differ.

I've recently got caught up in this idea myself, but I was reminded by my mother that motherhood is of ultimate importance. Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing enough in my life, along with all that I do at home. But my life is at home. And that's the best place for it to be. My mom reminded me that when we get to heaven Heavenly Father isn't going to care as much about our list of accomplishments. He is going to care how we took care of His children. Whether they were the ones at home, or the children He needs us to serve in our wards and neighborhoods. But, if ALL you do is your very best for each one of your kids, you're doing pretty awesome. And that's the message I forgot.

And I don't think it's so much what we "do" as mothers. It's hard to explain, but it's what we become because of motherhood. When we are constantly serving, teaching, and loving, our kids we are doing what Christ did when he was here. And that makes us understand Him. I've had to stop at least 25 times while writing this. That's life with a toddler. If that doesn't teach patience I don't know what does.

The purpose in this life is to become. Become a loving person. Become a spiritual person. Become like our Savior. Become more Godly. Become more humble. Become more patient, teachable, more clean, more true, etc. Motherhood is a catalyst for becoming Godly.

Sadly, Satan has a hold on too many mothers, and just like everything even motherhood, one of the most sacred callings in this life, can become tainted.

So I put this section last on purpose. As a reminder to myself and to all mothers that what you do matters, but more importantly it's enough because of who motherhood is helping you to become. It's special, it's sacred, it's crazy hard, and it's worth it.

Never forget that.

And when it comes to being myself, being a mom is who I am. I am a thinker, a writer, a singer, and I might be a little socially awkward sometimes. But that's who I am and that's Okay. First and foremost I am a mom, to the most beautiful little girl in the whole world. She makes me smile every day. She also makes me scream a little. But then I just have to love her even more for it. I love my job.

Those are my life lessons. Always more to come.

I must go now, to clean the house that has been destroyed during this writing process.

Why does the Father forgive so much?

In my Sunday School class, my amazing kids are constantly testing me. But only because I ask em' to. Every week we give them slips of paper, and tell them to write questions they have about the month's topic, or about anything in the gospel. February's subject is "The Plan of Salvation" and January's topic has been "The Godhead." Every question I get is wonderful. They make me study harder, and the practice of asking questions and finding answers is hopefully being instilled in their hearts. As it is in mine.

But this question, it hit me like a spiritual arrow soft, but nonetheless intense and straight into my chest. It was one of those moments where the tears began to well up whether I wanted them to or not.

The question that was given to me, is the title of this post. "Why does the Father forgive so much?"

I know without a shadow of a doubt that when we are called in positions in the church our Heavenly Father helps us feel the love He has for the individuals in our classes, quorums, groups, etc. And when I read this question it was like an immediate rush of love came in to my soul. I know that Heavenly Father is aware of every individual in my class---and my senses were heightened all of a sudden to make me see that.

I don't know who wrote the question. I have no idea what struggles many of my students face. I know they struggle with similar things that I struggled with in high school...but, I don't know enough about the rest of their lives to understand what they're going through. So I don't know if this question came from a need of understanding that the Father will forgive this individual, or if it was because they wondered why people who do horrible things can still be forgiven.

Here's my answer to the question:

   I don't know why our Father in Heaven forgives so much. It boggles my mind, while at the same time warming my heart. I don't know that there's a limit to how much he will forgive---I really don't think there is one. I know that our understanding of love and forgiveness IS limited. We are still learning how to love, and how to forgive. I know that some of our brothers and sisters do some pretty terrible things in this life and I don't understand why. I am thankful that I don't  have to understand how to judge them on Judgement Day. I'm thankful that that job is up to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I know that our Father in Heaven knows us in and out, past, present, and future. He knows our spirits because he created us. We are His children.

Sometimes I think I know Camry so well because she began life inside of me, and the first 9 months we were inseparable :)haha. And then she came to this earth and it was a feeling of-- "I know you. I've known you for a while now, and yet we're just meeting each other, but I'm here to take care of you, I promise."  But when I ponder being a partner with Heavenly Father in bringing His children to the earth I realize that He knew her those 9 months too, He knew her long before I did. He will continue to know her better than I ever can. That knowledge is strange, but so fulfilling and safe. I trust His arms more than I trust my own. I know He is a better parent than me, and although I'm here to love and guide her--part of my purpose is to teach her how to build a relationship with her Father in Heaven.

Because He knows each of us soooo well, I know he has the ability to forgive and know when our hearts are pure. He knows when we truly repent. He knows when we seek His forgiveness with all the sincerity of our souls. He knows when we need Him. And I KNOW that he will never leave us empty. He may not send down a choir of angels, but I guarantee He will send peace. That's one of the jobs of the Holy Ghost, to comfort us and give us peace when we think we are not worth it. And Christ is the mediator in and through it all. We are to gain a relationship with Him just as we do the Father.

Why does the Father forgive so much? I don't know, but I know He sure loves us and wants us to have all that He has. Why did the Savior hang on the cross? Why did he rise again triumphant from the tomb? Why do we seek forgiveness?  Because we are not perfect. But there was a Plan set forth long before we came here that made it so that imperfect people can become perfect. Part of the plan was to come to earth, receive bodies, be imperfect, and require the Savior's Atonement to make it back to be with the Father who loved us enough to make a straight path for us. Another part, the Savior's Atonement, made it possible for us to become at one with our Father, clean and whole.

Alls I knows is....I'm thankful He forgives so much. I need it. I need His love and forgiveness probably more than I need air to breathe. It's that important. The beyond shocking part is that I don't always seek it out. I ought to be slapped in the face for that. But that's part of my journey. Learning to seek out what truly nourishes my soul. And I know that our Father's love, and His endless forgiveness, is more nourishing and more filling than any food or water. I know the Savior's love is perfect. He is "the way, the truth, and the life" (John 14:6). I would be lost without all three members of the Godhead. I would not know the purpose of my life if not for the Plan of Salvation. I would be forever scarred and lonely if it were not for the Savior's Atonement to strengthen, lift, and heal me. I would be hopeless, if I did not know, that my Father in Heaven can, and will, forgive so much. 

Family Storage

   While preparing a lesson on the Second Coming, my mind has been drawn to this phrase, "Family Storage." And as I was studying Mark 13, I came across a scripture that finally put my hands to this keyboard. It talks about one of the signs before the Second Coming.

Mark 13:12, "Now the brother shall betray the brother to death, and the father the son; and children shall rise up against their parents, and shall cause them to be put to death."

Can we relate this scripture to our own lives? I hope you don't want to betray family members and/or kill them...OBVIOUSLY. But, is Satan still working on us to destroy relationships? What if this scripture is meant for more than just the literal meaning of killing each other?

I like to forgive. But I find myself, just as we all do, holding grudges. Part of life is learning to not sweat the small stuff right? Right.

But sometimes there's big stuff. Hard stuff to deal with in life. Especially in familial circumstances.

That's when Satan tries real hard to kill relationships. He wants us to turn against our siblings, our parents, our loved ones.

We can't let that happen! The Second Coming will come, sooner or later it will come. And food storage is gonna be important, water storage is gonna be real important, but what about family storage?

The Prophets have urged us to prepare ourselves, and prepare we must! Part of being prepared is being spiritually prepared. If we don't remember the people who Heavenly Father has blessed us to know as our families here on earth and throughout eternity, than what have we remembered? Now is the time to forgive each other, put differences behind, and love as the Savior loves us. In times of need, we will not only need physical nourishment from food and water- we will require love, support, and help from each other.

My life is a constant struggle of trying to love and forgive. Sometimes I'm great at it. Sometimes I really suck. But it hit me today stronger than ever before, that the people in my life I absolutely need the most--are the members of my family. Because they are God's gift to me when life gets the toughest. We cannot expect perfection from each other, but we can love, teach, and try to be examples of the Savior who loved perfectly. I've written it before, and I'll write it again. We were never asked to be perfect on our own, we've always required the Savior's Atonement. If we could see each other through the Savior's eyes, I'm sure we could never hold a grudge, feel hatred, or seek to hurt others. We would only see---probably people just like ourselves, scarred but seeking. Hoping to do the right thing.

I loved how President Uchtdorf said in the last General Conference, "If you define hypocrite as someone who fails to live up perfectly to what he or she believes, then we are all hypocrites. None of us is quite as Christlike as we know we should be. But we earnestly desire to overcome our faults and the tendency to sin. With our heart and soul we yearn to become better with the help of the Atonement of Jesus Christ." I sure know a lot of the right things, but I'm always struggling to do them. But I'm trying, just like we all are. And if we are yoked with Christ, then we are just where we need to be--moving forward. 

So, I guess all I'm saying is, there is no better time than now to love, forgive, and put in the past the mistakes of others. Now is the best time to seek for confidence in Christ so that we don't worry about the problems of others as much. When we know Him, it becomes much easier to see people as He sees them. And suddenly forgiveness is easy. Or at least, easier. 

I write this because I need it the most. I share it because I figure there's someone out there like me who struggles with their "family storage" too. Remember how important our loved ones are. Keep loving them, even when they may not love back. Christ experiences the latter every moment of every day. He understands. He can teach us how to build our "family storage" so that we become stronger as family units. So strong that Satan cannot enter in to tempt us. 

Thank goodness for the scriptures-they can always put things into perspective.